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Please Don't Destroy - Dawg Food
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
In their cramped SNL office, John Higgins and Martin Herlihy tell Ben Marshall they have stopped cooking thanks to Dawg Food, a no-prep meal plan whose bag looks suspiciously like kibble. They eat it from steel bowls with their names on them, insist the spelling is what makes it different, and argue that a food should not be off limits just because an animal eats it too. Ben's objections escalate when an actual dog trots in to share Martin's bowl, John deflects the criticism into a muddled grievance about a romance that never happened, and the pair offer to upgrade to the wet variety, with ketchup. A closing memorial card suggests John did not survive the diet.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
So now we can't eat stuff just because an animal also eats it?
Don't eat wet dog food.
It's not just wet dog food. I'm putting ketchup on it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Ben Marshall
You know you're gonna order food,
- 00:06
John Higgins
you know what dude, I'm actually I'm actually okay. I'm doing this meal service thing.
- 00:10
Ben Marshall
Oh cool Hello fresh.
- 00:12
John Higgins
No, that one was a little tough. I'm on this new one. That's like pretty simple Like you don't have to cook at all.
- 00:17
Ben Marshall
Really?
- 00:17
John Higgins
Yeah,
- 00:18
Ben Marshall
what's it called?
- 00:19
John Higgins
It's a dog food
- 00:24
Ben Marshall
Like, Dog food.
- 00:25
John Higgins
Yeah, man for them dogs You don't want to cook grab your bowl or your dog food and then BAM you got lunch.
- 00:33
Ben Marshall
Oh my god What Mart are you hearing this? You're also doing it?
- 00:39
Martin Herlihy
My new meal prep service.
- 00:40
Ben Marshall
You guys are just eating dog food?
- 00:42
Martin Herlihy
It's all we eat.
- 00:42
John Higgins
Yeah, sometimes I order a salad, but when I'm being bad...
- 00:45
Ben Marshall
Oh, come on, you.
- 00:48
Ben Marshall
Does it taste good?
- 00:49
Martin Herlihy
No, not really. It's dog food, man.
- 00:51
Ben Marshall
Guys, you can't be eating dog food.
- 00:53
John Higgins
It's not dog food, it's dog food, which is dog food, but the dog food bag says it's okay.
- 00:58
Ben Marshall
Listen to yourselves. You guys have bowls with your names on them.
- 01:01
Martin Herlihy
Mine was a gift from my girlfriend.
- 01:03
Ben Marshall
She's okay with this.
- 01:04
Martin Herlihy
No, she hates it, dude. Oh, my God.
- 01:06
John Higgins
So now we can't eat stuff just because an animal also eats it?
- 01:10
Martin Herlihy
Like if a pigeon bites my halal food, I just have to, what, throw the whole thing away?
- 01:15
Ben Marshall
Yes!
- 01:16
Oh, my.
- 01:16
Martin Herlihy
I guess we just grew up different.
- 01:18
Ben Marshall
Let me see that. No, dude, what are you...
- 01:21
That dog. That dog. I'm so sorry. Bill!
- 01:27
Ben Marshall
Whose dog is that?
- 01:28
Martin Herlihy
He's just here for dinner.
- 01:29
Ben Marshall
I can't believe this.
- 01:31
John Higgins
What is this little lash out, man? Is this because we hooked up and I never called you?
- 01:35
Ben Marshall
We didn't hook up.
- 01:36
John Higgins
Oh, you know what? That was a dream that I had.
- 01:39
John Higgins
If this is too gross for you, I'll just switch to wet.
- 01:42
Ben Marshall
Don't eat wet dog food.
- 01:44
John Higgins
It's not just wet dog food. I'm putting ketchup on it.
- 01:47
Ben Marshall
Get that out of here.
- 01:48
John Higgins
I'm being rude.
- 01:49
Ben Marshall
Oh, my God, dude. No. Dude, don't.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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