Weekend Update: The Original Nosferatu

Colin Jost welcomes the original Nosferatu, played by Sarah Sherman in full Count Orlok makeup, to weigh in on the holiday box-office success of the Nosferatu remake. The ancient vampire claims to have travelled across oceans and a jammed bridge to reach the studio, then spends the interview steering every exchange into insults about Jost's body, his assistants, his facial hair and his supposed cocaine habit. Beneath the jabs is professional jealousy: Nosferatu insists the muscular new star looks nothing like him, demonstrates the single sit-up vampires manage each day, and complains he never got an audition. After lusting after Jost's neck, a bloody punchline about Sherman herself and a parting baseball motto, the creature signs off by admitting he actually liked the film.