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Helicopter Wife Cheating
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A television news anchor turns to his helicopter reporter for live coverage of a high-speed police pursuit. The reporter spots his wife’s car and abandons the story to investigate her supposed trip out of town. Attempts to cut away only make his threats more alarming, while a phone call exposes an uncomfortable connection to the studio. After the broadcast takes a disastrous turn, the anchor tries to carry on with a movie review.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Okay, Casey, let's keep the feed going.
Jesus, Karen, if you didn't want the assignment, you should have just said something.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Brian Morales
Good evening, everyone. I'm Brian Morales. We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you some breaking news. A bank heist in the downtown area has gone horribly wrong, resulting in a shootout with police officers in broad daylight. We go now live to Robert Harris with our Eye in the Sky Chopper 3. Robert, what can you see?
- 00:24
Speaker 1
Well, as you can see below me, the suspects fled the scene in a white Ford Taurus, and they are moving recklessly fast. I mean, you just have to hope to God that they don't hit one of these other motorists down there.
- 00:38
Brian Morales
Robert, about how fast do you think the car is going?
- 00:42
Speaker 1
Extremely fast, Brian. I'd say in excess of 80 miles an hour. I mean, I can really see by the way that they're swerving in and out of the... What the... That's Meredith's car.
- 00:55
Brian Morales
Um, Robert, what's going on with the pursuit there?
- 00:58
Speaker 1
She said she was going out of town for her grandmother's birthday.
- 01:01
Brian Morales
Robert the car so
- 01:06
Speaker 1
I should have known. I should have known.
- 01:11
Brian Morales
what's up with the pursuit Robert
- 01:12
Speaker 1
nothing changes once a cheater always a cheater how could I have been so stupid
- 01:19
Brian Morales
okay Robert we're just gonna have to switch to another feed now
- 01:23
Speaker 1
no no no no no no no I want all the people at home to hear what a lowlife gutter whore sounds like I'm calling her
- 01:31
Brian Morales
okay Casey let's cut the feed
- 01:32
Speaker 1
you kill that feed and I'll crash this helicopter straight into the newsroom you know me Brian you know I Oh, I'll do it!
- 01:41
Brian Morales
Okay, Casey, let's keep the feed going. Let's keep the feed on.
- 01:50
Speaker 1
Come on, Meredith, pick up the phone. Pick it up.
- 01:56
Speaker 2
Hello?
- 01:56
Speaker 1
How's it going, bitch?
- 01:58
Speaker 2
What?
- 01:58
Speaker 1
I said, hey, how's it going?
- 02:01
Speaker 2
Oh, pretty good. Pretty good.
- 02:04
Speaker 1
How's grandma?
- 02:05
Speaker 2
and more. she's fine. You know grandma.
- 02:10
Speaker 1
Put her on for me.
- 02:12
Speaker 2
What?
- 02:13
Speaker 1
I said put her on.
- 02:16
Speaker 2
Oh, you're breaking up. You know what? I gotta go. Grandma's about to blow out her candles.
- 02:22
Speaker 1
Meredith, I love you.
- 02:27
Speaker 2
Okay now. Gotta run.
- 02:29
Speaker 1
I said, I love you.
- 02:35
Speaker 2
Thanks. Bye.
- 02:45
Speaker 1
Well, Seven years, four months, and 22 days of not drinking down the hatch. Cheers, Meredith.
- 02:54
Brian Morales
Hey, Robert, maybe we should just take a breath here and let's bring the chopper down and call it a day, okay, buddy?
- 03:02
Speaker 1
Oh, I'll bring the chopper down, all right. I'll bring it down right on top of her fat, cheating face.
- 03:09
Brian Morales
Robert. Oh, Meredith... Meredith, now is not a good time to be calling. Yeah, no s**t he suspects something. He's watching you. No, I mean he's working right now and he's watching you.
- 03:29
Brian Morales
No, don't come here. Meredith, do not come here. Don't leave him here.
- 03:33
Speaker 1
So long, baby. Till death do us part, right?
- 03:37
Brian Morales
Casey, cut the feed. Just cut the damn feed, okay?
- 03:39
Speaker 1
Ready for your close-up scan?
- 03:41
Brian Morales
Meredith, get out of the car.
- 03:42
Speaker 1
Get ready to chase Blade. In
- 04:00
Brian Morales
In other other news, let's go now live to Karen Atwater with this week's movie review.
- 04:09
Karen Atwater
Thanks, Brian. The Invisible Dog 2 is a delightful film that will have you and your young pups begging for more. I give this happy tale to Paws Up. Woof, woof, you'll say as you roll over at this fetching arf-venture that's sure to win Best in Show. You won't want to give this movie the doggy door. No, no, you'll want to sit, stay, and watch it over and over again. Bow, wow!
- 04:37
Brian Morales
Jesus, Karen, if you didn't want the assignment, you should have just said something.
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