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Hot Dog Car
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A hot dog-shaped car smashes into a clothing store, leaving the shoppers searching for its driver. A man wearing a matching costume insists on joining the investigation and invents increasingly implausible ways to avoid responsibility. He redirects suspicion toward Donald’s red-and-yellow outfit, proposes an inappropriate punishment, and collects suits while lecturing the crowd about their phones. The arriving security guard brings his attempted escape to a head.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 7
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It could literally be any one of us.
We're all trying to find the guy who did this!
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Customer
Is everyone okay?
- 00:04
Customer
What happened? Did anyone see?
- 00:06
Customer
Someone drove a hot dog-shaped car through the window. Driver's gone.
- 00:10
Customer
Somebody call the cops.
- 00:11
Customer
We need to find that driver. They could have killed someone.
- 00:14
Customer
Whose car is this?
- 00:16
Hot Dog
Yeah, come on. Whoever did this, just confess. We promise we won't be mad.
- 00:24
What?
- 00:25
Hot Dog
Well, close our eyes. Just take your car and get out of here.
- 00:30
Customer
Sir, that's clearly your car.
- 00:32
Hot Dog
Wrong.
- 00:32
Customer
Someone call the police.
- 00:34
Hot Dog
Yeah, that's one idea. or we could work as a team, find out whoever did this and punish him ourselves. Maybe take his bare butt out of his costume and spank him. Maybe you could do it, sir.
- 00:44
Customer
Not gonna happen.
- 00:45
Hot Dog
Okay, you.
- 00:46
Customer
No.
- 00:47
Hot Dog
Well, one of us is gonna have to do it.
- 00:49
Customer
No one's getting spanked.
- 00:50
Hot Dog
You know what's driving me nuts? It could literally be any one of us.
- 00:56
Ooh.
- 00:56
Customer
No, it couldn't. You're dressed like a hot dog.
- 00:59
Hot Dog
So is that guy.
- 01:02
Donald
Oh, no.
- 01:03
Customer
No. Donald might look like a hot dog, but you're wearing an actual hot dog costume.
- 01:08
Hot Dog
You know, I don't have to sit here and be insulted like this. I'm just gonna take as many suits as I can grab, get in that random hot dog car,
- 01:18
random,
- 01:20
Hot Dog
and drive back to Wiener Hall.
- 01:23
Security Guard
Oh my God. What happened here?
- 01:25
Hot Dog
Yeah. We're all trying to find the guy who did this and give him a spanking.
- 01:29
Security Guard
It's obviously this guy, right?
- 01:31
Yes. Yes.
- 01:31
Hot Dog
I have a name.
- 01:34
Security Guard
What's your name?
- 01:37
Hot Dog
Perfect. We've been sitting here talking all day and you all never bothered to learn my name.
- 01:45
Hot Dog
We're so buried in our phones. Instead of giving someone a real smile, we send an emoji. I mean, we don't even look at porn on our computer anymore.
- 02:02
Hot Dog
We look at it on our phone? Huh. Pornhub, Xtube. I know these names better than I know my own grandmothers. YouPorn, XXN, RedTube, Panty Jobs, Homegrown, Simpson stuff. All great, but I ask you this. If I was a big old guy with a big burly white beard, would you still be yelling at me?
- 02:35
Hot Dog
Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls and back? Think about that for one second.
- 02:45
Customer who volunteers
I guess if nobody wants this car, I'll take it.
- 02:50
Security Guard
Let's get him.
- 02:51
Hot Dog
Yeah, right, you piece of dog shit! You're fucking dog shit!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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