TikTok

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:11
   

   Bekka Jay

   Guys, TikTok shop, 30% off. My cortisol has dropped. Woo!

2. 00:17
   

   Keith Lee

   Okay, so today I am trying the Hennessy Habanero Fruity Pebble Chicken Sandwich from Lisa's Soul Food in Atlanta. I'm not gonna lie, y'all. That's nasty.

3. 00:30

   Came out this way, had to explain. Direct from Domingo.

4. 00:34
   

   Greta Meadows

   Today my husband asked for beef tacos, and I didn't want to let him down, so I slaughtered our cow and picked the corn myself.

5. 00:43

   The

6. 00:51
   

   The Salad Goddess

   roses, yum. The roses, yum.

7. 00:56
   

   Dr Omar

   My black brothers, we must protect the bloodline. Resist the temptation of the snow bunny. You don't want it.

8. 01:02
   

   Bekka Jay

   See how I'm vibrating off my cellulite? Very demure, very mindful.

9. 01:06

   Hey, baby, you want...

10. 01:07
    

    Alex Cooper

    What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father. Today's topic is when to put a finger in. Our guest today is Secretary of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas.

11. 01:23
    

    Harry Daniels

    Kamala, it's me, Pete. Can I sing to you? Making my way downtown, walking past faces, past some homebound, period.

12. 01:30
    

    Kamala Harris

    Thank you. That was singing. Yes. Wait, what the...

13. 01:36
    

    Bethenny Frankel

    Look at this crab meat. It's sick. It's insane. Looks nice.

14. 01:40
    

    Danny Nahbrah

    Yo, come on, chat. Chill. I'm not gonna light the fireworks in my frickin' basement, brah. Oh! Oh, yeah! Yo, yeah! Fuck off!

15. 01:50
    

    Danny Nahbrah

    Thank you for being here, Mr. President.

16. 01:52
    

    Donald Trump

    Yes, well, they tell me you're a tremendous success in terms of views and with regard to virgins, so it's a great honor.

17. 02:04
    

    Nick Kosir

    There's an evacuation order in place.

18. 02:09
    

    Keith Lee

    So this is part 55 of my beef with the chilis on Jefferson Avenue. See, they know they wrong, because they're little...

19. 02:17
    

    Kamala Harris

    Oh, you guys are at the wrong rally. I think you meant to go to the smaller one down the street. Excuse me, I'm speaking.

20. 02:37
    

    Harry Daniels

    Mr. President, can I sing to you?

21. 02:39
    

    Donald Trump

    Uh, yes.

22. 02:40
    

    Harry Daniels

    Where are you? And I'm so sorry.

23. 02:43
    

    Donald Trump

    Yeah. Wow, that was terrible. That was really bad. Didn't like that at all. That was really bad. Well, yes.

24. 02:49
    

    Keith Lee

    Part 71. They gave me placebo cheese sticks.

25. 02:53
    

    Greta Meadows

    As a 22-year-old mother of 10, I like to do everything by hand. Today, my kids wanted a color, but we were all out of paper. so I matched up my law degree to make more paper for my kids.

26. 03:11
    

    Joe Biden

    My cortisol is dropping. This is the thing vibrating. The legs are getting fit and strong. Oh!

27. 03:19
    

    Harry Daniels

    Excuse me, Ms. Eilish, can I sing to you? Can you pretend that airplane is the night?

28. 03:23
    

    Herself

    Here's 10 grand. Please stop following me.

29. 03:25

    Yeah.