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Office Insubordination

The Whitest Kids U'Know2008Season 2Episode 9
The Whitest Kids U'KnowWKUK
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A new hire takes his coworker's advice on handling their bombastic boss and only digs himself deeper.

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Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Office manager Mr. Williams tears into new employee Trumeter over a late SLX report, branding him a bottleneck in the company machine. Once the boss storms out, coworker Kregger insists the old man secretly loves being pushed around and talks Trumeter into crouching behind him so Kregger can tip him over. Instead Kregger gets his own lecture about faulty organ keys and hippie music, then Trumeter is caught on his hands and knees and chewed out while Kregger wins the boss over with a gag about a booger on his tie. Kregger next emails the boss from Trumeter's account to lure him back, and when Mr. Williams ends up on the floor he takes it as a formal challenge, rips off his sleeves and squares up to Trumeter, until Mr. Brown walks in with news of cocoa spilled on the mail and the boss goes over Kregger's back again, this time laughing that his favourites are a couple of jokers.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 4

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Trumeter, you are a bottlenecker!

I don't want to hear Blues Traveler. I hate hippie music.

Soggy mail is not how we run the machine!

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Each office worker is addressed by the surname of the cast member playing him: Timmy Williams as Mr. Williams, Darren Trumeter as Trumeter, Zach Cregger as Kregger and Sam Brown as Mr. Brown.

ScriptEnglish · 66 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:01

    Mr. Williams

    Trumeter.

  2. 00:02

    Trumeter

    Yes, sir?

  3. 00:02

    Mr. Williams

    I need that SLX report.

  4. 00:04

    Trumeter

    SLX, uh, you know, I don't have it, sir.

  5. 00:06

    Mr. Williams

    Come again, Trumeter?

  6. 00:07

    Trumeter

    Well, the numbers from the Foster's account haven't come back, and Wendy's out-

  7. 00:10

    Mr. Williams

    Trumeter, are you familiar with the term bottlenecking?

  8. 00:13

    Trumeter

    Yes, sir, I am.

  9. 00:14

    Mr. Williams

    Bottlenecking is when the flow of productivity is halted by a person, or a unit, or a cog in a machine like yourself that is unable to continue the flow at the rate of the hole. Do you understand that, Trumeter?

  10. 00:24

    Trumeter

    I understand that, sir.

  11. 00:25

    Mr. Williams ?

    Trumeter, you are a bottlenecker! The mechanism is bottlenecked by you, sir!

  12. 00:30

    Trumeter

    As soon as I get the numbers back, I'll have it to you. As soon as possible.

  13. 00:33

    Mr. Williams ?

    As soon as possible.

  14. 00:34

    Trumeter ?

    As soon as possible.

  15. 00:36

    Mr. Williams

    Why are you shaking your head? Are you lying to me? Answer me, Cog!

  16. 00:39

    Trumeter ?

    As soon as possible.

  17. 00:41

    Mr. Williams ?

    As soon as possible. Good day.

  18. 00:49

    Kregger

    Dude, you're a p-

  19. 00:50

    Trumeter

    What are you doing? I was in enough trouble as it was.

  20. 00:53

    Kregger

    Whatever.

  21. 00:54

    Trumeter

    It's my first week on the job. I'm not going to push over the boss while I'm getting chewed out.

  22. 00:58

    Kregger

    Dude, let me explain something to you. He likes that kind of s**t. That's his thing. Believe me, he responds to it. Alright, check this out. I didn't do my report either. In any second, he's gonna come in here, he's gonna give me the same spiel he just gave you. When he does, I need you to do me a solid, get down on your hands and knees, and help me tip our boss over.

  23. 01:18

    Trumeter

    Dude, no.

  24. 01:19

    Kregger

    Dude, do me a solid.

  25. 01:20

    Trumeter

    I don't feel comfortable with this.

  26. 01:22

    Kregger

    Don't you f**k me on this!

  27. 01:25

    Mr. Williams

    Craigor!

  28. 01:25

    Kregger

    Yeah, Mr. Williams.

  29. 01:27

    Mr. Williams

    How many times am I gonna have to ask you for your SLX report?

