NPR's Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:03

   Hello. Hello.

2. 00:04
   

   Margaret Jo McCullen

   I'm Margaret Jo McCullen.

3. 00:06
   

   Teri Rialto

   And I'm Terry Rialto.

4. 00:07

   And you're listening to The Delicious Dish on National Public Radio.

5. 00:15
   

   Margaret Jo McCullen

   Now, Terry, it's Christmas season again, our favorite time of year.

6. 00:19
   

   Teri Rialto

   That's right, Margaret Jo. Holiday time is when the most wonderful culinary wishes can come true. Now, what's on your list this holiday season, Margaret Jo?

7. 00:28
   

   Margaret Jo McCullen

   Well, Terry, I really got greedy this year. I'm asking Kris Kringle for a wooden bowl, some oversized index cards, and a funnel.

8. 00:38
   

   Teri Rialto

   Ooh, a funnel. That'll be great for funneling.

9. 00:42
   

   Margaret Jo McCullen

   I know. I feel like a glutton. What's on your list, Terry?

10. 00:48
    

    Teri Rialto

    Well, I'm only asking Santa for one thing, a big box of glue traps to help me deal with my excessive rat problem. Now, tell me, um... Um, are you, Margaret Jo, going to leave any treats out for Santa this year?

11. 01:03
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    Oh, absolutely. I always do. I like to leave Santa some tap water and rice. If Santa's anything like me, Christmas foods really wreak havoc on the old digestive system. What are you going to leave, Terry?

12. 01:17
    

    Teri Rialto

    Uh, I can't ever leave food out in my apartment because I have an excessive rat problem.

13. 01:24
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    That's neat.

14. 01:25

    Santa's fun. Santa's fun. Neat. Yeah, it's fun. Fun. Good times. Good times. It's neat.

15. 01:33
    

    Teri Rialto

    Well, Christmas is a time for traditional foods and bite-sized treats, and we have a very special guest today.

16. 01:40
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    That's right, Terry. He's the owner of his own holiday bakery with a very, very clever name. Season's Eatings.

17. 01:51
    

    Teri Rialto

    That's really funny.

18. 01:53
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    I know, it rhymes with Season's Greetings.

19. 01:59
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings, Pete Schweddy.

20. 02:05

    Hi, Pete. Welcome. How are you? Welcome, Pete. We like the name of your store.

21. 02:11
    

    Pete Schweddy

    Hi, thanks for having me.

22. 02:14
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    Now, did I pronounce your name correctly?

23. 02:17
    

    Pete Schweddy

    You sure did. Pete Schweddy.

24. 02:22
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    Well, Pete, Terry and I have been looking forward to having you on the show because we know you're the master of all kinds of Christmas goodies.

25. 02:27
    

    Teri Rialto

    Tell us about them.

26. 02:29
    

    Pete Schweddy

    Well, there are lots of great treats at this time of year. Zucchini bread, fruitcake. But the thing that I most like to bring out at this time of the year are my balls.

27. 02:38

    Tell Mmm. Mmm. Balls. Mmm.

28. 02:49
    

    Teri Rialto

    Tell us about your balls, Pete.

29. 02:53
    

    Pete Schweddy

    Well, over at Seasons Eatings, we have balls for every taste. Popcorn balls, cheese balls, rum balls, you name it.

30. 03:01
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    Wow. My mouth's watering just thinking about those guys.

31. 03:07
    

    Teri Rialto

    It's been years since I've seen any balls.

32. 03:11
    

    Pete Schweddy

    Would you like to see my balls now?

33. 03:15

    Yeah. Yeah. Whip them out. Whip them, baby. Wow. Wow, you

34. 03:24
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    You have some beautiful balls.

35. 03:28
    

    Teri Rialto

    they're bigger than I expected

36. 03:30
    

    Pete Schweddy

    I know a lot of people tell me that

37. 03:34
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    look at that Terry the way they glisten

38. 03:37
    

    Pete Schweddy

    that's because I make sure that each one of my balls gets plenty of oil

39. 03:42
    

    Teri Rialto

    I can't help but notice Pete your balls are a little misshapen

40. 03:46
    

    Pete Schweddy

    that's because I rested them on a hot stove for too long

41. 03:52
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    can i touch your balls

42. 03:56
    

    Pete Schweddy

    go ahead but be careful they're very delicate

43. 04:02
    

    Teri Rialto

    wow i can't wait to get my mouth around this ball

44. 04:06
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    oh i like the way your balls smell

45. 04:12
    

    Pete Schweddy

    do Do whatever you want to them ladies my balls are here for your pleasure

46. 04:26

    wow

47. 04:31
    

    Teri Rialto

    Wow, i have to say your balls are so tender

48. 04:35
    

    Pete Schweddy

    well there's no beating my balls they're made from a secret sweaty family recipe no one can resist my sweaty balls

49. 04:55
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    nothing like a sweaty ball

50. 04:58

    good times good times

51. 05:01
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    oh our producer Glenn is is gesturing to us from the technician's booth. And it looks like he, oh, very good. He's telling us to wrap it up.

52. 05:17
    

    Margaret Jo McCullen

    I guess that's all the time we have today, Terry.

53. 05:19
    

    Teri Rialto

    So join us next week when our topic will be that other holiday favorite.

54. 05:23

    Fragrant salty nuts.

55. 05:27
    

    Pete Schweddy

    Hey, quick plug. If you order from Seasons Evenings now, we can still send out a special sweaty ball sack in time for Christmas.

56. 05:34
    

    Teri Rialto

    Ooh, great idea. My niece would love a sack of sweaty balls.

57. 05:39

    Thank you.