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Adam Sandler on More Halloween Costume Ideas
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Kevin Nealon welcomes Adam Sandler back to the Update desk for another round of Halloween advice. Arguing that nobody needs to buy a fancy costume, Sandler demonstrates bargain disguises made from his own face, a newspaper, a sneaker and a school protractor, slipping into each persona to demand candy. The bits grow stranger as he hides beneath the news desk as Crazy Guy Under the Desk and finishes as Crazy Protractor Beard before wishing everyone a happy Halloween.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
My face ain't normal, it's a damn newspaper!
Come on, I'm almost extinct. Give me the candy.
My vision is impaired, but I can still see you've got candy.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This was the second of Adam Sandler's Halloween costume-idea segments on Weekend Update; he first offered suggestions in 1991 and returned again in 1993.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Kevin Nealon
Here again with his Halloween costume suggestions is Adam Sandler. Adam.
- 00:04
Adam Sandler
Oh, if you're not out trick or treating right now, there's a good chance you didn't want to spend the money on a fancy costume. Well, you really don't have to, and you still have time to get loads of candy tonight with my low-cost costume ideas. You can just use your face. Go as smiley boy.
- 00:29
Smiley Boy
Hey, I'm smiley boy, look at me. I got a big smile on my face. Now give me some candy! Come on, I'm smiling away here! What do you want from me? Give me that candy!
- 00:42
Adam Sandler
Or you can go as about to sneeze man.
- 00:46
About To Sneeze Man
Hey, I'm about to sneeze man and I want some candy. Look at me all squished up like I'm gonna sneeze. Before I do, could you give me some candy? Candy!
- 00:58
Adam Sandler
Or you can use a prop you have lying around the house. A newspaper's great. You can go as Crazy Newspaper Face.
- 01:09
Crazy Newspaper Face
I'm Crazy Newspaper Face! I'm the Crazy Newspaper Face! My face ain't normal, it's a damn newspaper!
- 01:20
Adam Sandler
Or you can go as Crazy Newspaper Unicorn Man.
- 01:30
Crazy Newspaper Unicorn Man
I'm Crazy Newspaper Unicorn Man, and I do believe I want some candy. Come on, I'm almost extinct! Give me the candy!
- 01:43
Adam Sandler
Sneaker is great too, you can use a sneaker.
- 01:48
Crazy Sneaker Hand
I'm crazy sneaker hand hello perhaps you've heard of me I have a sneaker for a hand and I want some candy now fork some candy over pronto don't make me use the sneaker I have for a hand in a bad way candy
- 02:04
Adam Sandler
so as crazy guy under the desk
- 02:08
Crazy Guy Under the Desk
I'm crazy guy under the desk just because you can't see me Don't mean I don't want candy candy on the desk You do not come down here mention I was crazy
- 02:33
Adam Sandler
You can use something from your school supplies like this protractor
- 02:40
Crazy Protractor Face
I'm crazy protractor face My vision is impaired, but I can still see you've got candy
- 02:50
Adam Sandler
Or go as Crazy Protractor Beard.
- 02:54
Crazy Protractor Beard
I'm Crazy Protractor Beard. Look, I got a beard made out of a damn protractor. Isn't that bizarre? Now, I believe you're gonna give me some candy. I got all night. I'm just a guy who's got a protractor for a beard. I got nowhere to go, so you might as well cough up that candy.
- 03:12
Adam Sandler
Happy Halloween, everybody.
- 03:14
Kevin Nealon
Adam Sandler.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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