NPR's Delicious Dish: Gordon Hoover's Halloween Scary Town

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:05
   

   Margaret Jo McCullin

   Hello, I'm Margaret Jo McCullen.

2. 00:07
   

   Terry Rialto

   And I'm Terry Rialto.

3. 00:09
   

   Margaret Jo McCullin

   And you're listening to The Delicious Dish on National Public Radio. Now, Terry, today is a special Halloween culinary spookstravaganza. So let's summon some ghoulies and ghosties to help us make goulash and toasties.

4. 00:35
   

   Terry Rialto

   Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. I have such happy memories from childhood dressing up and going door-to-door collecting for UNICEF.

5. 00:43
   

   Margaret Jo McCullin

   I know, same. My favorite was always apple bobbing, although due to a terrible allergy to apples, my family bobbed for uncooked potatoes and yellow onions.

6. 00:55
   

   Terry Rialto

   It was a real hoot.

7. 00:58
   

   Margaret Jo McCullin

   It was neat.

8. 00:59
   

   Terry Rialto

   It was fun.

9. 00:59
   

   Margaret Jo McCullin

   It was good times.

10. 01:00
    

    Terry Rialto

    Potatoes.

11. 01:01
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    UNICEF, I like it.

12. 01:02
    

    Terry Rialto

    Good times.

13. 01:02
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    good so what are you going to do this halloween terry

14. 01:07
    

    Terry Rialto

    well i enjoy spending halloween night out in the pumpkin patch waiting for the great pumpkin to appear

15. 01:13
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    oh like in charlie brown

16. 01:15
    

    Terry Rialto

    charlie what now

17. 01:16
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    the cartoon charlie brown

18. 01:18
    

    Terry Rialto

    it's a cartoon there's nothing cartoonish about my religious beliefs

19. 01:22
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    anyway we have a very special guest joining us tonight he teaches at cesar chavez high school

20. 01:36
    

    Terry Rialto

    now didn't that used to be james madison high school

21. 01:39
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    sure did but they changed the name

22. 01:40
    

    Terry Rialto

    yeah cesar chavez interesting yeah

23. 01:43
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    but more importantly once a year he is the proprietor of gordon hoover's scary town but don't worry it's actually just one half of a two-family duplex over near interstate 15.

24. 01:54
    

    Terry Rialto

    so don't scary

25. 01:56
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    yeah it is here please welcome gordon hoover

26. 01:59
    

    Terry Rialto

    hi gordon I like your pirate costume.

27. 02:07
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Yeah, thank you. I strive for terrifying authenticity.

28. 02:16
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    The eye patch is a really clever touch. I like it.

29. 02:20
    

    Gordon Hoover

    That's not part of the costume. Yesterday I scratched my cornea while replacing some fiberglass insulation over at the Scary Town.

30. 02:36
    

    Terry Rialto

    Sorry about that.

31. 02:38
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Yeah. It's no fun at all.

32. 02:40
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Ouch. Not fun.

33. 02:42
    

    Terry Rialto

    No fun.

34. 02:42
    

    Gordon Hoover

    No. It's not.

35. 02:47
    

    Terry Rialto

    So, Gordon, every Halloween for about 15 years now you've turned your house into a haunted castle full of treats for the neighborhood kids. Is that right?

36. 02:55
    

    Gordon Hoover

    It's 15 years. That's right. Yeah. 15 years. Of course, most of the kids are grown up now.

37. 03:00
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Right. Kids do that.

38. 03:01
    

    Terry Rialto

    Yeah. Yeah.

39. 03:03
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Yeah, they sure do. In the neighborhood, it's gotten a little more character. It's become a little more urban, you know? But I'm still out there every year.

40. 03:17
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Yeah, well, why don't you tell us about this tray here of Halloween hors d'oeuvres, or should I say horrors d'oeuvres?

41. 03:27
    

    Terry Rialto

    That's funny. You're really funny. Yeah.

42. 03:30
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Thanks. Thanks. I thought of that last Christmas, but I had to wait until now to use it.

43. 03:38
    

    Gordon Hoover

    That's good. Well, one of my favorite spooky treats are these little ghosts. These bone-chilling specters are made by taking an ordinary lollipop and wrapping it in toilet paper.

44. 03:51
    

    Terry Rialto

    Wow. I never knew that toilet paper could be so scary.

45. 03:56
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    I know. Yeah, yeah.

46. 03:57
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Well, it can be. Yeah. It can be. Yeah. Yeah. Especially if it's thrown at your house by a gang of masked teenagers shouting Spanish curse words and swilling something out of a bottle marked El Gato Diablo.

47. 04:16
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Well, at Halloween, tricks can be as fun as treats, I guess.

48. 04:19
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Yeah. Yeah. I tell myself that.

49. 04:24
    

    Terry Rialto

    So what else did you bring?

50. 04:26
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Well, Terry, um, Terry, uh, one of the scariest Halloween foods out there is this.

51. 04:32
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    Isn't that cereal?

52. 04:34
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Um, yes, it's General Mills' most terrifying brand of cereal available. This is Count Chocula.

53. 04:40
    

    Terry Rialto

    Oh, Count Chocula. Yeah. Now, isn't he some kind of Black Dracula?

54. 04:45
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Yeah, he is, yeah. And that, incidentally, is the name of the gang that marauds around my neighborhood. the Black Draculas, and that's pretty much a year-round thing.

55. 05:05
    

    Terry Rialto

    So on Halloween, the kids come to your door and get this scary cereal?

56. 05:11
    

    Gordon Hoover

    Well, no, they don't really come to the door anymore. They mostly let themselves in through an open window, or they cut out a screen door. are and I don't think they're really looking for cereal as much as electronics and stereo equipment and cheap thrills

57. 05:31
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    well speaking of thrills you know what Terry and I like to do put peeled grapes in a bowl and they they really feel like eyeballs

58. 05:40
    

    Gordon Hoover

    is that a joke about my scratch cornea

59. 05:48
    

    Terry Rialto

    so do you have anything special planned for this year's gordon hoover scary town

60. 05:58
    

    Gordon Hoover

    do i ever let me tell you those punks are in for a big surprise if they try to screw with gordon hoover this year

61. 06:05
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    oh neat i bet that'll be fun

62. 06:07
    

    Terry Rialto

    yeah it's good times

63. 06:10
    

    Gordon Hoover

    no it won't be good times it'll be more along the order of razor blades on the windowsills and buckets of human waste propped over the door jams those little a-holes better watch their asses this halloween

64. 06:26
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    well that's about all the time we have

65. 06:28
    

    Gordon Hoover

    i don't care if i have to go down i'm going to take a couple of black draculas with me

66. 06:33
    

    Margaret Jo McCullin

    please join us next time when we discuss bran