Shock Therapy in a Box

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01

   and now it's time for incredible findings with your host mike lawson

2. 00:06
   

   Mike Lawson

   hey Hey, everybody boy have we got a show for you today we're going to be introducing a brand new product never before seen on tv they wouldn't even let me see it those bums well i don't know about you but the suspense is killing me so let's bring out your friend in mind tony bright okay

3. 00:33
   

   Tony Bright

   hello mike

4. 00:35
   

   Mike Lawson

   okay tony you got me so excited i couldn't sleep a wink last night If I don't see this brand-new product of yours pretty soon, I'm going to bust.

5. 00:45
   

   Tony Bright

   Not so fast, Mike. First, I've got a question for you.

6. 00:48
   

   Mike Lawson

   Darn you, Tony. You always do this to me. All right, what is it this time?

7. 00:53
   

   Tony Bright

   Mike, do you ever get depressed?

8. 00:55
   

   Mike Lawson

   Depressed? Well, yeah. I have severe bouts of depression. Don't you?

9. 01:00
   

   Tony Bright

   Mike, do you know that if you were to buy every single self-help book on the market, it would cost you over $70,000 just to get rid of that annoying depression?

10. 01:11
    

    Mike Lawson

    I think I own most of those

11. 01:13
    

    Tony Bright

    yeah well you can say goodbye to my

12. 01:15
    

    Mike Lawson

    Tony what are you doing

13. 01:17
    

    Mike Lawson

    well he's finally lost it folks

14. 01:23
    

    Tony Bright

    but I found a sensible and inexpensive way of curing the depression of yours Mike introducing the all-new shock treatment in a box

15. 01:35
    

    Mike Lawson

    shock treatment in a box sounds too good to be true tony

16. 01:42
    

    Tony Bright

    believe it mike it's the home shock treatment system from nubco

17. 01:45
    

    Mike Lawson

    nubco okay now you've got my attention

18. 01:48
    

    Tony Bright

    mike now you can give yourself professional shock treatments just like you get in those expensive mental institutions except right in your own home

19. 01:58
    

    Mike Lawson

    whoa is that a mahogany finish

20. 02:00
    

    Tony Bright

    you bet mike

21. 02:01
    

    Mike Lawson

    that would look great in my living room

22. 02:03
    

    Tony Bright

    and for you folks on the go this baby will store on any airplane seat

23. 02:06
    

    Mike Lawson

    wait wait a second wait Wait a second, Tony. We can't give ourselves shock treatments. We're not psychiatrists.

24. 02:15
    

    Tony Bright

    You don't have to be a psychiatrist, Mike. Shock treatment in a box comes with its own set of instructions.

25. 02:22
    

    Mike Lawson

    Should have known. Those Nubco guys don't miss a trick.

26. 02:27
    

    Tony Bright

    Mike, what do you say we try it out?

27. 02:29
    

    Mike Lawson

    Well, I have been feeling pretty bummed out lately. What do you say? Should we try it? OK.

28. 02:36
    

    Tony Bright

    All right, Mike, I'm just going to switch this baby on.

29. 02:39
    

    Mike Lawson

    Wow, space age.

30. 02:41
    

    Tony Bright

    That's right. Just apply some of this petroleum jelly to your temples, Mike.

31. 02:45
    

    Mike Lawson

    And the jelly is included, too?

32. 02:47
    

    Tony Bright

    You bet, Mike! All right, Mike, are you ready to kiss those blues goodbye?

33. 02:53
    

    Mike Lawson

    Let her rip.

34. 02:54
    

    Tony Bright

    There you go, Mike.

35. 02:55
    

    Mike Lawson

    OK, here goes nothing.

36. 02:57
    

    Tony Bright

    The shock treatment in a box keep comes with its own patented Navco shock converter, capable of generating up to 4,500 volts of electricity. It also comes with two industrial-strength shock pedals, an 8-ounce jar of petroleum jelly, a three-page owner's manual and a car battery adapter for all you campers!

37. 03:15
    

    Tony Bright

    What do You look about done you mean, Mike? How do you feel, Mike?

38. 03:28
    

    Mike Lawson

    Copy.

39. 03:30
    

    Tony Bright

    And that's not even the best part, Mike, because the entire short treatment in a box kit can be yours for just $399.95!

40. 03:40
    

    Mike Lawson

    But wait a second, Tony. You can do better than that.

41. 03:47
    

    Tony Bright

    all right all right let me see how about 249.95 mike that's a savings of 150 dollars

42. 04:01
    

    Mike Lawson

    i'm gonna go to bed

43. 04:02
    

    Tony Bright

    yeah well it looks like he's driving a hard bag and again folks

44. 04:08
    

    Tony Bright

    mike what if i were to say to you three easy payments of 49.95

45. 04:19
    

    Mike Lawson

    buttered muffins

46. 04:23
    

    Tony Bright

    right well uh let's show them how to order then eh

47. 04:25

    send your check or money order to shock treatment in a box p.o box 788 farmington illinois master card of peace accepted no cods please prohibited by law in all states except vermont

48. 04:33
    

    Tony Bright

    join us next week on incredible findings

49. 04:35
    

    Mike Lawson

    you're gonna come and get you bastard bastard.

50. 04:39
    

    Tony Bright

    Good night, folks.