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Another Dysfunctional Family Dinner
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Paul and his wife try to make small talk over a quiet family dinner with their daughter Elizabeth and her visiting friend Tammy, but the girls answer with sullen street slang and threats. Each exchange sends Paul into a red-faced tirade about his status as a division manager, while his wife blames the girls' MTV habit and he bristles at their finger-gun taunts. After the girls storm off, the couple calmly resume eating as if nothing happened and make plans for a night at the movies.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I wish I could take a pipe to your head!
I am in charge of nine people!
They wouldn't talk like rap people if you didn't let them watch the MTV.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:12
Mother ?
Elizabeth, honey.
- 00:28
Mother ?
Elizabeth, honey, how was school today?
- 00:33
Elizabeth ?
I don't know.
- 00:40
Mother
Elizabeth, did you ask Tammy if she wanted to sleep over tonight?
- 00:46
Elizabeth ?
Hey, yo, you want to sleep over tonight?
- 00:48
Tammy ?
Fine with me, yo.
- 00:49
Paul ?
I I ran into Mike Reynolds. ran into Mike Reynolds today at the car wash, and he told me...
- 01:11
Mother ?
Oh, was Kathy there?
- 01:17
Paul ?
Why is it that every time I speak, you feel the need to speak as well?
- 01:22
Mother ?
Honey, I just wanted to...
- 01:22
Paul ?
Why is that?
- 01:23
Mother ?
I just wanted to...
- 01:24
Paul ?
Why is that?
- 01:25
Mother ?
I just...
- 01:25
Paul ?
Why is that? Why is that?
- 01:27
Mother ?
So, Tammy, so tammy did your parents have a good trip to Europe?
- 01:46
Tammy
I don't know. Why don't you ask them?
- 01:54
How's it feel?
- 02:04
Paul ?
How is field hockey practice going, Elizabeth?
- 02:08
Elizabeth
Aight.
- 02:13
Paul ?
I'm sorry?
- 02:15
Elizabeth
I said aight.
- 02:18
Paul ?
I wish you would speak English at the dinner table.
- 02:20
Tammy
I wish I could take a pipe to your head! You know what I'm saying?
- 02:23
Paul
Okay, you know what? No one talks to me like that! Did you hear me? Okay? talks to Paul Emerson like that! I am a division manager, okay? I am in charge of nine People! I TIME STUFF! You don't know me!
- 02:39
Mother ?
Ice- spoke to Uncle Dan today, and he invited us up to the cabin for Thanksgiving.
- 02:58
Paul ?
Oh, that might be nice. What do you think of that, Liz?
- 03:00
Tammy ?
Shut up, witch! Shut up!
- 03:02
Paul
They wouldn't talk like rap people if you didn't let them watch the MTV.
- 03:25
Mother
Paul, that's unfair.
- 03:26
Paul ?
Why do you let them watch the MTV?
- 03:28
Mother
Paul, don't start with me.
- 03:30
Paul ?
You don't start with me. You like it when they talk like rap people.
- 03:33
Pop, pop!
- 03:33
Paul ?
Okay, don't ever shoot a fake gun at me! Do you hear me? I'm Don't pop pop me. I've been sick for it. I've heard too many jokes. No more MTV. I've worked very hard. I am up every morning at 6.45 riding a stationary bicycle! Big time stuff!
- 03:50
What What if if we did a family workshop?
- 04:05
What if I best bust a cap in your ass?
- 04:22
Mother ?
Elizabeth, maybe you and Tammy shouldn't hang out together.
- 04:24
Pop, pop!
- 04:25
Paul ?
Okay, don't! There you go again! Do not shoot. I don't It's a parking Stop talking like a rap person! Stop it! I'm a division manager at a very widely sought-after company. I am a spot for my Mitsubishi Gallant! Let's BIG TIME STUFF!
- 04:51
Elizabeth ?
Yo, let's go, T. We out. We don't need any of this shizzity.
- 04:56
Paul ?
I think it might be nice to go see K-Pax tonight.
- 05:37
Mother ?
Oh, that's a good idea. I'll ask the girls.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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