Mechanical Bull

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:02
   

   Host

   All right, all right, all right, let's hear it one more time for Alexis!

2. 00:10
   

   Alexis

   Oh my God, that was so crazy!

3. 00:14
   

   Bride

   What's crazy is that I'm getting married in two weeks!

4. 00:18
   

   Girl

   I I wish it was to me. Whoops, I said that out loud. I'll be leaving now.

5. 00:25
   

   Bride

   So OK, bye.

6. 00:27
   

   Bride

   You guys, this is so much fun. Wait, where are Kayla and Delula?

7. 00:32
   

   Alexis

   Oh, my God. One bull!

8. 00:34
   

   Kayla

   Hi girlies!

9. 00:36
   

   Delulah

   Yeehaw y'all!

10. 00:38
    

    Host

    Uh, ladies, at a time, please. And you're frankly much too drunk.

11. 00:42
    

    Kayla

    No, we're not. I only had a martini with a twist. And the twist? I have four margaritas. Let's get this donkey moving, y'all.

12. 00:52
    

    Host

    It is not a donkey. Andre, do not start that bull.

13. 00:57
    

    Andre

    on Hmm. the one hand I know I'm not supposed to do this but on the other hand I would like to see two buxom babes being bucked around on a barcode I call this Andre's dilemma dilemma solved I will do it

14. 01:16
    

    Host

    oh Andre, what setting did you put it on?

15. 01:26
    

    Andre

    my dear goodness me I am afraid in my titillated state I accidentally said it to Bon Voyage

16. 01:33

    so

17. 01:38
    

    Singer

    So just like that. just like that they started their quest to blotto bimbos headed west Riding across the USA with all the sights to see Cops on the highway couldn't decide if the situation was a DUI Just two drunk bitches On a runaway mechanical boat

18. 02:01
    

    Kayla

    I'm a hot cream. Let's open our house for So

19. 02:04
    

    Delulah

    Good idea.

20. 02:05

    Ah! Ah!

21. 02:08
    

    Delulah

    Oh, it's all bees!

22. 02:10
    

    Kayla

    And a bird!

23. 02:13
    

    Singer

    You they saw the old faithful geyser squirt Then swallowed some Grand Canyon dirt Then saw Usher at the Sphere and got hit by a bunch of flying panties Ate cheese in Wisconsin which they thought was delish Then went to Niagara and got slapped by a fish with a bird and a bees and a big block of cheese just two dumb bitches on a runaway mechanical boat

24. 02:37
    

    Delulah

    a not done! We went to college!

25. 02:40
    

    Kayla

    Yeah! I went uti wait sorry i have a uti

26. 02:47
    

    Singer

    so the next thing you know they were crossing the ocean and the navy picked up some suspicious motion and their palantir software identified them as hostile

27. 02:56

    this is u.s southern command And you are clear to fire on narco bogeys. Hi! Roger that. Launching Hellfire missiles.

28. 03:07
    

    Singer

    With the military and the bird and the bees and a big block of cheese, just two old traveling bitches. And a bull going the speed of light.

29. 03:17
    

    Kayla

    Whoa, it's on the screen two minutes ago.

30. 03:23

    Uh-oh, things are getting weird.

31. 03:29
    

    Singer

    So he went back in time to Italy and met Galileo, Galilee, and told them that the earth revolves around the sun.

32. 03:37
    

    Kayla

    You're coming with us, big fella.

33. 03:40
    

    Singer

    Then they traveled back farther to a liminal space and communicated with a fifth-dimensional race. Then Sarah Sherman got hit by another fish in a bucket of water.

34. 03:49

    A

35. 03:52
    

    Singer

    With Galileo Galilei and military and a bird and a bees and a big block of cheeses to work the traveling bitches. And

36. 04:03
    

    Andre

    And the man who lost his job, Andre. Andre.

37. 04:08

    Andrei!