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The Monster Always Rings Twice
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a hard-boiled parody of The Postman Always Rings Twice, Cora narrates life at the remote roadside diner she runs with her cheerful husband Nick, and her certainty that another man will someday walk in and change everything. That man turns out to be Ken, a hitchhiking mime headed for San Diego, whom Nick promptly hires as the diner's in-house pantomime act. The moment Nick leaves for town, Cora and Ken throw themselves at each other across the kitchen counter, sending food flying as a crowd of hungry customers wanders in and starts placing orders around them. Nick returns to find his business in chaos, but his jealous rage only rekindles Cora's passion for him, leaving the mime to slink away just as a new grinning drifter arrives asking for a bite to eat.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
We had used our life savings to buy the diner. Now we were saving up to buy a highway.
You can get a day's pay for a day's pantomime.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:15
Cora
It was just an out-of-the-way roadside diner, nothing fancy, a couple of stools and a counter, but it was ours. I did the cooking and cleaning, and Nick, he's my husband, ran the cash register. Nick was from the old country. I didn't know which old country, he never told me. I never asked. Nick had always wanted a little diner by the highway. We had used our life savings to buy the diner. Now we were saving up to buy a highway. It wasn't a bad life, I guess. There's folks who's worse off. Still, something was missing. Something that Nick couldn't give me, but another man could. I didn't know who that other man would be. I just knew that someday he was going to walk through that door.
- 01:13
Ken
Boy, am I dry! Riding those Coppers down those back roads sure works up a thirst.
- 01:25
Nick
All right, good, good, my friend. You sit down. Cora, Cora, bring us a glass of cold lemonade for our friend. Oh! It's on the house.
- 01:32
Ken
Oh, thanks a lot! Say, uh, Mr. uh...
- 01:36
Nick
Why don't you just call me Nick?
- 01:38
Ken
Nick! Ken's my handle. Pleased to meet you. I'm on my way down to, um... San Diego to look for a job.
- 01:54
Nick
So, uh... So, Ken, what kind of work do you do?
- 01:59
Ken ?
Oh, I'm a mime. You know that?
- 02:03
Nick ?
Ah, ah, a mime.
- 02:07
Ken
Yeah, it works pretty tight up north. I thought, I heard that you could man down in San Diego, you can get a day's pay for a day's pantomime, you know?
- 02:18
Nick
Listen, Ken, Ken, you know you're not going to San Diego. You stay here, you work for me, huh?
- 02:23
Ken
Oh, oh no, that's real nice of you, Nick, but no, I couldn't do that. No, I can't stay in one place for very long, you know? You know, I got to travel life's highways free as a bird. Staying in one place would, well, it'd be like putting a wild animal in a cage. I couldn't take that. I'd have to. You You know, on the other hand, Nick, know, maybe it's time to settle down after all.
- 03:15
Ken ?
Nick! You got yourself a man.
- 03:18
Nick
Oh, that's wonderful. You're going to be very happy here with me and my wife.
- 03:24
Ken
Your wife? Wait a second, I thought...
- 03:27
Nick
Gordo, we got ourselves a new employee. Oh, So second, Gordo.
- 03:32
now
- 03:33
Cora
So now it was three of us instead of two. I did the cooking, Nick ran the cash register, and Ken performed mime.
- 03:54
Nick
Listen, uh, Ken, Ken. And I got to go into town and take care of a little business. You stay here with Cora and look after things, all right?
- 04:03
Ken
All right, yeah, Nick. You got nothing to worry about with old Ken around. Ha, ha, ha.
- 04:19
Cora
Did I just hear Nick leave?
- 04:22
Ken
Oh, yeah, he just went into town.
- 04:28
Cora
That means he'll be gone for a while.
- 04:31
Ken ?
Oh, yeah.
- 04:33
Cora ?
I guess it's...
- 04:37
Ken ?
I guess it does.
- 05:11
Cora ?
Didn't you lock the door?
- 05:14
Ken ?
I guess I forgot.
- 05:16
Oh, I have an American cheese sandwich. I'm Ryan. I've got the coffee. Oh, yeah. All right. All right. Oh, yes, oh, yes. Oh, my God. I have two eggs, some juice, coffee, and an English muffin. Oh, my God. I have a toast. green salad and some iced tea, please? May sounds, uh, hold them in there. Excuse me, I have a cheeseburger and a chocolate? This is Swiss. I want an American. Can you put a little mayonnaise on this, please? No mayonnaise. Nick, do you have a new head shower?
- 06:11
Nick ?
Cora. Cora, I'm the best I...
- 06:15
Cora
Nick, Nick, I can explain. It's not how it looks.
- 06:25
Nick
What's going on here?
- 06:26
Cora ?
Nothing.
- 06:27
Nick
I leave you alone two minutes. This is what happens. Two minutes, huh?
- 06:30
Cora
I can explain.
- 06:31
Nick
You better explain. The place is full of customers. Nobody's taking care of them. People are American. They get Swiss. You're going to ruin my business.
- 06:39
Cora
Oh, Nick. I've never seen you this way. The anger, the animal rage, it does something to me. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh.
- 06:53
Nick ?
What?
- 06:53
oh, oh, yeah.
- 06:56
Ken
Yeah, well, I guess I'll be moseying on. I've got to do it for a lucky pair of mine down here.
- 07:03
Cora
Oh, Nick, Nick, Nick. I promise, I promise. I'll never look at another man in my life. I promise.
- 07:10
Customer
anyway Any way to get a bite to eat around here?
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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