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Man Milk
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Tim and Eric are running out of time to find holiday gifts for their friends. After dismissing a free hug, Tim proposes bottling the milk Eric has begun producing. Eric worries that he can only fill two bottles for their ten friends, until Tim reveals that he has started lactating too. Once they have inspected Tim’s supply, Eric calls on his visiting son Coy to help bottle and deliver it. Coy stays behind the Christmas tree, apparently eating Eric’s lasagna, while Eric tries to coax him out and Tim returns their attention to the milk.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It's not a joke. It's not a game. Wise up.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Adult Swim released this segment online as “Holiday Gifts.” It comes from “Man Milk,” the show’s extended, 22-minute Christmas episode.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:08
Tim
Hey,
- 00:10
Eric
Hey.
- 00:10
Tim
What the hell are we gonna get our friends for the holidays this year? It's only a couple days away.
- 00:14
Eric
I've been thinking about that.
- 00:15
Eric
I got it. A Tim and Eric holiday hug. Free of charge.
- 00:20
Tim
It's the worst idea I've ever heard.
- 00:22
Eric
I'm sorry.
- 00:23
Tim
It's not a joke. It's not a game. Wise up.
- 00:26
Tim
I have an idea. We could take the milk that you're getting from your tit there and we could bottle it and give that as a gift for free.
- 00:31
Eric
I like that.
- 00:32
Tim
Good.
- 00:34
Eric
One issue, though, is I think my tits can only produce about two bottles of milk, and we have maybe ten friends.
- 00:41
Tim
I got some breaking news for you, friend. I just started lactating.
- 00:44
Eric
You did not.
- 00:45
Tim
Mm-hmm. Come and check it out.
- 00:47
Eric
Let me take a look at these tits here. They're nice and swollen.
- 00:52
Tim
Mm-hmm.
- 00:53
Tim
Ooh, ow, ow.
- 00:54
Eric
Ooh, that was so much stuff.
- 00:55
Eric
Let me pick this scab up here. Oh, there it is.
- 00:58
Tim
Yeah.
- 00:59
Yeah.
- 01:01
Tim
You know, if we're going to bottle and deliver all this milk, we're going to need some help.
- 01:04
Eric
You know what? My son Koi's in town. He can help.
- 01:07
Tim
Koi's back from school?
- 01:08
Eric
He's right over here.
- 01:09
Tim
Koi, come out. Koi!
- 01:11
Eric
Hey, Koi, come out and kiss Uncle Tim.
- 01:14
Eric
Koi, come on out.
- 01:15
Tim
Come on out here, Koi.
- 01:16
Eric
Come say hi to Uncle Tim. I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on.
- 01:19
Tim
Koi, I hope you didn't get into my lasagna.
- 01:21
Eric
What are you eating there?
- 01:22
Eric
What's that in your mouth, Koi?
- 01:22
Eric
I'm sorry. That's your lasagna. I'm really sorry.
- 01:25
Eric
Koi, don't you want to help us bottle and deliver some milk?
- 01:27
Eric
Koi! Get out from the tree!
- 01:29
Tim
He's a cute boy.
- 01:30
Eric
He's a boy.
- 01:32
Tim
Oh, yeah.
- 01:33
Eric
It's a geyser.
- 01:34
Tim
Oh, there she goes.
- 01:36
Eric
Ooh, old faithful.
- 01:38
Tim
It's so good.
- 01:38
Good man.
- 01:39
Eric
All right, let's get this bottled.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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