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Santa's My Boyfriend
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Three women decorating a Christmas tree compare their holiday plans, then step in front of a glittering curtain to sing about dating Santa. Familiar Christmas customs become romantic and sexual boasts as each woman describes the same attentive boyfriend. Their confidence falters when they turn to the question of his wife and whether he will leave her. The trio close the cold opening with a harmonized announcement of the show.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
He's gonna leave her, right?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Maya Rudolph
well it's the last show before christmas girls how are you guys gonna spend the holidays
- 00:04
Amy Poehler
my holiday is gonna be super special this year
- 00:07
Kristen Wiig
do tell
- 00:08
Amy Poehler
i'm spending it with my new guy
- 00:10
Maya Rudolph
so am i
- 00:11
Kristen Wiig
me too
- 00:12
what's he like
- 00:13
Amy Poehler
well i'll tell you i've
- 00:22
Amy Poehler
I've got a new man this holiday someone who won't let me down.
- 00:28
Kristen Wiig
A guy whose eyes always sparkle.
- 00:31
Maya Rudolph
A man who can show you the town.
- 00:35
Maya Rudolph
My boyfriend knows when I'm sleeping.
- 00:38
Speaker 1
He always treats me right. He knows if I've been bad or good, but when I'm naughty, he thinks it's nice.
- 00:49
Speaker 1
Santa's my boyfriend. Santa's the one that I love. The touch of his furry white glove I love Santa's my boyfriend Oh, I've never been in like this When he comes down my chenille High and weak in the knees Cause it's his kiss that's first on my lips When we jump in his sleigh And he takes me to the North Pole Ain't he the greatest?
- 01:22
Speaker 1
He told me he loves the taste of my milk and cookies
- 01:25
Speaker 1
He told me the same thing
- 01:28
Speaker 1
When everybody else is putting up their stockings He's taking mine down You get the picture Santa's my buddy friend, he keeps me warm in the cold winter snow. He's jolly and kind, and I don't even mind when he sees me and shouts ho ho ho. Santa's my buddy for And we'll have a wonderful life, I can't wait the time when he'll truly be mine and leave his bitch of a wife.
- 02:02
Kristen Wiig
he's Of gonna leave her right
- 02:05
Speaker 1
well of course he's going to leave
- 02:06
very promised.
- 02:07
They always promise and it usually works out, right?
- 02:13
Oh, I, oh, I'm from New York. It's Saturday night.
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