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Surprise Lady: Thanksgiving
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At a family Thanksgiving, a sister tells everyone that her brother Paul is home on military leave and will surprise their unsuspecting mother at the door. Aunt Sue is overwhelmed by the secret: she shrieks, freezes up, blurts out non sequiturs about the Pier 1 decor and insists on a practice run, which only makes her worse. When Mom arrives, Sue is handed a pillow to bite on, but she still babbles a near-confession before fleeing out of the window. Paul finally walks in, hugs his mother and introduces his boyfriend, a fellow soldier, and Sue bursts back through the window in a turkey hat to cheer the news before diving out again.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 9
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I just love surprises!
That pot is from Pier 1!
Did you eat that pillow?
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Kristen Wiig revived Sue, her Surprise Lady character, for this episode, which she hosted four years after leaving the cast. SNL Archives counts it as the fifth of Sue's six appearances, between 2008 and 2020.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Sister
Okay, you guys, guys, can I have your attention? Oh, first, just so I don't have to tell you all individually, because I know you're all going to ask, yes, everything in this house is from Pier 1. Okay? Everything. Second, and this is slightly more important, my brother Paul got special holiday leave from the military, and he's going to be here tonight for Thanksgiving dinner.
- 00:20
Oh, that's amazing.
- 00:21
Sister
Yeah, hold on. It gets better. We didn't tell Mom. She has no idea. We're going to surprise her.
- 00:28
Oh. She She is going to be shocked. Yeah, I can't wait to see her face.
- 00:40
Sue ?
Oh, my God!
- 00:43
This was a great idea. What do you need us to do?
- 00:45
Sister ?
Well, we have the whole thing planned out.
- 00:47
Sue
Oh, my! God! It's a surprise?! And there's a plan?! She doesn't know it?!"
- 00:55
Guest ?
-"Sue, Sue, are you all right?
- 00:57
Sue
Yes! Oh, God! I just love surprises. I'm so freakin' effin' excited!
- 01:03
Sister ?
Okay. So, Paul's waiting right now at our neighbor's house. As soon as Mom is here, I'll text him to come in and surprise her. Sue?
- 01:11
Sue
She's Don't you see? She's gonna get here?! I Thinking your son is overseas? But he's over there behind the door? Aren't you surprised?
- 01:26
-"Oh, I have an idea. Should I film it with my phone?
- 01:29
Sue ?
Yes!
- 01:31
Sister ?
Okay, well, anyway, I thought after Mom gets here, we'll start eating, and then Paul...
- 01:36
Sue
Oh, God, what am I eating? Corn? Tell me, is there butter?
- 01:40
Sue! Sue! Everyone's excited, but we have to keep it together.
- 01:45
Sister ?
Yeah, when Mom gets here, we can't act like anything out of the ordinary is happening. Everybody just has to act natural. Can you do that, Sue?
- 01:53
Sue
Natural, yes, yes. I'll just look at my hand. I think my legs are locking up. Well, around! Ah! Oh God!
- 02:19
Sister ?
Okay, um, well, you know, Mom's gonna be here any minute. How about, you know what? How about when she sees Paul, everyone just yells surprise.
- 02:27
Sue ?
-"Oh, my God!" I forgot about the yelling!
- 02:34
That pot is from Pier 1!
- 02:36
-"Aunt Sue. Aunt Sue, you're gonna ruin the surprise."
- 02:40
Sue
-"God, I'm just so freaking freaked. Okay. I think I know what's gonna make me feel better. Can we just do a practice surprise? I need a dry run.
- 02:49
Sister ?
Okay, fine. I'll be Mom, all right? We're all up, acting natural, right? The doorbell rings. She opens the door. Paul's there, and we all yell...
- 02:57
-"Yes, surprise!"
- 03:00
Sue ?
ICE! YEAH! THIS IS FOR CHEATS!
- 03:09
Sue! Oh, that's her. That's her. She's coming.
- 03:17
Sister ?
Okay, everyone be calm. By everyone, I mean Sue.
- 03:20
Okay, Sue, just sit down, okay? If you feel like you're gonna say anything, just put this pillow in your mouth.
- 03:29
Hi!
- 03:32
Mom
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Am I the last one here?
- 03:36
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
- 03:47
Guest ?
Did you eat that pillow? Did you eat that whole pillow?
- 03:51
Sister ?
Okay, well, Mom, dinner's ready. Maybe we should all sit down before it gets cold.
- 03:56
Sue
He's coming. Oh, God, he's coming. Oh, God, here it comes.
- 04:00
Sue, don't. Don't.
- 04:01
Sue
Oh, God, here it comes. It's coming. Someone's coming. No, no, they're not. Ding-dong. Paul. Nobody. Oh, yes, camouflage. Oh, God, army. What? No, Paul! Yes?
- 04:11
Mom ?
Did she say something about Paul?
- 04:13
No.
- 04:15
Mom ?
Oh. Now, who can that be?
- 04:17
Sue ?
Hi! Hey, now!
- 04:21
Sue? Sue, Sue, you're ruining it.
- 04:25
Sue
Thanksgiving, I've got to get out of here!
- 04:34
Oh, my God.
- 04:36
Paul ?
Surprise!
- 04:37
Mom
Oh, my goodness! Paul, you're here!
- 04:40
Paul
Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Surprise. And I have more news. I brought my boyfriend home.
- 04:44
Uh... Everybody.
- 04:46
Sue ?
My loves are so bad!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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