Kindergarten Cons

Framed as a trailer for a fish-out-of-water movie, the sketch follows five chained convicts who escape a gleeful shotgun-toting guard, run through the woods and slip into an elementary school, where a staff member greets them as the new kindergarten teachers. Their threats and snarling do nothing to tame the class, so they decide to teach the children what they know: a whiteboard lesson on habeas corpus, a maths problem built on prison bartering with packs of cigarettes, and jailhouse advice for a boy who got a wedgie at recess. The trailer ends on its brightly coloured title card.

Originally aired in Season 3, Episode 12 (April 14, 2009), between "Yellow Mustard-ed" and "Table Monster". Wikipedia describes it as another of the troupe's fish-out-of-water movie trailers. The official WKUK channel re-uploaded it in 2025 under the title "Beyond Scared Straight".