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Dysfunctional Family Christmas
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Silver Bell Records offers a Christmas album for families whose holiday gatherings revive old tensions. Around a punch bowl, relatives sing about keeping up appearances, a celebration spoiled by an argument, disappointing gifts and a parent’s drinking. A mother wraps criticism in apparent reassurance, while the children describe a father’s temper. The sales pitch closes with a carol that turns demands for personal space into a family chorus.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Hit after dysfunctional hit.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Bonnie Turner
Writer
Terry Turner
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The advertised offer is 24 songs for $19.95 from the fictitious Silver Bell Records.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Speaker 1
It's that time of year when families gather together to reopen old feelings. And Silverbell Records is proud to present a dysfunctional family Christmas.
- 00:09
Speaker 1
This is the album your family is sure to cherish for Christmases to come.
- 00:14
Speaker 2
Christmas time, you force a smile. Everyone is joining in the group denial. Folks behaving infantile. Family Christmas time.
- 00:25
Speaker 1
Hit after dysfunctional hit. Songs like The Almost Perfect Christmas. Christmas.
- 00:30
Speaker 2
Dinner is perfect, the presents are perfect, the tree and the parlor's the perfect one. Then your brother yells at your mother, Christmas is ruined for everyone.
- 00:41
Speaker 1
Get timeless favorites like Someday I'll Get Christmas Right, I've Got My Drinking Under Control for the Holidays, Peace on Earth Where, and The Daughter's Song.
- 00:49
Speaker 3
Presents and wrapping paper, ribbons and bows and all that stuff, why do we even bother?
- 00:57
Speaker 1
And
- 01:00
Speaker 1
this country Christmas classic
- 01:03
Dad
Every Christmas when you got drunk I told the children you were not drunk And I said, Tommy, you're not being bad It's just that Christmas makes your mommy mad
- 01:16
Speaker 1
You'll get Can't You Let It Drop, It's Christmas What I Want, You Can't Buy Me Fruitcake and Shame And Why Am I the Only One Who Knows What Christmas Really Means And many more
- 01:28
Mom
Underneath the mistletoe, it's a two-by-two Jingle Bell world. And underneath all those extra pounds is a very pretty girl.
- 01:38
Daddy's
- 01:40
Speaker 4
Daddy's nose is red and runny. Daddy's voice is gruff and funny. And the only words I can understand are God and Jim and Christmas.
- 01:55
Speaker 1
Just imagine 24 timeless standards, including the classic carol of intimacy.
- 02:01
Dana Carvey
Leave me alone, please go away. I'm doing fine, just get away. Leave me alone, please go away. I'm doing fine, just get away.
- 02:13
Speaker 1
To order, call Call 1-800-GET-HELP today. Operators are standing by.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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