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Mrs. Wiggins' Office Christmas Eve Goes Wrong
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Mrs. Wiggins decorates the office and exchanges gifts with Mr. Tudball on Christmas Eve, substituting broccoli for mistletoe. His attempt to share a celebratory drink becomes a lesson in opening and drinking champagne. As she grows tipsy, Wiggins questions his formal manner and reminisces about a deceased pet chipmunk. Tudball’s efforts to restore order become increasingly awkward, and his wife arrives as Wiggins’ clothing mishap makes the scene look especially compromising.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
What is it? Your resignation?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Speaker 1
Thank you.
- 00:10
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Rows of holly, fa la la la la la la la la la la la la.
- 00:16
Mr. Bernie Tudball
And Mrs. of Wiggins.
- 00:19
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Baby Johnny, fa la la la la la la la la la la la la.
- 00:24
Mr. Bernie Tudball
That's very inspiring, just to hear.
- 00:27
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Far gay peril, fa la la la la la la la la la la la.
- 00:33
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Tinseltop.
- 00:34
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
- 00:50
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Hey! Look at that. That look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
- 00:59
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Did you get the present that I left for you on your desk, Mr. Tudball? I hope you like it. It's something that you've wanted ever since I came to work for you.
- 01:10
Mr. Bernie Tudball
What is it? Your resignation?
- 01:11
nation
- 01:11
Mr. Bernie Tudball
now I hope it's another Argyle sock to match the one that you made me last year
- 01:21
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
mr. Todd ball
- 01:27
Mr. Bernie Tudball
now what do you want
- 01:29
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
you forgetting something
- 01:31
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Oh. Oh, well, I can't...
- 01:37
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
It's mistletoe and you know what that means.
- 01:39
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Unfortunately, I do.
- 01:42
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Well, at least... Is it over? We don't need that anymore, so would you... Wait a minute. What kind of mistletoe is that?
- 01:56
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
They were out of mistletoe, so I got broccoli.
- 02:01
Mr. Bernie Tudball
It's an interesting substitute.
- 02:07
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Yes
- 02:09
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Here's your present, it is. Mary X must open it now.
- 02:12
Mr. Bernie Tudball
All right. Okay. Oh.
- 02:18
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
You like it?
- 02:19
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Yeah.
- 02:19
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
I can't paint it myself.
- 02:22
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I can imagine you would. Yeah, that's really gorgeous. Yeah, just put it back into the box. Well, since it is the holiday season, I thought that perhaps that maybe we could just break out a little bit of champagne and have a little drink.
- 02:36
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Champagne? Oh no, that's alcohol. and lips that touch alcohol shall never touch mine
- 02:42
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I'll drink it to that wait a minute come back here oh as I said it is the holiday season this so sit down then we're going to have a drink and have a good time and that's an order
- 02:54
Mr. Bernie Tudball
hang there here's a one glass just pour yourself a drink there my other glass of here made I just, uh, let her, uh, go. Hey, Rudolph. Say, Rudolph, the nantler.
- 03:16
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
The cork is still in the champagne. I'll get it.
- 03:20
Mr. Bernie Tudball
You planning on pouring that over some French fries?
- 03:25
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
No, that would be dumb. Let me just think. I have to get this cork out of here somewhere. Maybe there's a corkscrew around somewhere.
- 03:33
Mr. Bernie Tudball
There is, on your shoulders. And don't use a corkscrew for the champagne. You just get it out like this.
- 03:42
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Wonderful.
- 03:46
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Wonderful way to start the party. Well, there, just to pour a little bit there for you. There we go. And a little bit here. See the date on that?
- 03:57
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Tuesday.
- 03:59
Mr. Bernie Tudball
And to you, just to take a little snort.
- 04:09
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Ollie head. Polly Head, when I say take a snort, I don't mean... I mean to take a snort like this.
- 04:23
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Oh, I could never do that.
- 04:25
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Do what?
- 04:27
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
This. I'm so dizzy. The room is just I feel as if my body has left me
- 04:38
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I'll tell you something that body yours took a cab a long time well Well, Mrs. Wiggins just pour yourself another one there and then you enjoy yourself there and now what's hit you wrong
- 04:57
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
that's another thing why do you always call me Mrs. Wiggins You never call me by my first name You always say, Mrs. Wiggins
- 05:11
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I don't know What is your first name? I'll call you by your first name
- 05:16
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
I'm not going to tell you because you will laugh
- 05:19
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I won't laugh, what is it?
- 05:20
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
You laugh You laugh
- 05:23
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I won't laugh
- 05:24
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
It's Wanda
- 05:29
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Wanda Wiggins. Wanda Wiggins Now, what's wrong?
- 05:45
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
I was just thinking about poor Henry, he used to drink champagne on Christmas, too.
- 05:53
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Is that when you departed the relatives?
- 05:57
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
No, my departed chipmunk. I had him for ten years, and now he's gone.
- 06:04
Mr. Bernie Tudball
You mean that you had a little chipmunk that used to drink champagne?
- 06:09
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Used to tickle his nose. his face now those glassy little bloodshot eyes and the way he used to fall out of his little bed and stagger into the bathroom and get sick and now he's gone
- 06:26
Mr. Bernie Tudball
that's a real shame how did he go
- 06:30
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
like this
- 06:41
Mr. Bernie Tudball
well i'll tell you what just have another drink and we'll uh to finish this.
- 06:45
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Oh, no.
- 06:46
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Hey, for crying out loud, don't you know this is 89 cents a bottle?
- 06:51
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
I know what's on your mind. You just want to get your beautiful secretary drunk so you can take advantage of her. I know you.
- 07:01
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Talk like that, you better get some coffee in for you.
- 07:04
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
No.
- 07:04
Mr. Bernie Tudball
You must be crazy for crying out loudly. Come on.
- 07:06
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
No.
- 07:07
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Go into the office here and talk.
- 07:08
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Leave me alone. Don't you touch me. Leave me alone. I'm going to be sick.
- 07:19
Mr. Bernie Tudball
That's going to be two of us. Listen. Just
- 07:37
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Listen to me when you need to stop running around like that.
- 07:47
Mr. Bernie Tudball
I don't know about to put that thing back on there.
- 07:50
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
Hello, Mrs. Tideball.
- 07:52
Mr. Bernie Tudball
That's very funny. Very funny. Listen. Just to put your clothes back on and we'll pretend like this nightmare never happened and it'll be just our little secret.
- 08:04
Mrs. Wanda Wiggins
It'll be a little secret between the three of us.
- 08:09
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Oh That's no joke. You can imagine what would happen to me if the old b-b-beauty were here. She would be dead.
- 08:19
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Yikes!
- 08:20
Mrs. Tudball
Hey, you hot lips. Let's see you worm your way out of this one in a flash.
- 08:24
Mr. Bernie Tudball
Excuse me, I'm coming through.
- 08:31
Speaker 2
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