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Opposite Day

The Whitest Kids U'Know 2007 Season 1 Episode 4

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A defense attorney turns an open-and-shut murder trial into a battle over playground rules by declaring Opposite Day.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

6.0 / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Lawyerstein has little defense for Mr. Picklecopter after the jury hears a confession and overwhelming evidence. He first appeals to the jurors’ desire for attention, then announces that Opposite Day will reverse their verdict. The judge and prosecutor George try to explain why the courtroom cannot work that way, but their denials only give the defense more material. As a bewildered juror asks for clarification, George attempts to use the same trick. Lawyerstein answers with another playground rule, takes control of the court and turns the proceedings into an overt pitch for the troupe’s uncensored DVD.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 5

Highly quotable.

I assure you, it is not Opposite Day.

So, it's not Opposite Day?

Now we're gonna do court my way, the Lawyerstein way.

ScriptEnglish · 36 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
George
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we have heard ironclad evidence, we have heard eyewitness testimonies, we have watched surveillance footage, we have even been read the signed confession by Mr. Picklecopter himself, admitting that on the night of May 30th he did in fact murder his pregnant wife and dump her body in the Oak Ridge quarry. In a minute, you folks are going to get up.
00:26
George
You're going to go in that jury room. You're going to return here with a verdict. Before you do, I want you to take a minute right now, and I want you to think. I want you to think about poor Mrs. Picklecopter.
00:38
George
I want you to think about that baby she never got to have.
00:44
George
They're not here to speak for themselves today. That's your job. Thank you.
00:53
Judge
All right, the prosecution rests. The defense will now make its closing statement.
00:56
Lawyerstein
um I'm not gonna stand here and bore you with the details of who probably killed who the prosecution has done an excellent job at laying out the case against my client I just want to say that wouldn't it be crazy if despite all that evidence you guys still came back with a not guilty verdict think about it But it'd be crazy.
01:39
Lawyerstein
It'd be huge news. It'd be on all the news channels in the country. Everyone would want to get an interview with you. Everyone would be like, why'd you make that decision? You'd probably have to get your own press secretary.
01:47
George
Objection!
01:48
Judge
All right, Mr. Lawyerstein, I'm not going to allow you to sit here and bribe the jury. I'd like the jury to ignore all the defense's previous statements.
01:56
Lawyerstein
As would I. Good. Good. It's a fair call. It's a fair judge. I'm glad we're playing that way. Anyway, I'm proud to say that that was a test, and you all passed.
02:11
Judge
Let's just move this along, sir. Okay?
02:15
Lawyerstein
I've said my piece. In a second, you guys are going to go back there and decide guilty or not guilty. But as you're about to write down your verdict, I feel it's my duty to inform you that in exactly five seconds, it will officially become opposite day
02:36
George
objection
02:37
Judge
hey mr lawyer steen i will not allow that mental trickery in my court i would like the jury to know that it is not in fact opposite day
02:47
Lawyerstein
that's not right your honor
02:49
Judge
lawyer steen you tell these people that it's not opposite day
02:52
Lawyerstein
it's not opposite day
02:57
Judge
thank you
02:58
Lawyerstein
you're not welcome your honor
02:59
Judge
hey ladies and gentlemen of the jury It is not opposite day. Whatever verdict you come back with will be literally interpreted as the verdict
03:07
Lawyerstein
Do you guys not get that?
03:08
Judge
Hey, I will hold you in contempt.
03:11
Lawyerstein
Uh, thank you. I mean boom
03:13
Judge
Sit down Ladies and gentlemen the jury I apologize for all of this. I would like you to ignore everything that Laura Steen has said here today I assure you it is not Opposite day does everyone understand? Are there any questions?
03:29
Juror
Yes. So, it's not opposite day?
03:34
Judge
Son of a bitch.
03:36
George
Kenny, let me take a shot. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defense is wrong. It's not opposite day.
03:49
Judge
George, what are you doing?
03:50
George
I got this. However, opposite day doesn't start in five seconds.
03:59
five four three two one
04:05
Lawyerstein
jinx personal jinx you can't speak till I say your name
04:08
Judge
hey lawyer Steen I will hold you in contempt
04:10
Lawyerstein
double jinx ha ha neither of you can speak till I say your names all right now we're gonna do court my way The lawyer Steenway.
04:22
Lawyerstein
Alright music up. Alright ladies tops off. Alright. And kids I don't know what time it is there but right here it's 420.
04:43
D. Oh, 420. Oh, 420. Oh, 420. Oh, 420.
04:53
Speaker 1
The widest kids you know, coming soon to DVD. Uncensored.