You're tuned to the good stuff
Dentist in a Box
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I'm not a dentist.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
On Incredible Findings, host Mike Lawson welcomes salesman Tony Bright and a kit that promises to replace trips to the dentist. Mike agrees to demonstrate its tools on himself while Tony keeps the sales patter flowing. As the procedure becomes more alarming, the pair treats each setback as another reason to celebrate the product, then turns to the bargain price and mail-order offer.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Speaker 1
Findings with your host, Mike Lawson.
- 00:04
Mike Lawson
Hey Hey everybody, why am I excited about today's show? Because we've got a brand new product that everyone tells me is super fantastic. So let's stop wasting time and bring out our old friend, Tony Bright.
- 00:21
Tony Bright
Hello Hello Mike.
- 00:27
Mike Lawson
Okay Tony, never mind the small talk. What about this product that's supposed to blow our minds?
- 00:32
Tony Bright
Hold on Mike, first let me ask you a very important question. Do you like going to the dentist?
- 00:38
Mike Lawson
The dentist? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I hate going to the dentist, don't you?
- 00:42
Tony Bright
Well, what if I were to tell you, you never have to go to the dentist again?
- 00:46
Mike Lawson
Wow, never, that's a long time.
- 00:48
Tony Bright
That's right, Mike. Introducing Dentist in a Box.
- 00:53
Mike Lawson
Dentist in a Box? What in the heck is that?
- 00:55
Tony Bright
It's a complete home dental kit from Nubco.
- 00:58
Mike Lawson
Nubco? I've heard of them, they're famous.
- 01:00
Tony Bright
That's right, Mike, they are. Now you can do all your own dental work right at home.
- 01:04
Mike Lawson
Whoa, are you saying no more driving to the dentist, having to look for a parking spot, sitting in that dumb waiting room reading those boring magazines?
- 01:12
Tony Bright
That's right, Mike, right at home!
- 01:14
Mike Lawson
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Tony. How can I do my own dental work? I'm not a dentist.
- 01:21
Tony Bright
You don't have to be, Mike, and that's the beauty of it. Dentist in a Box comes with all the instructions, so anyone can do it. Even you.
- 01:28
Mike Lawson
Hey!
- 01:30
Tony Bright
Do me a favor, Mike. Take a look at these.
- 01:32
Mike Lawson
Holy cow, those are great looking teeth.
- 01:35
Tony Bright
That's right, Mike, but this is how they looked before.
- 01:38
Mike Lawson
Yuck. No offence, Tony, but those were really ugly.
- 01:42
Tony Bright
I know, Mike, exactly. So this weekend, I installed my own kips.
- 01:46
Mike Lawson
Wow,
- 01:47
Tony Bright
aren't they great? Hey, listen, what do you say we try it out?
- 01:52
Mike Lawson
I don't know, should we? Okay.
- 01:57
Tony Bright
Now, Mike, weren't you telling me earlier you had a toothache?
- 02:00
Mike Lawson
Yeah, it's those darn wisdom teeth. Two of them are impacted.
- 02:04
Tony Bright
Well, what do you say we yank those buggers out of
- 02:07
Mike Lawson
there? Maybe you're right, Tony, but I'm a little nervous. I mean, isn't it going to hurt like heck?
- 02:11
Tony Bright
You've got nothing to be nervous about, Mike. Digits in a box comes with laughing gas and Novocaine. The first thing we're going to do is freeze that jaw.
- 02:22
Mike Lawson
Okay.
- 02:22
Tony Bright
Just find a spot in that jaw muscle and let it rip.
- 02:26
Mike Lawson
Hey, this is fun.
- 02:28
Tony Bright
You're doing fine, Mike.
- 02:30
Mike Lawson
Wow, that was super easy.
- 02:32
Tony Bright
Good work, Mike. Now what say we get those nasty old wisdom teeth?
- 02:37
Mike Lawson
Okay. Let me at them.
- 02:39
Tony Bright
Good job. And with Dentists in a Box, you'll learn how to cure gingivitis, plaque buildup, and abscesses. You'll even do your own root canal.
- 02:52
Mike Lawson
I did it.
- 02:53
Tony Bright
Good Good work, Mike. Mike. Hey, and you know, if you can do it, anybody can.
- 03:04
Mike Lawson
Hey. But seriously, Tony, dancing box is great, but how much does it cost?
- 03:15
Tony Bright
Well, Mike, you know, dental school can cost up to $300,000. Then you've got the cost of office rental, all that equipment.
- 03:22
Mike Lawson
Come on, Tony, Tony, what's it gonna cost?
- 03:26
Tony Bright
Mike, I can give you the whole package, the equipment, the instruction book, the instructional video, for $300!
- 03:36
Mike Lawson
$300? You can do better than that, Tony!
- 03:41
Tony Bright
Alright, let me see. Ham out, $200?
- 03:47
Mike Lawson
Well, that's a little better, but we want a real deal, right everybody?
- 03:51
Speaker 2
Yay!
- 03:53
Tony Bright
All right, Mike, you drive our hat back, and what if I were to say to you, three easy payments of $39.95?
- 04:05
Mike Lawson
Hey, if that's you, I like it. So how's the order, Tony?
- 04:09
Speaker 1
Send your check or money order to Dentist in a Box, P.O. Box 788, Postal Station C, Farmington, Illinois, prohibited by law in all states except Arkansas and parts of Hawaii.
- 04:16
Mike Lawson
Well, that's it for our show. Thanks for joining us on Incredible Findings. Thank you, Tony.
- 04:22
Tony Bright
Thank you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
