Sue: Christmas Surprise

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:01
   

   Alex

   Everyone, I'm sure you're wondering why Ashley and I asked you to come over on such short notice. I know we've only been married a few months, but we got some really big news from the doctor today.

2. 00:13

   Friend

   Oh, my God.

3. 00:17
   

   Ashley

   Yep, I'm pregnant. Mom and Dad don't know yet.

4. 00:21
   

   Sue

   Oh, my God.

5. 00:26
   

   Alex

   Yeah, they're on their way here right now, and we want to surprise them.

6. 00:29
   

   Sue

   Oh, my God! A baby? Oh! It's big news!

7. 00:36

   Friend

   Congratulations, you guys. Your parents are going to be so excited. It's going to be their first grandchild.

8. 00:41
   

   Sue

   Aunt God. Yes!

9. 00:46

   Friend

   See Sue's glad to be a part of this.

10. 00:49
    

    Sue

    I'm sorry. I just... I love surprises. God. I'm freaking excited. God. Because they don't know.

11. 00:59

    Friend

    I am so happy for you two. Me too, and thanks for including us.

12. 01:03

    Friend

    Sue, what are you doing?

13. 01:06
    

    Sue

    My hips. My hips have clenched. God, I got cramps in my butt. Oh, God. Anyone else? God, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just... so frickin' excited!

14. 01:19
    

    Ashley

    Well, I'm glad. Now, first, tell me if you guys think this is a good idea. Instead of just telling them, we thought we'd give them a gift, and inside would be little Christmas baby booties or a rattle.

15. 01:30
    

    Alex

    Or we could always just put both in there.

16. 01:32
    

    Ashley

    Yes! Do both.

17. 01:37

    Friend

    Do you want us to come in after you tell them or be in here the whole time? Walk in here from the car when and I know we're sitting here waiting. They don't know what they're gonna do. They see the rattle and the booties, and we all knew, and they're surprised.

18. 02:00
    

    Sue

    Um, anyway, maybe you guys would start by hiding in the kitchen. I'm sorry, can someone hand me some of that cheese ball? God, I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I need some salad cheese. Freaking dizzy.

19. 02:10

    Friend

    Yeah, sure. Here, here, take some. There you go. I think hiding in the kitchen is a great idea.

20. 02:15
    

    Alex

    Yeah, Ashley thought of that.

21. 02:17

    Friend

    Sue!

22. 02:21
    

    Alex

    Okay, well, listen up, guys. They're gonna be here any minute, so I'm just gonna yell, "Come on out, you guys," and then you'll...

23. 02:28
    

    Sue

    Oh, my God! My left my lips are dry and knuckle's a block!

24. 02:37
    

    Alex

    Uh, uh, Sue, get a hold of yourself. You act like you've never done anything like this before.

25. 02:42
    

    Sue

    Oh, you're right. You're right, that cheese helped. Okay, you know what else would help me? If we could practice, I just think it'd be easier for me if I know what's coming down the pike.

26. 02:52

    Friend

    Uh-huh. Okay. All right.

27. 02:55
    

    Alex

    Okay, well, everyone just go in the kitchen, then. When you hear your cue, since this is the best Christmas gift ever, you'll run out saying, Merry Christmas, okay?

28. 03:03
    

    Sue

    I guess so. Does that work?

29. 03:04

    Friend

    Yes. All right.

30. 03:06
    

    Alex

    Are you guys set? Okay. Come on out, you guys.

31. 03:14
    

    Ashley

    What's wrong? Merry Christmas! What is wrong with you?

32. 03:27

    Friend

    You stepped on my neck in there.

33. 03:33
    

    Alex

    Okay, you know what? Just forget the kitchen thing. It'll still be a surprise. Just please remember, do not say anything, okay?

34. 03:41
    

    Sue

    Yes. Oh.

35. 03:44
    

    Ashley

    Mom! Hi! How are you?

36. 03:47
    

    Dad

    Hey, kiddo. How are you?

37. 03:49
    

    Ashley

    Dad, how are

38. 03:49
    

    Mom

    Nice to see you.

39. 03:50
    

    Alex

    Oh, good to see you.

40. 03:52
    

    Dad

    Hey, what's everybody doing here?

41. 03:55
    

    Alex

    Stopped by.

42. 04:03
    

    Mom

    Oh. What's Aunt Sue doing?

43. 04:07
    

    Alex

    Um, nothing. She's, uh, she's fine, right, guys?

44. 04:11
    

    Sue

    They're gonna tell you something.

45. 04:12
    

    Alex

    Sue!

46. 04:14
    

    Sue

    It's nothing.

47. 04:15
    

    Dad

    What?

48. 04:15
    

    Sue

    Oh, there's just something gonna be added around here. No, huh? Is it a little person? Oh, no, someone's gonna get fat. What? Oh, but not with food.

49. 04:21
    

    Sue

    Nine months from now, oh, God, no, cigars. Grandparents. Oh, God, here it comes.

50. 04:24
    

    Alex

    Okay, Sue, please, do not! Don't! Oh!

51. 04:30
    

    Mom

    What?

52. 04:31
    

    Sue

    Gonna talk!

53. 04:32
    

    Alex

    No. No, she didn't. Oh! Hey! What?

54. 04:39
    

    Dad

    What is going on here? Did Sue just jump up the chimney?

55. 04:43
    

    Alex

    Okay, Mom, Dad, sit down.

56. 04:45
    

    Dad

    Okay, is everything, uh, okay?

57. 04:49
    

    Ashley

    We had you come over because we have great news. Alex and I...

58. 04:56
    

    Alex

    Sue's on the roof!

59. 04:59
    

    Sue

    God! I'm so freaking excited!

60. 05:01
    

    Alex

    Um, Ashley is pregnant.

61. 05:03
    

    Mom

    Oh! Oh! Oh, congrats, we're going to be grandparents.

62. 05:09
    

    Ashley

    Yeah, we want to surprise you guys.

63. 05:12
    

    Alex

    And something we didn't even tell you is it's going to be twins.

64. 05:18
    

    Dad

    Twins? Did you say twins?!

65. 05:27
    

    Sue

    Ow! Twins!

66. 05:30
    

    Alex

    Yeah?

67. 05:30
    

    Mom

    We had two babies at the same time! Twins!