The Family: Hardware Store

On their way to a matinee, Eunice and Mama surprise Ed at Central Hardware and press him to take them to lunch, but he refuses to close up while his clerk Mickey Hart is off at the warehouse. Mama roots around for a rubber stopper for her bathtub drain, mocking the shop's odd inventory, including a dozen purple light bulbs Ed got stuck with. When Ed lays on the charm for a newcomer to Raytown, complete with a corny rhyme about a mattress, and then charges Mama 35 cents for her stopper, Eunice seethes. Mickey finally returns with a rambling account of agonizing over which screws to bring back, earning Ed's praise and calling Mama "Mother Harper" at every turn. The bickering over Ed's jokes, his flirting and the choice of movie theater boils over until Eunice storms out with Mama, leaving Ed and Mickey to head off for lunch at the Weenie King.

This sketch comes from the season-eight finale, the episode in which longtime guest Tim Conway was presented as becoming part of the show's regular cast; his Mickey Hart became Ed's recurring hardware-store employee in later Family sketches.