John Wilkes Booth

Seated in their flag-draped box, Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln order drinks and chat about the end of the Civil War, Mary's second-hand gossip about a British invasion and the dinner plans Abe has forgotten. Their evening is repeatedly interrupted by a mustached John Wilkes Booth, who slips through the curtain shouting his Latin motto and clobbers the President with a phone book, then an orange, steals his beloved stovepipe hat and later flings a shoe. Each time, Lincoln calls for his sunglasses-wearing security guard, who throws the intruder out with growing irritation, while Mary needles Abe for never listening to her. The last confrontation ends with Booth announcing he will leave and come back with a gun.

This was filmed on the same day as the season's other Lincoln sketch, "Abe Lincoln". In the troupe's commentary, Timmy Williams recalled that the big hoop skirt he wore as Mary Todd was a relief during the sweltering shoot.