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Weekend Update: Drunk Uncle on New Year's Resolutions
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Seth Meyers asks Drunk Uncle what he is looking forward to in 2012. After a sloppy New Year's countdown, the guest complains that a few dollars once bought far more than they do now, sneers at gluten-free food and fancy soy milk, and drifts into grievances about social media, e-readers and the smartphone his nephew gave him. He lights his cigarette at the wrong end, announces that his resolution is to watch football no matter what Gloria thinks, and spells out a rambling email address of complaints. When Meyers suggests he has had too much, he claims to be carrying a pistol with the safety on, then keeps pestering Meyers to pull his finger until the anchor signs off.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You press one for English.
If it's so smart, why can't I get a driver's license?
I'm gonna watch the damn Vikings game, Gloria, and that's final.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Don Roy King
Director
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This was Drunk Uncle's second Weekend Update appearance, following his debut on December 3, 2011. Bobby Moynihan has said the character grew out of a drunken voice he used to make fellow comedian Chris Gethard laugh. The episode started late because NBC's coverage of the Saints-Lions playoff game ran long.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Weekend Update Anchor
Well, it's the new year, and that means new resolutions for 2012. Here with his New Year's resolutions is Drunk Uncle.
- 00:13
Drunk Uncle
Happy New Year! Ten! Nine!
- 00:23
Drunk Uncle
He keeps going down from there.
- 00:26
Weekend Update Anchor
So, Drunk Uncle, what are you looking forward to in 2012?
- 00:30
Drunk Uncle
You see these? They cost $5. When I was a kid, $5, you could get hot dog, milk, bread, cigarettes, television.
- 00:45
Drunk Uncle
Nowadays, it's just, is this gluten-free? Is there pomegranate in this soy milk? you You press one for English.
- 01:04
Weekend Update Anchor
Okay, wow. You got off track really fast there.
- 01:08
Drunk Uncle
Global boring.
- 01:10
Weekend Update Anchor
Oh, boy.
- 01:11
Drunk Uncle
You know, girls need to wear hats in church, Seth. they're always saying Twitter me Twitter me Twitter me I want to Kindle my boyfriend girl with a dragon tattoo not my house
- 01:30
Weekend Update Anchor
all right All so any New Year's resolutions
- 01:36
Drunk Uncle
my nephew bought me a smartphone for Christmas if it's so smart why can't I get a driver's license
- 01:46
great
- 01:55
Drunk Uncle
You for the rest of your life You know where I'm coming from.
- 02:03
Weekend Update Anchor
Drunk uncle.
- 02:05
Drunk Uncle
Okay, so I wasn't the biggest guy in the world, okay? So I wasn't a CAO, okay? No, I'm not fantasy man, okay?
- 02:18
Okay. That's not...
- 02:25
Drunk Uncle
That's not me.
- 02:27
Weekend Update Anchor
You're lighting the filth. Don't. You're lighting the filth at the wrong end.
- 02:30
Drunk Uncle
What? The wrong end of what? Oh. Sorry, college boy. You know... You know what my New Year's resolution is?
- 02:42
Weekend Update Anchor
We would love to know.
- 02:43
Drunk Uncle
I'm gonna watch the damn Vikings game, Gloria, and let's find them.
- 02:48
Drunk Uncle
And if you don't like it, you can e-mail me at www... Is this really America? Dot question mark? Dot no, it isn't. Dot immigrants.
- 03:03
Weekend Update Anchor
All right. I think you're a little too drunk.
- 03:07
Drunk Uncle
-"Yeah, I got a gun."
- 03:08
Weekend Update Anchor
-"What?"
- 03:10
Drunk Uncle
-"It's a Luger. But don't worry. The safety is on."
- 03:19
Weekend Update Anchor
-"Everyone here can see both of your eyes."
- 03:22
Drunk Uncle
-"Yeah. Good for them. Hey. Hey."
- 03:28
Weekend Update Anchor
-"What?"
- 03:29
Drunk Uncle
-"Pull my finger."
- 03:30
Weekend Update Anchor
-"No."
- 03:32
Drunk Uncle
-"Pull my finger."
- 03:33
Weekend Update Anchor
-"No."
- 03:33
Drunk Uncle
Amy, pull my finger.
- 03:35
Weekend Update Anchor
No.
- 03:36
Drunk Uncle
Come on.
- 03:36
Weekend Update Anchor
I don't. I know what.
- 03:38
Drunk Uncle
It's too late. I already did it. Just pull my finger.
- 03:43
Weekend Update Anchor
Drunk Uncle, everyone!
- 03:45
We've got Dr. Huxel-Meyers!
- 03:47
Weekend Update Anchor
Good night!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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