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ButterBar
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At a fast-food counter, a clerk who has been told to unload boxes and fix the drive-thru speaker pulls his coworker aside to say the chain's new ButterBar, a stick of butter in a grip sleeve, feels morally wrong to sell. His coworker brushes it off as none of their business, and then a little boy walks up with his money and asks for one. The clerks half-heartedly question the kid, serve him, and later haggle over a second ButterBar, until he is flat on the floor clutching his chest. When the manager storms in demanding to know who fed a child butter, the pair can only blame corporate, and are scolded and sent back to the broken drive-thru.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Comes with the easy-to-grip butter sleeve for when you want the butter bar on the go.
I feel like there's something morally wrong about selling butter to people to eat.
I could feel my heart pounding in my little ears.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Dave
Look, Kenny, I'm gonna need you to unload all those boxes we got from headquarters this morning. Then after that, I want you to check out the speaker for the drive-thru. I think it's shorted out again.
- 00:17
Kenny
Hey Dave, do you want to come here for a second?
- 00:19
Dave
Yeah.
- 00:19
Kenny
Are... Are we really selling these?
- 00:25
Dave
Yeah, it's the new product.
- 00:26
Kenny
Yeah, I know. It's just that this... This is just a stick of butter.
- 00:33
Dave
Yeah, it's a ButterBar.
- 00:35
Kenny
No, I know. I saw the commercial last night. I just... I thought there was gonna be more to it than this.
- 00:41
Dave
It's not just a stick of butter. Comes with the easy-to-grip butter sleeve for when you want the ButterBar on the go.
- 00:47
Kenny
No, I know. I saw the commercial. I just... I don't know. I feel like there's something morally wrong about selling butter to people to eat.
- 00:56
Dave
Do you think you're being a little overdramatic?
- 00:58
Kenny
No, I really don't.
- 01:01
Dave
People buy butter all the time.
- 01:02
Kenny
Yeah, not to just eat by itself.
- 01:05
Dave
It's not our job to police people's diets. People do what they want to do.
- 01:09
Kenny
I guess.
- 01:10
Speaker 1
Excuse me. Can I have a ButterBar, please?
- 01:14
Kenny
What?
- 01:15
Speaker 1
Can I have a ButterBar?
- 01:16
Kenny
Kid, are you sure you want a ButterBar?
- 01:33
Kenny
Is that good?
- 01:36
Speaker 1
It's okay.
- 01:39
Kenny
Look, man, I don't think we should be selling these things.
- 01:42
Dave
It's not my call. We're a franchise.
- 01:44
Kenny
Can't we just say that they're not selling well? That people don't want to eat ButterBars because of how unhealthy they are?
- 01:49
Speaker 1
Is this enough for one more ButterBar?
- 01:52
Kenny
You want another ButterBar? Um... uh... Ah, no. Geez, kid, sorry. You're about 20 cents short.
- 02:06
Speaker 1
Oh.
- 02:35
Speaker 1
My heart.
- 02:37
Kenny
Oh, my God. I think he's having a little heart attack.
- 02:39
Speaker 1
I need to lie down. Oh. It feels like an elephant is standing on my chest.
- 02:47
Kenny
Should we call somebody?
- 02:49
Dave
Should we get him off the premises?
- 02:50
Speaker 1
Oh, God. I could feel my heart pounding in my little ears. I smell burnt toast.
- 02:58
Speaker 2
Oh. Something's wrong with that drive-thru. Oh, hell no. What happened to him?
- 03:05
Kenny
He ate two of the ButterBars.
- 03:07
Speaker 2
You feeding this kid butter?
- 03:08
Kenny
Well, corporate said...
- 03:09
Speaker 2
Oh, no, no, no, no. Y'all need to be ashamed of yourself.
- 03:13
Dave
Sorry.
- 03:13
Speaker 2
Go out there and fix that damn drive-thru. And get this kid some water and an aspirin. Got to do every... myself. Next in line.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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