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Wedding Speech
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
The groom toasts his new wife as the most beautiful woman in the world, then a toastmaster calls on the best man. Instead of the usual compliments, the best man takes exception to the claim and explains that the bride is merely presentable, perhaps top half thanks to her youth. As the bride, the groom, the guests and the toastmaster react with growing horror, he insists he is only being fair, hands out a few more candid assessments of the room and the venue, and decides that two slightly deluded people are exactly what a marriage needs. The groom's shock gives way to stunned silence as the reception staggers on.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It's not nasty to say someone isn't the most beautiful woman in the world
She's top half, probably.
Two people who are a little bit deluded in each other's favour.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
David Mitchell
Writer
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Groom
The most beautiful woman in the world, my wife.
- 00:06
Wedding Announcer
And... and now, ladies and gentlemen, please show your appreciation for the best man.
- 00:23
Best Man
The most beautiful woman in the world? I don't think so, mate. I mean, honestly.
- 00:31
Best Man
I'm not being nasty. It's not nasty to say someone isn't the most beautiful woman in the world and she looks, you know, fine, good, very presentable, better than ever. Just not better than everyone.
- 00:46
Groom
What?
- 00:48
Best Man
Sorry, Jane. You've not been thinking you're the most beautiful woman in the world, have you? Why would you think that? Have you all gone mad? She is not the most beautiful woman in the world. She's top half, probably. But that's largely because of her relative youth.
- 01:08
Best Man
No, that's not rude. There's no one in this room who's anywhere near that attractive. I mean, one of the bridesmaids is pretty tasty, but not, you know, world-class.
- 01:18
Jane
I never said I was.
- 01:21
Best Man
He said that she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and I just wouldn't want their life together to kick off with a lie.
- 01:29
Groom
She's the most beautiful woman in the world, so just get on with it, okay?
- 01:34
Best Man
To you, right. But, but you, you know she's not, really, deep down. You're not mad. You just fancy her more than she is objectively attractive. Which is good!
- 01:46
Best Man
That's exactly... You should be getting married. Two people who are a little bit deluded in each other's favour. That's what love is, isn't it?
- 01:55
Best Man
Look, if the most beautiful woman in the world was getting married, that would be big news. The papers would be here. That there'd have been champagne, not Prosecco.
- 02:05
Speaker 1
Oh, my God!
- 02:07
Best Man
I like Prosecco. I'm not complaining. Look, why is it suddenly rude for me to say that he's average-looking, she scrubs up pretty well, but Audrey Hepburn, she ain't, and there have been weddings that have been more expensive than this? We all know these things. They shouldn't be a cause for despair.
- 02:26
Best Man
I was going to tell an anecdote about when he had to run naked through the lobby of a hotel, but that might provoke suicides from those of you who are apparently under the impression that this was Olympus itself and we were witnessing the union of the gods.
- 02:42
Best Man
Yeah, alright, alright. Have a nice evening. Was I alright?
- 02:49
Groom
Really good, mate. Really good.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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