You're tuned to the good stuff
Slow Jerk
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In the office break room, Trevor tries to talk Darren into going to a coworker's housewarming party, but when he mentions a woman from the office Christmas party, Darren answers with a crude jerking-off gesture performed in extreme slow motion. Trevor explains that the gesture is supposed to be quick and then stop, yet Darren only drags it out further once Sam joins them, adding unblinking eye contact and an exaggerated finish. Disgusted, the two coworkers storm off shouting for the boss while Darren calmly returns to his drink.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
That's not how you do that. You're doing it too slow.
And stop making eye contact. That's creepy, too.
Dude, that's disgusting! You ruined my day! I'm telling the boss!
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Sam Brown
Writer
Zach Cregger
Writer
Darren Trumeter
Writer
Timmy Williams
Writer
Trevor Moore
Director
Zach Cregger
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Wikipedia's episode list titles this sketch "Slow Jerkin'".
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:09
Trevor Moore
hey darren how's it going
- 00:11
Darren Trumeter
pretty good really good actually
- 00:13
Trevor Moore
yeah
- 00:13
Darren Trumeter
yeah yeah i just got this new car wax for my car it's amazing
- 00:16
Trevor Moore
oh that's really cool
- 00:17
Darren Trumeter
yeah it's like so shiny like the reflection
- 00:20
Trevor Moore
i'm just joking that's not really cool that's boring
- 00:23
Trevor Moore
um so do you want to go to this party we're going to later
- 00:26
Darren Trumeter
uh party
- 00:27
Trevor Moore
yeah it's gonna be a lot of fun sarah from accounting she's got this new loft and she's having a housewarming party it's gonna be great
- 00:32
Darren Trumeter
okay well um uh who's all going
- 00:34
Trevor Moore
uh bill bill from accounting he's also gonna be going uh rick from the seventh floor
- 00:38
Trevor Moore
hey Hey, remember that girl from the office Christmas party? She's going to be going to it. And it's, um, you should, uh,
- 00:45
Trevor Moore
what?
- 00:47
Trevor Moore
Dude. OK, that's, OK, I get it. That's gross, though.
- 00:52
Trevor Moore
That's not how you do that. That's not how you do that. You're doing it too slow. Stop.
- 00:56
Trevor Moore
It's just, it's real fast, and then you stop, OK?
- 00:59
Trevor Moore
That's disturbing. I can visually see.
- 01:02
Sam Brown
What's up, man?
- 01:03
Sam Brown
Dude, that's, uh, dude, that's not how you do that gesture, Okay, you just do it fast and stop. That's it.
- 01:11
Trevor Moore
Dude. You're grossing. You're grossing me out.
- 01:13
Trevor Moore
Okay, and stop making eye contact That's creepy, too
- 01:15
Sam Brown
Dude, that is not cool. You're crossing a line.
- 01:18
Sam Brown
You never do that. You don't do that
- 01:20
Trevor Moore
You're putting an image that I don't want in my head right now
- 01:22
Sam Brown
Stop, that's not how you do it.
- 01:23
Trevor Moore
Dude, no, no!
- 01:24
Sam Brown
You never make them touch man. That's not cool.
- 01:27
Trevor Moore
That's not how you do it.
- 01:28
Sam Brown
Dude, what are you?
- 01:29
Trevor Moore
Don't finish. You never finish
- 01:31
Trevor Moore
Dude, that's disgusting. You ruined my day. I'm telling the boss
- 01:34
Boss! BOSS! Boss!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
