You're tuned to the good stuff
St. Joseph's Christmas Mass Spectacular
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A mock promo invites viewers to St. Joseph's Church for a one-night Christmas service, introducing its "stars" like a trailer: a pastor who sings at ever-changing speeds, an organist who takes forever to find her first chord, a sweaty-handed greeter, a determined teen soloist, two very different scripture readers and a new atheist in the pews. The pitch promises a soft-spoken sermon, a crowd of parishioners and all forty-four verses of a carol, and ends by showing the pastor's tiny house attached to the church.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 7
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Is this song still about Jesus?
And back then, they didn't have MapQuest.
It's church, but on a Thursday!
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Part of the December 13, 2014 episode (S40E9) hosted by Martin Freeman with musical guest Charli XCX.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
It's Christmas, and you know what that means. It's time for your annual trip to church with your parents. And you're in luck, because this year, St. Joseph's Church is going full throttle with our one-night-only Christmas Mass Spectacular. We've got appearances by all your church favorites, like Devin, the newly atheist teen who's making a point of not saying the prayers. Pastor Pat, who sings everything at constantly changing speeds.
- 00:27
Pastor Pat
All glory and honor is yours, Almighty Father. forever and ever.
- 00:31
And Mr. Drubbler, who's eager to say peace be with you, while holding out the sweatiest hand you've ever seen. Still not sold? Well, we got organist Linda Dejo. Watch her take 20 minutes to arrange her sheet music and still start on the wrong chord.
- 00:58
Linda Tayhoe
Excuse me, just pull yourself together
- 01:02
Plus teen soloist Bethany Opsal, who's up there in the choir trying hard as heck.
- 01:08
Bethany Opsal
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
- 01:18
Yeah, and don't miss St. Joseph's back-to-back liturgical readers, 12-year-old Ryan Welty, who really doesn't want to be doing this.
- 01:26
Ryan Welty
And lo the angel, Gabriel appeared to Mary and proclaimed her the goodness of God.
- 01:31
And 44-year-old Colleen Chapin who really, really does
- 01:36
Colleen Chapin
A reading from Paul to the Corinthians
- 01:44
Cake! Eat! Looking for even more fun check out the sermon where you'll hear the softest pastor joke followed by the softest permission or laugh the wise men had to follow the North Star for three three weeks. And back then, they didn't have MapQuest. And who's that over there? It's rows and rows of little Filipino ladies you've never seen before. But they must live nearby because this is their church. Plus, hear all 44 verses of O Come All Ye Faithful. We're not skipping the Latin verses this mass.
- 02:23
Devin
Is this song still about Jesus?
- 02:31
and at the end of the service day and have your mind blown by watching pastor pat walk to his house it's connected to the church try and catch a quick glimpse inside whoa it's just a little table in there so this christmas come to saint joseph's christmas mass spectacular it's church but on a thursday
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Saturday Night Live.
