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Prices
The setup
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
FINE EUROPEAN PRICES
STOP GETTING JERKED AROUND
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Tim promotes his discount-price shop while Eric advertises a premium-price rival. Their competing commercials offer prices as if they were merchandise, using flashy graphics and increasingly extravagant sales pitches. Each seller intrudes on the other’s advertising, and their rivalry spills into threats, cartoon violence and explosions.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Tim
Hi, me Momo, Tim Heidecker, and welcome to Discount Prices. I've got $1.99. I've got $7.99. I've got $16.99. Cheap prices. $14. $11. $2.49. $3. My prices are so small you can barely see them. This is some small prices. We have prices discounted.
- 00:20
Eric
Tim's discounted prices shattered to the ground. Buy premium prices. Hi, I'm Eric, and welcome to Eric's Premium Prices. I've got all the premium prices. I've got $19.99 for sale for $20. You come to me when you want fine European prices. They're premium. Come on in, buy $35.50 for $40.
- 00:35
Tim
Oh, lay an egg. Go to Tim's discount prices. Our $6.99s are down to $2.99.
- 00:40
Eric
Tim buys his prices from China. Mine are real. American mint.
- 00:44
Tim
Who wants to pay a premium for prices? Come on down to Tim's discount prices and pay small prices.
- 00:51
Eric
Look at this discounted price. There's no meat on it. You throw it back. Stay in the water. I'm not going to serve you to my family.
- 00:57
Tim
The man's a dirty fella. He's got a stink down here.
- 01:01
Eric
Discount prices are for the birds. Tim's got crap prices.
- 01:04
Kick it.
- 01:08
Tim
Don't let Eric get near you. He'll rape you.
- 01:10
Eric
Tim makes up random prices and sells them at a discount.
- 01:13
Tim
That's bull . Eric's a compulsive masturbator. He masturbates all over the store.
- 01:17
Eric
My competitor is a liar.
- 01:19
Cut his head off. Business fool.
- 01:22
Tim
Premium? I'd say cremeilum. .
- 01:25
My prices. . . No. No. No. No. He's coming to us. My price. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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