Dysfunctional Family Dinner

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.

1. 00:29

   Karen, honey, how was school today?

2. 00:33

   Fine.

3. 00:33

   Did you have band practice today, or is Mr. Larson still sick?

4. 00:39

   No, he's still sick.

5. 00:52

   I had a funny thing happen today at work.

6. 00:56

   When I left the office, I had trouble unlocking my car.

7. 01:00

   Then I realized I had the wrong set of keys.

8. 01:03

   Did somebody take your keys?

9. 01:04

   Can I finish the story?

10. 01:15

    Turns out that I had accidentally taken Jeff Peabody's keys,

11. 01:19

    and he had taken mine.

12. 01:21

    We really had a long laugh

13. 01:23

    I thought that's who took them

14. 01:25

    Will you ever let me finish a damn story?

15. 01:29

    I just assume that Jeff

16. 01:30

    I would love to finish one damn story

17. 01:32

    Your stories are lame, Dad

18. 01:34

    You don't talk to me like that

19. 01:35

    You don't talk to me like that

20. 01:38

    I am a division manager

21. 01:40

    That is very important

22. 01:41

    Very important

23. 01:43

    You don't talk to me like that

24. 01:45

    People are scared of me

25. 01:47

    Why would anyone be scared of you?

26. 01:48

    I hate you, you big fat turd

27. 02:01

    i

28. 02:09

    I

29. 02:09

    spoke with paula's mother this afternoon so i guess paul is really excited about the

30. 02:15

    sleepover tomorrow night oh shut up you drunken witch did

31. 02:28

    Did you pick up my dry cl-

32. 02:43

    you pick up my dry cleaning it's not

33. 02:45

    ready until thursday i thought you said it'd be ready today no it's going to be ready thursday

34. 02:50

    well you know i have that meeting tomorrow well i'm sorry i wish you weren't a liar

35. 03:00

    I didn't lie I just wish you weren't a liar I wish you wouldn't call me a liar don't raise

36. 03:07

    your voice at me I am NOT raising my voice you do not talk to me honey do

37. 03:18

    am a division manager in charge of 29 people.

38. 03:21

    Shut up, bitch!

39. 03:21

    I drive a Dodge Stratus!

40. 03:47

    Honey,

41. 03:48

    you want to go to

42. 03:48

    pottery class with me this weekend I wish you were dead I'm

43. 04:03

    I'm

44. 04:04

    gonna take the car into the shop

45. 04:05

    tomorrow. You mean your lame Dodge Stratus? You don't talk about my car that way. I drive a Dodge Stratus. Push

46. 04:13

    don't talk about my dog Stratus that way!

47. 04:15

    You do not talk to your father that way!

48. 04:18

    I'm a division manager!

49. 04:19

    I can do 100 push

50. 04:21

    -ups in 20 minutes. This

51. 04:25

    I'm going to Rob's house. I hate you. Both.

52. 04:59

    this

53. 04:59

    chicken is delicious. It's a recipe from Lipton Kappa Soup.