Celebrity Jeopardy!

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:08
   

   Alex Trebek

   welcome back to celebrity jeopardy you may notice I'm wearing a different suit apparently mr. Connery felt my leg was closer than the urinal it's time for double jeopardy let's take a look at the scores Chris Tucker is in the lead with negative $5,000 mr. Tucker has answered every question with the same response

2. 00:36
   

   Chris Tucker

   do you understand

3. 00:41
   

   Alex Trebek

   that's the one you do understand that you're playing for charity

4. 00:45
   

   Chris Tucker

   yes i do why why do you not understand the words

5. 00:49
   

   Alex Trebek

   just making sure next with negative forty three thousand dollars is anne haish

6. 00:57
   

   Anne Heche

   akuness that means i'm not crazy anymore in my made-up space language

7. 01:04
   

   Alex Trebek

   terrific and finally with negative 130 000 sean connery is here yet again

8. 01:18
   

   Sean Connery

   i wouldn't miss it for the world trebek i turned down harry friggin potter for this

9. 01:25
   

   Alex Trebek

   please god take me now let's take a look at the board and the categories are potent potables Batman or Robin that's where we show you a picture and you say whether it's Batman or Robin famous horsemen that's about jockeys

10. 01:50
    

    Sean Connery

    I bet you've seen your fair share of other men's jockeys crumple up on your bedroom floor haven't you tinkerbell

11. 01:57
    

    Alex Trebek

    next we have point to your nose things mom gave you celebrity photos keep in mind that every one of these photos will be one of you and finally connect the dot and heish it's your board fine it's your board celestia

12. 02:31
    

    Anne Heche

    Nigga ba, Batman or Robin for 400, Alex.

13. 02:36
    

    Alex Trebek

    And the answer is, is this Batman or Robin? Chris Tucker.

14. 02:43
    

    Chris Tucker

    Yo, I know this man, that's Robin.

15. 02:47
    

    Alex Trebek

    No. So since it's not Robin, that leaves only one correct answer. Anne Heche.

16. 02:54
    

    Anne Heche

    Who is Robin?

17. 03:01
    

    Alex Trebek

    Amazing. Sean Connery

18. 03:04
    

    Sean Connery

    what is Robin now then I'll take Batman or Robin for 800

19. 03:13
    

    Alex Trebek

    no that's wrong let's just go to celebrity photos for 200 and remember this is a photograph of one of you who is this celebrity with Jackie Chan Chris Tucker you might want to ring in here and Hache

20. 03:33
    

    Anne Heche

    who is The Czar II, Third Overlord of Blargon VII.

21. 03:39
    

    Alex Trebek

    For the love of God, no. Chris Tucker.

22. 03:43
    

    Chris Tucker

    Yo, man, that's Jackie Chan. I work for that dude.

23. 03:47
    

    Alex Trebek

    No. Sean Connery, just pick a category.

24. 03:51
    

    Sean Connery

    I'll take Whore Sheman for $800.

25. 03:55
    

    Alex Trebek

    Wait, wait, wait, where are you going? What are you?

26. 04:00
    

    Sean Connery

    She, whore, like your mother. She-Man. It's right there.

27. 04:06
    

    Alex Trebek

    I see it. I see it. Now, please... You're very proud of yourself, aren't you?

28. 04:19
    

    Sean Connery

    Yes, I am.

29. 04:21
    

    Alex Trebek

    Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy! And the category is... Would you like a cookie? Yes or no. If you want a cookie, say yes. If you don't, say no.

30. 04:38
    

    Alex Trebek

    even if you want a cookie and you say no you'll still be right let's see what our contestants wrote Chris Tucker let's see what you wrote down do you understand the words that are coming out of let me guess you wagered my mouth and I'm right once again I remind you you are playing for charity apparently that's not getting through and heesh let's see what you wrote somehow you managed to post your resume mind bending

31. 05:25
    

    Anne Heche

    alex you'll notice that i slept with a lot of famous people

32. 05:29
    

    Alex Trebek

    i'll take your word on it now on to sean connery

33. 05:33
    

    Sean Connery

    well now trebek she's a nut job

34. 05:36
    

    Alex Trebek

    tell me about it

35. 05:37
    

    Sean Connery

    she's naughtier than a pecan

36. 05:45
    

    Alex Trebek

    Well, Sean, let's see what you wrote.

37. 05:48
    

    Sean Connery

    Sure.

38. 05:50
    

    Alex Trebek

    I'm sorry, Alex.

39. 05:52
    

    Sean Connery

    That I am.

40. 05:53
    

    Alex Trebek

    Wow.

41. 05:54
    

    Sean Connery

    I know I give you a hard time, but it's all in good fun. I mean, you know that, don't you?

42. 06:00
    

    Alex Trebek

    Of course I do, Sean. Let's see what you wagered, friend.

43. 06:06
    

    Sean Connery

    My friend, Trebek is such a fruit. Put that in your straw.

44. 06:15
    

    Alex Trebek

    And suck it.

45. 06:16
    

    Sean Connery

    Yes,

46. 06:16
    

    Alex Trebek

    I know.

47. 06:16
    

    Sean Connery

    Suck it hard.

48. 06:17
    

    Alex Trebek

    Yes.

49. 06:18
    

    Sean Connery

    Suck it. Suck it.

50. 06:19
    

    Alex Trebek

    I hear you. Well, that's it. Goodbye.