You're tuned to the good stuff
Time Travel Farmer
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Fresh off finishing their time machine, two buddies brush aside plans like meeting famous musicians or saving historical figures and settle on something dumber: snatching a farmer from the 1800s. They drop him into modern Times Square, then the ocean, an airport runway and outer space, mocking him each time for presumably mistaking a television, a plane or a ten-person bicycle for farm animals. Their final stop is Times Square in the year 30,000, a kaleidoscopic fractal world that leaves all three yelling the same thing.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Hey, 1800s farmer idiot, it ain't no goose. It's an airplane.
He probably thinks it's like some big red spider or something.
Are we standing on a fractal?
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Every location in the sketch is a composited backdrop behind the same three performers.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Time Traveler 2
Dude hit it with your hammer now. Let's shake it
- 00:06
Time Traveler 1
We totally just finished our time machine. Dude.
- 00:08
Time Traveler 2
We should totally go back and see Pac live in concert.
- 00:11
Time Traveler 1
Oh, we should go back in time and save Jesus.
- 00:14
Time Traveler 2
Nah.
- 00:14
Time Traveler 1
Oh, you know what we should do? We should go into the future when we both have girlfriends and then totally bang out our girlfriends.
- 00:20
Time Traveler 2
No, dude, you know what we should do? We should go back in time to like the 1800s and grab some stupid fucking farmer who ain't seen shit. Bring him here now to Times Square at night, watch him freak the fuck out.
- 00:32
Time Traveler 1
Oh, he will freak out. Let's do it.
- 00:35
Time Traveler 2
Hey.
- 00:40
Time Traveler 1
Hey, what's up, Farmer?
- 00:41
Time Traveler 2
Having fun doing nothing?
- 00:43
Time Traveler 1
Grab him.
- 00:45
Time Traveler 2
Bam. Times Square.
- 00:47
Time Traveler 1
He is freaking out.
- 00:49
Time Traveler 2
Dude, he's totally freaking out, man.
- 00:51
Time Traveler 2
You see that? You know what that is? That's a giant television, idiot.
- 00:56
Time Traveler 1
You see that? You know what that is?
- 00:58
Time Traveler 2
Yeah, of course you don't know what that is, dumb nuts. That's a car. Transportation on wheels.
- 01:02
Time Traveler 1
He probably thinks it's like a horse or something. He's gonna go try to milk it or some stupid stuff.
- 01:06
Time Traveler 2
Oh, dude, you know what we should do? We should take him to the ocean in the future.
- 01:10
Time Traveler 1
Oh, he will freak out. Grab him.
- 01:13
Time Traveler 2
Whoa! You're freaking out?
- 01:15
Time Traveler 1
Dude, of course he's freaking out, man.
- 01:17
Time Traveler 1
Look at him. It's the year 7,000 or something.
- 01:19
Time Traveler 2
We're in the ocean. This is crazy.
- 01:22
Time Traveler 1
I bet he never seen the ocean before.
- 01:25
Time Traveler 2
Yeah, he probably thinks we're in some giant teacup or something stupid.
- 01:28
Time Traveler 1
Hey, dum-dum, we ain't in no giant teacup. It's the ocean.
- 01:31
Time Traveler 2
Oh, you know what we should do? We should take him to an airport runway right as a plane's about to take off. He will freak out. Totally, grab him.
- 01:40
Time Traveler 1
Look at that, dick. You know what that is?
- 01:42
Time Traveler 2
No, he doesn't know what that is. He's freaking out. Oh, man.
- 01:45
Time Traveler 1
Oh, here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes. He's freaking out.
- 01:49
Time Traveler 2
He probably thinks it's like some giant goose or something. He's so stupid. Hey, 1800s farmer idiot. It ain't no goose. It's an airplane. We use those to go to Florida.
- 01:58
Time Traveler 1
Hey, let's take him to outer space. He would freak out. He'll freak out. Grab him.
- 02:13
Time Traveler 2
Remember this place? Back in Times Square. you. Look at that. That's a 10-person bicycle.
- 02:18
Time Traveler 1
Yeah, he probably thinks it's like some big red spider or something.
- 02:20
Time Traveler 2
Yeah, it ain't no big red spider. It's a 10-person bicycle.
- 02:24
Time Traveler 1
Oh, dude, you know what we should do? We should bring him to Times Square in the year 30,000. He will freak out. Freak out.
- 02:32
Time Traveler 2
Look at that. What is that? What the is that, man? What is that? What, is that, like, a water person or something? That person looks like diamonds. What the... Are we standing on a fractal?
- 02:43
Time Traveler 1
Dude, I'm freaking out, man.
- 02:44
Farmer
I'm freaking out.
- 02:45
Time Traveler 2
I'm freaking out, man.
- 02:46
Farmer
I am freaking out.
- 02:47
Time Traveler 1
Let's go, man.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
