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Taste Test

Saturday Night Live 2011 Season 37 Episode 2

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A focus group tasting new Hidden Valley Ranch dressings turns into a cash-prize contest, and one wildly enthusiastic participant keeps shouting slogans until everyone else wants her gone.

Watch on YouTube

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A mild-mannered moderator named Roger gathers three consumers around a table to sample a new line of Hidden Valley Ranch dressings. Linda, who has clearly been waiting her whole life for this, cheers every product, chants the brand name and makes herself the group's loudest voice. When Roger mentions a bonus prize for the best comment, the other tasters start fishing for quotable lines while Linda keeps hijacking the session with slogans and sing-song jingles. Mark and Sue grow openly hostile, the moderator loses control, and the dressing-fueled rivalry ends with Roger paying her to leave, though she bargains for a bigger sum and one more taste.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 4

Melissa McCarthyHost

Linda

Highly quotable.

There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth.

Can you garlic ranch blast me now?

It's not just for salads anymore.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Melissa McCarthy hosted this episode of Saturday Night Live, with Lady Antebellum as musical guest.

ScriptEnglish · 69 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:00
Roger
Hi there, thank you all for coming in. My name is Roger. I'm gonna be running today's focus group Okay, the products we're gonna be testing today is a new line of dressing from Hidden Valley Ranch
00:16
Linda
Awesome. Woo! Awesome! Hidden Valley Ranch! H-V-R! H-V-R! H-V-R!
00:23
Roger
Okay. All right. Okay, we love your enthusiasm
00:27
Linda
I love your product man, I love your product I'm Linda. I'm Linda. Love that product, man.
00:38
Roger
Okay. All right. Great, Linda. Good stuff. Okay. We're going to put three new dressings in front of you to taste, and then we just want your feedback.
00:45
Linda
All right. Well, they're going to be awesome, Roger.
00:47
Roger
Okay.
00:47
Linda
They really are.
00:49
Mark
All right. Well, let's just wait until we taste them, and then we can discuss.
00:52
Roger
Okay. Okay. Let's start with number one.
00:58
Sue
I'm getting strawberry.
01:01
Mark
I'm getting kiwi.
01:02
Linda
Man, I'm getting a big hit of kiwi. Big hit of kiwi. Hi, Kiwi.
01:08
Mark
You know what? Hey, man. It just tastes like ranch dressing with bacon to me.
01:12
Roger
Okay, that's right. It's our new bacon ranch dressing.
01:17
Linda
That was really good, Mark. Man, what a palate. You nailed that. That was awesome.
01:25
Sue
It's nice. Yeah, I'm not really tasting the bacon at all.
01:29
Linda
Are you kidding me? It's loaded with bacon. The product is loaded with bacon! Come on, it's in the name!
01:47
Mark
I just... I think she's gonna ruin it, Roger. We have this good thing happening and then you're kind of... You're gonna ruin this for us.
01:57
Sue
She's ruining it for us.
01:58
Roger
Linda, everyone's opinion is valid, Linda, okay? We just want your honest reactions. Actions. Actually, one thing we do here for fun is we give an extra $50 to whoever has the best comment today.
02:09
Linda
Oh, that's fun. Oh my god.
02:12
Roger
Yeah, you might even hear your quote in the ad campaign, so okay, let's move on to number two.
02:17
Sue
Man, I could really use that cash, Mark. I mean, that cash could really get me out of a couple of jams.
02:25
Mark
It's just, all right, all right, game on.
02:29
Roger
Okay. Game on. All right, All right, so why don't we just get started?
02:34
Linda
There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth. There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth.
02:42
Mark
Write that down for your...
02:43
Linda
There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth. There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth.
02:57
Roger
You wanna write that down for the campaign? Probably not gonna write that down.
03:02
Mark
I like this one. It's got a real kick.
03:04
Roger
Oh, okay. Hey, I like that. It's got a real kick. That's our new Garlic Ranch Blast.
03:11
Linda
You betcha it's a blast! You betcha it's a blast! Lightning bolts. You betcha it's a blast!
03:18
Roger
Linda.
03:19
Linda
You betcha it's a blast!
03:21
Roger
Linda, please, you haven't even tasted it yet.
03:24
Sue
Hey, this could make even my husband eat salad.
03:27
Roger
Salad. Okay, I like that. That's a great comment, Sue.
03:31
Linda
Um... He...
03:34
Linda
Can you garlic ranch blast me now? Can you garlic ranch blast me now? Can you garlic ranch blast me now? Can you garlic ranch blast me now?
03:46
Mark
Okay, she's just doing the Verizon slogan. It was a hugely successful campaign. She doesn't get it.
03:52
Roger
Okay, why don't we just move on? Come on.
03:56
Linda
Doo doo doo doo doo, I'm Garlic Ranch buzzing it.
03:59
Sue
Oh, that's McDonald's.
04:00
Roger
Oh, God.
04:03
Mark
Shut up, Sue. Every... We all hate you. So much. We, we hate you. Alright. We hate your guts.
04:15
Roger
Okay, please. Let's just taste the third one. Okay? It's our new Pepper Jack Ranch.
04:22
Linda
Ranch. That's Jack-tastic! That's Jack-tastic! That's Jack-tastic! That's Jack-tastic! Just write that down. Jack-tastic!
04:35
Mark
This would be great on a burrito.
04:36
Sue
I'd put it on a burrito.
04:39
Roger
That's good. Maybe a little more descriptive.
04:42
Linda
It's not just for salads anymore. It's not just for salads anymore.
04:46
Roger
That is great, Mark. That is great. And Linda. And Linda. So,
04:52
Mark
Oh, we'll split that 50, 50, 25, 25, get me out of one jam, Sue.
04:59
Sue
Group effort, not Sue, not you.
05:04
Mark
25, 25, I was telling Sue earlier, you know, it's funny, Hidden Valley Ranch is not just for salads anymore.
05:10
Sue
She didn't, she never said that.
05:12
Mark
Yes, I did, but she has got to go. She's got to go.
05:17
Sue
This one's way too spicy for me, I'm sorry.
05:20
Linda
Not me, I could eat a whole bottle.
05:22
Mark
Yeah, I could, I could get a little bottle too, okay?
05:26
Roger
Let's get you a little, a little water. Okay.
05:47
Linda
This is awesome, man.
05:49
Roger
Okay, okay, just stop it.
05:50
Linda
This is awesome.
05:51
Roger
Stop it, please. I will give you $50 just to leave.
05:56
Linda
Deal. Can we make it $30? Because I'm going to need just a little more of this good stuff.
06:04
Roger
Fine, just go ahead, please.
06:06
Linda
Boy, that's real good. Do-do-do-do-do! Jack-tastic!