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Lida and Melina's Thanksgiving Monologue
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
In one of the Thanksgiving episode's interludes, Lida and Melina burst through a stage door onto a set dressed with paper turkeys, already squabbling because one of them is adjusting her top to look bigger, which sets off an argument about whose figure God blessed. Turning to the audience to share their favorite Thanksgiving, they stumble through a memory of watching a police reality show at Melina's house that year, while one of them was sulking because her boyfriend Maurice had left her for a woman named Rosa. On the show the police raided the home of a woman who had robbed a store, and the friends gleefully reveal that the arrested thief was Rosa herself, piling on insults at her expense. Asked what else happened, they vaguely recall eating some turkey, decide the holiday is really about friendship, and wrap up with one more remark about chests before hugging.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
We ate some turkey, I think.
It's all about friendship, you know?
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Part of the November 21, 1998 Thanksgiving episode's runner in which several regular characters, including the Larkins, Jaq, Lida and Melina, Ms. Swan and Sally Kowalski, each tell the audience about the holiday.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.
- 00:05
Oh
- 00:05
My god, what are you doing? I'm fixing my data. So they look bigger. All right
- 00:10
Why are you doing that to yourself? You look like a skank out right now. You don't even know because god gave you big datas
- 00:18
Thank you god bless him for doing that too. Okay. Oh, okay. So like, um, uh, what was our favorite thanksgiving? Oh, it was um
- 00:26
It was on that one
- 00:28
Time when when we were watching that show
- 00:30
what the show in store with the people and the people on the show oh yeah yeah
- 00:36
yeah yeah yeah okay Mira we were watching it over at Melina's house right
- 00:41
yeah yeah cuz Lita was outside and everything cuz her boyfriend Maurice had
- 00:45
ditched her for that slut Rosa Rosa you a dead bitch
- 00:51
so like we was watching cops oh yeah yeah and then the cops remember they
- 00:56
went into the house yeah yeah cuz this girl had robbed the store yeah yeah and
- 01:00
And she had taken a bunch of stuff.
- 01:02
Yeah.
- 01:02
Clean stuff.
- 01:03
Yeah, yeah.
- 01:03
So, like, the cops had kicked down the door and arrested her.
- 01:07
Yeah.
- 01:07
And guess who it was?
- 01:09
Oh, it was that skanky slut Rosa.
- 01:11
Yeah, Rosa, you shot at this slut.
- 01:14
All right, mate.
- 01:16
And then what?
- 01:17
We ate some turkey, I think.
- 01:19
Yeah, because we had turkey because it's all about friendship, you know.
- 01:22
Yeah, right.
- 01:23
Right.
- 01:24
I'm like, oh, my God, your tatas are so big.
- 01:26
Yeah, what's wrong?
- 01:27
on?
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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