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Hip-Hop Nativity
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 8
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Oh, Jesus, Mary and Julianna Margulies.
Just straight donkey Christmas hip-hop.
Oh my goodness. I think we might just have ourselves a Christmas show!
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At the first and only rehearsal for a Nativity pageant, two organisers announce they have taught themselves all of hip-hop and will stage a freeform live Nativity. They coach Joseph into a pimp walk, tell the donkeys to pop, and send Baby Jesus off to twerk while Mary is pushed toward a stripper pole. The cast wobbles between confusion and commitment until the baby's dancing wins everyone over, and a closing headline hints at a film adaptation.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Billie Eilish hosted and was musical guest on the December 11, 2021 episode. Her co-choreographer Ms. Kitty is played by cast member Heidi Gardner.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Ms. Kitty
Hey, hey, is is all Nativity cast present?
- 00:05
Neeley
Yes, Miss Kitty.
- 00:06
Ms. Kitty
Great, first and only pageant rehearsal, y'all. I need you to bring your A-game. Okay, so here's the deal, okay, guys? Times are changing, we can't do the normal, boring pageant thing this year. Too old school, too boomer, okay? This year, we're switching it up.
- 00:20
Neeley
Okay, that's right, and lucky for you guys, Neely and I took it upon ourselves to learn all of hip hop.
- 00:27
Joseph
I'm sorry, you learned all of hip hop?
- 00:30
Ms. Kitty
Correct, and it's gonna be a free-form hip hop Live Nativity.
- 00:34
Neeley
Okay, so let's get started with rehearsal. We got a lot of hip hop to teach you, okay? Now, where's our Joseph?
- 00:40
Joseph
Right here, Miss Kitty.
- 00:41
Ms. Kitty
Okay, Joseph, so now you're gonna enter with a pimp walk, a pimp walk.
- 00:46
Joseph
A what?
- 00:47
Ms. Kitty
A pimp walk. Here, Neely and I'll show you. Play the track, sweetie. A pimp walk, a pimp walk. a pimp walk, a pimp walk, and you're going to want to get down here,
- 00:58
Neeley
Yes, okay, because hip hop is low in the body.
- 01:04
Neeley
Y'all are up here, but hip hop is down here, okay?
- 01:06
Ms. Kitty
Okay, the streets are in the knees, okay?
- 01:09
Joseph
Oh, are they now?
- 01:11
Ms. Kitty
Yeah, because, you know what, it's bop and it's bop and it's, I'm Joseph, I'm a baby daddy now, so I pimp walk, I pimp walk. Okay, go do it, pimp walk.
- 01:21
Joseph
Okay, so like a...
- 01:22
Ms. Kitty
Getting Pimp walk, come on, pimp walk, pimp walk, pimp walk, pimp walk, yeah, pimp walk's there, the pimp walk's getting there. Okay, baby, go to the corner, face the wall, and keep pimp walking.
- 01:35
Joseph
Oh, so just face the wall?
- 01:36
Ms. Kitty
Yep, and pimp walk. Where are my donkeys at? and Matt.
- 01:40
Donkey
Come on. By all means, teach me hip hop, please.
- 01:44
Ms. Kitty
OK, so you three are going to follow Joseph out, OK? Not up here, but this is country music. OK, down here, this is hip hop. And when you land, I want booty booty.
- 01:54
Neeley
Don't you mean ass?
- 01:56
Ms. Kitty
Kill this. That is not funny.
- 02:00
Ms. Kitty
Watch me pop my butt, OK? Can everybody see my butt? OK, can you see that? Can you see that pop? It's a hip pop. It's a trot trot pop. And you feel it in your hooves, OK? Okay, so it's trot, trot, pop, trot, trot, pop, trot, trot, pop, and just straight donkey Christmas hip hop, pop, pop. How is no one filming this?
- 02:19
Joseph
Hey, sorry, just throwing this out there, but I'd be totally cool just doing what we practiced, you know, ditching the whole freeform hip hop thing.
- 02:26
Ms. Kitty
Oh, baby Jesus, please, please just focus on your twerking.
- 02:31
Baby Jesus
Excuse me, twerking?
- 02:32
Ms. Kitty
Okay, come here, donkeys, pop over there. Okay, baby, are you in your diaper?
- 02:37
Baby Jesus
I mean, yeah.
- 02:38
Ms. Kitty
Drop rope, let's go. Oh, Oh, Jesus, Mary and Julian Margulies. Honey, do you not have a butt? We gotta make him a butt, quick.
- 02:50
Neeley
What do we do?
- 02:51
Baby Jesus
Hold on, no, I don't wanna twerk. I don't wanna twerk. I'm playing a baby.
- 02:55
Ms. Kitty
Please, hey, cut it out. I'm gonna make you a butt, baby.
- 02:58
Baby Jesus
No, I don't need one.
- 02:59
Ms. Kitty
Okay, listen, baby Jesus can do anything. Now wring it out. Go twerk, son.
- 03:05
Joseph
Oh, Mary, wow! He can actually twerk! It's a miracle!
- 03:11
Ms. Kitty
Now, where's my Mary? where's my Mary? How comfortable are you on a stripper pole, sweetie?
- 03:16
Mary
Um, I'm not sure.
- 03:18
Ms. Kitty
wrong answer wrong answer all right i'll do it mary go grind on the wall all right drop the beat get my joseph in and pimp walk baby Donkeys, start poppin'!
- 03:33
Donkey
Oh, yeah!
- 03:35
Ms. Kitty
Yes, and Baby jay is shaking like a rat
- 03:41
Neeley
Praise Him! Praise baby Jesus! Praise baby Jesus!
- 03:46
Ms. Kitty
Oh my goodness! I think we might just have ourselves a Christmas show!
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