Polite War

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Commander Livingston

   All right, men. Here comes the American Army. Let's look sharp. Remember, the first impression is the last thing impression. My God. They haven't even got proper uniforms on. All right. Okay. All right. No guffawing. No guffawing. No guffawing. Whew. Here we go. Oh, I say hello there. Yes, hello. You are the American Army, I presume. Very good. Yes. I am Commander Livingston of His Majesty's Royal Military, and we are here to do battle. Although, I do believe that we did agree upon noon. Is that correct? It's not a problem. It's all right. It's just in the future when you say you're gonna be someplace, it's in everything. Okay, very good, very good. Um, shall we have at it then? All right, would you like to take a few moments to get ready? You're ready now. They're ready now. It's hardly a formation there. All right, all right. No guffawing, I've said this, okay, very good. Um, very well, since we are the assaulting army, you have the privilege of taking the first volley, right? And then we shall return and so on and so forth. So, Godspeed, let's have a good one, and good luck to you. All right, men. Now, let's show them what we Brits are made of. Stand your ground. Got Oh! You've got one! Good shot! Very good shot, actually. That was Timothy. Timothy, he's our maps and navigations expert. We'll be in a pinch without him. Good form. All right? Now, it's our turn to take a volley, so ho, ho. All right, men. Let's get ready. Muskets at the ready. And do me a favor. Let's have a little fun with this. Try and pick the one you think might be their maps and navigations expert, right? All right. Oh, oh, hey, no. Now, you've had your turn. You've just taken two volleys, and we haven't even had one. Now, I know that for a lot of you Americans, this is your first parlay, but there are rules in modern warfare. We're not dumb beasts, right? Now, since you've taken two volleys, we will take two volleys, and then you may return fire. You are, in effect, losing a turn. Right. Now, you know the rules. I've just explained them to you. This battle's barely even started yet, and I'm down to only a handful of men. You're doing very poorly in this war, I might say. Now, we will take three volleys, and I do believe we should be allowed the privilege to move forward five meters because of your willful violation. Oh! Oh! Who took a shot at the CO? You took a shot at the... Reprimand that man! Reprimand that man! I will file a very important...