  30. 01:31

    Kregger

    Uh, yeah, Mr. Williams, it's like Trumeter said, the Wendy's sick. I can't...

  31. 01:34

    Mr. Williams

    I do not pay you to bottleneck, Kregger. I pay you to be a working part in a machine. Okay, now, if I have a pipe organ and one of the keys is faulty, Kregger, and I'm trying to play Mozart on it, it's gonna come out sounding like Blues Traveler. And I don't want to hear Blues Traveler. I hate hippie music. Do you understand that? Do you catch my drift, man?

  32. 01:54

    Kregger

    Yes, absolutely, Mr. Williams.

  33. 01:55

    Mr. Williams

    Okay, well, you're a good kid, Krager. I'm glad we have this talk. Trumeter!

  34. 02:00

    Trumeter

    Oh, God, no.

  35. 02:02

    Mr. Williams

    What in are you doing on the ground?

  36. 02:04

    Trumeter

    I was just looking for one of my...

  37. 02:06

    Mr. Williams

    Not five minutes ago, I told you to have your report on my desk, and here I find you on your hands and knees, out like some sort of slacker barnyard animal!

  38. 02:14

    Trumeter

    I'm really sorry, sir.

  39. 02:14

    Mr. Williams

    Trumeter, you are the most worthless piece of human garbage I've ever...

  40. 02:18

    Kregger

    Mr. Williams!

  41. 02:18

    Mr. Williams

    Yes, Krager, what is it?

  42. 02:19

    Kregger

    You got a booger on your tie.

  43. 02:20

    Mr. Williams

    A booger on... Oh! You! You got...

  44. 02:23

    Kregger ?

    I thought there was a booger in you.

  45. 02:25

    Mr. Williams

    You know, you're all right. You get back to work!

  46. 02:31

    Trumeter

    Oh, God, I'm going to get fired.

  47. 02:33

    Kregger

    No, man, you just got to own it. Did you see how I owned him with the tie thing? He was with me, I them right back, and he respected me for it, right?

  48. 02:43

    Trumeter

    Yeah.

  49. 02:43

    Kregger

    That's how you got to handle him. Okay, I'm going to do you a solid. I'm going to send an email from your account. I'm going to let him know that your SLX report is done and ready to be picked up. When he comes in here, I'm going to get on my knees, you shove them over, everything's going to be copacetic.

  50. 02:55

    Trumeter

    No, dude, don't-

  51. 02:56

    Kregger

    Send.

  52. 02:57

    Mr. Williams

    Glad to hear you're on the trolley, Trumeter. Where's that SLX report?

  53. 03:00

    Trumeter

    Uh, you know, sir, the thing about-

  54. 03:01

    Mr. Williams

    Well, hand it over, Trumeter!

  55. 03:02

    Trumeter

    Well, I, I, just give me a moment.

  56. 03:05

    Mr. Williams

    I don't have a moment! I have a company to run! What?

  57. 03:08

    Kregger ?

    Hello.

  58. 03:09

    Trumeter

    Oh, God. Sir.

  59. 03:13

    Mr. Williams

    Well, Trumeter, it appears that wordplay can no longer properly express your insubordination, and you have decided that it has come to arms. Be that as it may, I will have you know that I am very highly trained in the combative arts. I have a sensei, and therefore, I accept your challenge. I'm gonna f**k.

  60. 03:35

    Trumeter

    Sir? No, uh, Kreger?

  61. 03:37

    Kregger

    Yeah, I'm on the phone.

  62. 03:38

    Mr. Williams ?

    Let's go, Daddy.

  63. 03:40

    Mr. Brown

    Mr. Williams?

  64. 03:41

    Mr. Williams

    Yes, what is it, Mr. Brown? I am very busy here!

  65. 03:44

    Mr. Brown

    Well, yeah, uh, I spilled a bunch of hot cocoa on your mail.

  66. 03:48

    Mr. Williams

    Cocoa on the mail? Soppy mail? Soggy mail is not how we run the machine! are You guys a couple of jokers because you know i love that you get back to work

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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