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Peanuts Christmas
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 13
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Hello, I'm a genius.
There will be no little kid acting in this pageant. Only good acting.
He gets it.
I love my blanket.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
The Peanuts kids' famous Christmas dance is interrupted by Drake Tuttle, a pompous local community theater director who announces that the principal has put him in charge of the pageant in place of Charlie Brown. He brings along his choreographer Lestat, a former boyfriend he still bickers and flirts with. The pair ban childlike performances, run the kids through a hip-hop dance combination and pronounce the results hopeless. Drake mocks Pig-Pen's grime, praises Schroeder's piano playing and makes a tactless assumption about Linus's blanket. Snoopy, however, wins them over completely, and they rebuild the number around the guitar-playing beagle, with everyone else swaying behind him.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The sketch opens with a mock Freeform "25 Days of Christmas" network bumper before cutting to the familiar Peanuts dance. Martin Short also hosted the 2012 episode featuring SNL's earlier Peanuts parody "You're a Rat Bastard, Charlie Brown"; Paste's review of this episode compared the two sketches.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Speaker 1
You're watching freeforms 25 days of Christmas. We now return to the animated classic a Charlie Brown Christmas
- 00:28
Drake Tuttle
Stop dancing! Stop dancing!
- 00:33
Sally Brown
Um, who are you?
- 00:35
Drake Tuttle
I'm Drake Tuttle local community theater legend your principal hired me to direct your pageant
- 00:42
Pig-Pen
But Charlie Brown's our director
- 00:43
Drake Tuttle
and I'm sorry to say he's dead to me But alive sorry, I shouldn't have paused after dead How was my mistake? This is my colleague, Lestat, your new choreographer.
- 01:02
Lestat
Hello, I'm a genius.
- 01:05
Drake Tuttle
FYI, Lestat and I used to date, and our relationship is very weird.
- 01:09
Lestat
Drake still thinks I'm in love with him.
- 01:12
Drake Tuttle
Because you are!
- 01:13
Lestat
Oh, you hit me!
- 01:15
Drake Tuttle
Stop it, you queen!
- 01:17
Drake Tuttle
Can you believe he's a top?
- 01:20
Lestat
Guy knows what I'm talking about.
- 01:24
Schroeder
Well, No, I do not.
- 01:30
Drake Tuttle
First off, some housekeeping. there will be no little kid acting in this pageant only good acting for example this is good acting oh mother you're drunk again that's unacceptable from my way of faking see any questions yes you
- 01:49
um yeah may i drop out of the show
- 01:51
Lestat
no no
- 01:52
Lestat
now i'd like to get a sense of everyone's modern hip-hop dance skills so i'd like you all to perform this combination one two three four five six seven Your turn, five, six, seven, eight!
- 02:05
Drake Tuttle
Stop,
- 02:07
Lestat
No, no, no, stop, stop, stop.
- 02:09
Lestat
Oh, we have a lot of work to do.
- 02:10
Drake Tuttle
No, no, that's not...
- 02:11
Lestat
They're not good. They're not good.
- 02:12
Drake Tuttle
Now we have some notes for the ensemble. And I'm sorry, I don't know your names. But you, Dirt Face.
- 02:21
Pig-Pen
Um, me? Uh, my name is Pigpen, sir.
- 02:24
Drake Tuttle
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you. Your name is Pigpenis?
- 02:29
Pig-Pen
No, sir, it's Pigpen.
- 02:31
Drake Tuttle
Well, you are the filthiest child I have ever, ever seen. Go take the shower in that hoarder house you live in and clean yourself for tomorrow's rehearsal. Thank you, pig penis.
- 02:43
Lestat
Piano Kid, keep doing what you're doing, because I like it. You're deep in the groove.
- 02:47
Drake Tuttle
That's what he used to say to me.
- 02:52
Drake Tuttle
He gets it.
- 02:55
Schroeder
The I do not
- 03:00
Drake Tuttle
Boy in red shirt. Boy in the red shirt. What's with the blanket?
- 03:04
Linus van Pelt
I love my blanket.
- 03:06
Drake Tuttle
Right, FYI, we will do our best to accommodate any and all cast members who are on the spectrum.
- 03:13
Drake Tuttle
And last but not least, we have a few questions for the dog.
- 03:18
Snoopy
Oh, that's me.
- 03:21
Drake Tuttle
Yes, there's something about you. You're just so... so...
- 03:25
Snoopy
Cool.
- 03:27
A
- 03:28
Lestat
Yes! That's it. That's it.
- 03:31
Drake Tuttle
Are you a boy dog or a girl dog?
- 03:35
Snoopy
Snoopy look like a bitch to you?
- 03:38
Lestat
Oh, so you're a boy.
- 03:40
Drake Tuttle
Now, have you been fixed?
- 03:42
Snoopy
Nah, man. Because I ain't broken.
- 03:46
Lestat
Oh, my God. You're a star.
- 03:48
Drake Tuttle
Exactly. No offense to the kids, but, obviously, anyone who comes to this show will only be looking at the beagle who can play the guitar.
- 03:58
Lestat
That's the show? Okay, new choreo, Snoopy. You shred that guitar, everyone else get behind the dog and sway like this and point. Five, six, seven, eight.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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