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Work Pig

The Kids in the Hall 1993 Season 4 Episode 1

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A hyper-driven executive works so hard that when his heart gives out, he simply orders it back to work.

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Community rating

– / 10

The funny people

Meet the cast. 2

Highly quotable.

This place is a morgue. Let's get something happening.

You substandard piece of crap!

Get back to work!

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A frantic executive charges through his office, rattles off an exact schedule to his secretary, and starts the day by drinking coffee straight from the pot. He juggles ringing phones, a stock ticker, a printing calculator and even a receiver mounted on the ceiling, pausing only to make mental notes about improving his life. When his chest pains become a cardiac arrest, he tries a desk-drawer defibrillator, then pulls out his own heart, scolds it and douses it in coffee. When it stops anyway, he orders it back to work, shoves it back into his chest once it starts beating, and returns to the phones as if nothing happened.

ScriptEnglish · 14 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:08
Work Pig
This place is a morgue. Let's get something happening. Listen, I'm going to talk. I need 35 seconds alone. Then I have to make 17 phone calls. Then I require 10 people in my office for 4 minutes. Now, two of them should have 1993 calendars. After that, I'd like 4 pieces of 7-grain toast. What do I want?
00:31
Secretary
You need 35 seconds alone. Then you have to make 17 phone calls. Then you want 10 people in your office for about 4 minutes. Then you need 4 slices of 7-grain toast.
00:39
Work Pig
let's go mental note Mental note. get coffee colored shirts let's get something going yeah Yeah, good morning uh no yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah i got that here just a second okay no no no no you are uh-huh yeah okay you guys yeah okay yeah no no no oh yeah you get it got it good okay yeah but no no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:39
Work Pig
Okay. Baby! Baby! No, no. Family's important. Yeah, whoa, yeah, whoa, yeah, whoa, whoa. Wrong, Don. Don, you're wrong. Don, you're wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, maybe so. Don, you're, you're wrong. Please, put on Ron. Zek. Well, what do you mean Ron's gone? Uh, maybe so. Six, yes, six. It'll be six. What do you mean Ron is gone?
02:07
Work Pig
Oh, Don. Ow! Oh, No, it's just my heart's bugging me. Mental note. Take three-day vacation in June. I'm sorry, what was it you were saying? Just, oh, hold it, hold it. Come on, you bastard. It's just my heart. Come on, you bastard. No, no, no, no, not you. Ow! Ow!
02:50
Work Pig
You You substandard piece of crap! It's There you go, little guy.
03:09
Work Pig
That's better. All right, Don, what's going on? Yeah, what? What?
03:24
Work Pig
That cough is not strong enough. These phones aren't working. Rachel! These phones aren't working! Get someone! Do something! Just...
03:48
Work Pig
Get back to work! That's the Next I'm gonna fry it up in each hand. Does my Heart look like it's in straight?
04:09
Secretary
Looks fine to me.
04:12
Work Pig
I just had a weird experience.
04:14
Secretary
Maybe your blood sugar's low.
04:16
Work Pig
Probably. Probably. Mental gnome. Be a better person. Shoo. Go.
04:27
Work Pig
Okay, Don, what's going on? What do you mean, this is John? John, put on Ron. Put on Don. Come on. Get them on.