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Auction Block
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At an 1848 slave auction in Savannah, Georgia, two enslaved men on Lots B and C (Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key) swagger with threats of revolt and insist they would never submit to an owner. Then the bidding starts, and every man stepping onto Lot A sells within seconds while nobody bids on them. Their defiance curdles into wounded vanity: they second-guess the buyers' taste, protest when an especially short man is snapped up, and when the exasperated trader calls off the sale, they scramble to pitch their strengths and docility to anyone who will take them.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 7
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It just seems like at a certain point, it's like, do they even know what they're looking for?
Can a brotha get on Lot A?
I will not have my reputation tainted, sellin' superficial, bigoted slaves.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Peter Atencio
Director
Sean Conroy
Writer
Rebecca Drysdale
Writer
Colton Dunn
Writer
Keegan-Michael Key
Writer
Jay Martel
Writer
Jordan Peele
Writer
Ian Roberts
Writer
Alex Rubens
Writer
Charlie Sanders
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
In a 2013 Fresh Air interview, Jordan Peele said the pair set out to show the sketch was not laughing at slavery's victims: rather than adopting a period dialect, they spoke in their own modern voices so the joke would land on their vanity.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Slave Trader
All right y'all gather round gather round welcome gentlemen, what a beautiful and blessed day for an auction All right, y'all get on up there
- 00:13
One of them. One of
- 00:14
Speaker 1
Put that whip down to see what happens on her straight up
- 00:17
Speaker 2
I don't care what plantation I end up on I'm straight staging a revolt in this mother hells
- 00:23
Slave Trader
Yeah, we have lot a lot B and lot C
- 00:27
Three dollars on lot A.
- 00:29
Four dollars. Five.
- 00:30
Slave Trader
Five dollars going once, twice, three times, sold. Lot A goes to the man in the black hat.
- 00:37
Speaker 1
I can't hold back. I mean, get...
- 00:41
Speaker 2
I mean, good.
- 00:42
Speaker 1
Yeah?
- 00:43
Speaker 2
I'm glad I didn't get sold because I don't want to be owned by another human being.
- 00:47
Speaker 1
Whoever buys me, they better kill me the first day. I'm going to go buck wild on the whole operation.
- 00:52
Speaker 2
Okay.
- 00:53
Slave Trader
Next one, get up on up there now.
- 00:56
Speaker 2
Oh, this is okay. Okay.
- 00:57
Six dollars.
- 01:01
Slave Trader
Six dollars on lot A.
- 01:03
Seven dollars. Eight. Nine.
- 01:05
Slave Trader
Nine dollar going once, twice, three times, sold.
- 01:10
Speaker 2
Okay, well you have to buy that dude. It's a no-brainer.
- 01:12
Speaker 1
I mean, that guy's huge. Massive individual.
- 01:14
Speaker 2
That's two of me.
- 01:15
Speaker 1
Anybody would buy him.
- 01:16
Speaker 2
I'd buy that dude.
- 01:17
Speaker 1
My question is, how'd they catch him?
- 01:19
Slave Trader
Next.
- 01:21
Speaker 2
Okay. okay.
- 01:25
Two dollars on lot A.
- 01:26
Slave Trader
Two dollars going once, twice, three times, sold.
- 01:29
Speaker 2
See, now that surprises me.
- 01:30
Speaker 1
That is interesting, to say the least.
- 01:33
Speaker 2
I mean, well, it just seems like at a certain point, it's like, do they even know what they're looking for?
- 01:37
Speaker 1
I mean, it's like the whole criteria seems a little inconsistent.
- 01:40
Speaker 2
I mean, at some point, I want to be on lot A.
- 01:42
Speaker 1
Yeah, can a brother get on lot A?
- 01:45
Slave Trader
Next.
- 01:48
Speaker 2
Oh, Oh, here we go.
- 01:49
Speaker 1
Here we go. It's been a pleasure.
- 01:50
Speaker 2
Give them hell.
- 01:51
Speaker 1
All right.
- 01:51
OK. $8 on lot A.
- 01:53
Slave Trader
Go once, twice, three times, hold.
- 01:55
Speaker 2
How does that happen?
- 01:56
Speaker 1
Nope, not true. What you just said, that's gobbledygook.
- 01:58
Speaker 2
OK, that can't be true, because what can this dude do?
- 02:00
Speaker 1
Look at him. What could he pick? A cotton plant is like this tall.
- 02:03
Speaker 2
Yes.
- 02:04
Speaker 1
No offense, brother. I'm just saying.
- 02:06
Little Slave
Oh, sense taken.
- 02:07
Speaker 2
What? Am I wrong as he's not short? He's short. But you are actually short in real life in the world.
- 02:15
Speaker 1
You're good, man.
- 02:15
Slave Trader
Enough. I will not have my reputation tainted selling superficial bigoted slaves.
- 02:23
Speaker 1
Superficial? Did that really just come out of your mouth?
- 02:25
Slave Trader
That's it. This auction's over.
- 02:28
Speaker 2
Auction's over?
- 02:29
Speaker 1
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, it ain't over, it's not over.
- 02:32
Speaker 2
I'm strong, y'all, I'm very strong.
- 02:34
Speaker 1
I can sleep in a bucket.
- 02:35
Speaker 2
I'm fast, I got stamina. I know I don't look it, but I-
- 02:38
Speaker 1
And I know magic.
- 02:38
Speaker 2
My worst quality is that I'm a perfectionist.
- 02:40
Speaker 1
Have I mentioned this? Docile.
- 02:43
Speaker 2
I am agreeable to a fault. You should have seen the dude who asked me to get on the boat when we came over here.
- 02:49
Speaker 1
Not a violent bone in my body.
- 02:50
Speaker 2
I just walked right on, no big deal.
- 02:52
Speaker 1
Never seen a boat in my life.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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