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Feminist Bookstore

Portlandia2011Season 1Episode 2
Portlandia
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A college student just needs the books on her class list, but Toni and Candace turn the errand into an interrogation.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At Women & Women First, Toni and Candace vet a new shipment, turning away anything too popular, while Candace shows off a deliberately bad impression of someone named Donna. When a women's studies student (Aubrey Plaza) arrives from the campus bookstore with her required reading, the owners refuse to simply look titles up, fault her frayed shorts, wander into tangents, push their own in-store classes on her and nearly explode when she mentions pole dancing. Their insistent help then stalls in the stacks: a listed book sits in plain view, yet neither will fetch it or let her take it herself, until she gives up and walks out.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

No, we want bottom-selling authors.

No, no, we're that computer. We're the computer.

We lost another one.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein based the Women & Women First sketches on In Other Words, a real Portland feminist bookstore known for the rules it posted for customers, and filmed the scenes inside that store.

ScriptEnglish · 66 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:02

    So. So,

  2. 00:03

    Candace

    this is our new batch of books. I think we should just kind of go through it and make sure that it's what we want in the store.

  3. 00:09

    Toni

    Okay, great.

  4. 00:10

    Candace

    A new girl order.

  5. 00:12

    Toni

    It's a top-selling author.

  6. 00:14

    Candace

    Do we want that in here?

  7. 00:16

    Toni

    No, we want bottom-selling authors.

  8. 00:17

    Candace

    Do you want to see my impression of Donna? Okay, this is her filing things. Oh, You wanted it today? Oh, okay. Well, let me just... It's pretty good, right?

  9. 00:30

    Toni

    No, it's a horrible, horrible impersonation of Donna. And considering that that's your daughter...

  10. 00:35

    Candace

    Hi, welcome to Women and Women First.

  11. 00:37

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Hi.

  12. 00:38

    Toni

    Um, what happened to your pants?

  13. 00:42

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    They're frayed. Um, the PSU bookstore sent me here. I'm actually just, like, getting a bunch of books for class, for my women's studies class. Do you have, like, a computer system where I can just look it up?

  14. 00:53

    Candace

    No, no, we're that computer.

  15. 00:54

    Toni

    We're the computer.

  16. 00:56

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Okay, um, different daughters. Vaginas and owner's manual.

  17. 01:00

    Candace

    Hold on, slow down. Different daughters. If we could order that for you, it'll take a year to get here.

  18. 01:06

    Toni

    It has to be written.

  19. 01:07

    Candace

    And who's your teacher?

  20. 01:08

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Marilyn Kendall.

  21. 01:11

    Toni

    She's a little odd-looking, isn't she?

  22. 01:13

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Mm-hmm. I guess.

  23. 01:15

    Toni

    It's almost like they've made her eyes weird.

  24. 01:18

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    They?

  25. 01:19

    Toni

    Don't you think?

  26. 01:20

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Who made her eyes weird?

  27. 01:21

    Candace

    Goddesses.

  28. 01:22

    Candace

    What's the name of the first book?

  29. 01:24

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Vaginas and Owner's Manuals.

  30. 01:26

    Candace

    Hold on a second. Wait. I'm not looking for your book. This is something else. This is employee's rules.

  31. 01:36

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Okay, well, I'm...

  32. 01:37

    Toni

    This class you're taking, you don't need it. We have classes here. Abby D's queer question. Why don't you take that?

  33. 01:43

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    I have pole dancing class that day.

  34. 01:44

    Toni

    Excuse me?

  35. 01:46

    Candace

    Pole dancing?

  36. 01:47

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Pole dancing.

  37. 01:48

    Toni

    Exercise?

  38. 01:49

    Candace

    We're about to freak out right now. We're about two seconds away from jumping up on this table and kicking everything in sight, which, by the way, is our own property.

  39. 02:00

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    So I guess I'll just go somewhere else.

  40. 02:03

    Candace

    No, no, no. Let's find these books for you.

  41. 02:04

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    I can do it myself.

  42. 02:05

    Candace

    Oh, we don't want you to do anything by yourself. We'll help you.

  43. 02:08

    Toni

    Are you in a rush?

  44. 02:09

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Yeah, actually, I kind of have to go, so...

  45. 02:11

    Candace

    Can I do my impression of you? Yeah, actually, I've gotta go.

  46. 02:16

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Oh, that book's on my list.

  47. 02:18

    Toni

    Oh, can you put that away, please?

  48. 02:20

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    It's over there.

  49. 02:21

    Candace

    Every time you point, I see a penis.

  50. 02:23

    Candace

    Oh, I can't reach it. Well, I'll have to get it for you another time.

  51. 02:26

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    It's right there. Can you just get it? It's like, honestly, it's right there.

  52. 02:30

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Let me show you, let me show you... It's right there.

  53. 02:33

    Toni

    At this time, we cannot get it for you.

  54. 02:36

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    You're touching it. Why are you doing that?

  55. 02:37

    Candace

    I'm touching it, but that's not enough to pull it. I can rest my hand, but I can't...

  56. 02:44

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    What's wrong with your hand?

  57. 02:45

    Candace

    This is my full extension.

  58. 02:46

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    Okay, can I get it?

  59. 02:47

    Toni

    It's not within reach, so let's just... We'll move on.

  60. 02:50

    Bookstore Customer/Student

    It's not within reach?

  61. 02:51

    Candace

    No.

  62. 02:51

    Toni

    Can't reach it.

  63. 02:52

    Nope. Nope. Nope. I can't reach it.

  64. 02:54

    We can give you this book. We can give you this book. We can give you this book. We can give you this book.

  65. 02:57

    I just see the person on my list. I just see this book.

  66. 03:07

    Toni

    We lost another one.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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