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Mom Confession
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
My butt fell off. Can't find it.
I'm starting to wonder if drag queens are actually hilarious.
Is it possible you just like hats?
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Four grown children have flown home to see their parents when Mom says she has something shocking to tell them and makes everyone practise not reacting, first with a ridiculous bug-eating example and then a missing body part. The kids promise to hold their faces still while she admits she may have changed her mind about Donald Trump, but every flinch sends her retreating until she is bargained back into it. She edges on to doubts about guns, trans people and drag queens, while the siblings bite their tongues, Dad keeps reminding everyone it is his birthday and the family trades barbs about matcha, Hamilton and IUDs. A promised birthday dinner at Red Robin hangs over the argument. Once everyone has apologised and agreed to be supportive, Dad proudly offers room in his Cybertruck and the children cannot help telling him to sell it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Mother
Well, thanks kids for flying in to come see your old mom and dad
- 00:05
Son
Oh, of course, Dad. Glad to.
- 00:07
Daughter
Oh, we love you. We love you.
- 00:10
Greg
Oh, well, should we head to the restaurant? I'm starving.
- 00:13
Son
Oh, yeah.
- 00:15
Mother
Oh, oh, wait. Wait, there's um There's something I need to tell you all first.
- 00:22
Son
Oh Okay. What is it mom?
- 00:24
Daughter
Is everything okay?
- 00:25
Mother
I'm only gonna say it if after I do you, you promise you will not react. No talking, no faces, no nothing.
- 00:40
Son
Mom, what is going on?
- 00:42
Daughter
Yeah, you're scaring us.
- 00:44
Mother
The thing I'm going to say is shocking. And it's going to make you want to react. But I need you to promise that you will not.
- 00:56
Son
Yeah, fine.
- 00:57
Daughter
Sure, yeah.
- 00:58
Son
Yeah.
- 00:58
Mother
Let's do a practice example. I eat bugs. I eat bugs.
- 01:05
Son
Mom, what?
- 01:07
Mother
No, no, no, what did I say?
- 01:08
Son
Sorry, sorry.
- 01:10
Mother
No speaking, no talking, no nothing. Okay, let's try again, pretend example. My butt fell off, can't find it. I don't have a butt.
- 01:24
Mother
Okay, good. What I have to tell you is I may have changed my mind about Trump Stop it! Stop! Do you want this to be real or not
- 01:47
Son
yes
- 01:48
Daughter
sure
- 01:49
Son
yeah
- 01:53
Mother
I feel now like he might be bad for our country What did I say? What did I say?
- 02:10
Son
I'm sorry
- 02:11
Daughter
You've gotta be joking
- 02:12
Daughter
we've been saying this is 2016
- 02:14
Mother
oh I'm sorry I'm late to the perfect party do you guys want this to be real or not
- 02:20
Son
Yes. We want this to be real. Absolutely.
- 02:22
Mother
then give me grace i feel like maybe some of the things he says aren't true Okay, Bye, I'm going back! Bye! I take it back!
- 02:47
Son
Mom, come on. Don't
- 02:49
Greg
do that guys come on can't you see this is hard for your mother also i want to remind everybody it is my birthday
- 02:59
Mother
And Greg, we are going to get to that. And for the record, you little brats, I do still think he's a good businessman.
- 03:06
Son
Mom!
- 03:06
Mother
I do! I do! You know what? This is why nobody likes your side! You think you know everything with your matcha, rapping Hamilton, and your IUDs. Just have kids already!
- 03:18
Daughter
What are you talking about?
- 03:21
Greg
Maybe we could talk about this at Red Robin. I'm afraid they're going to give our table away and I want my birthday scoop.
- 03:29
Son
Okay, Mom, we're sorry. We'll be quiet. Just say what you need to say.
- 03:34
Mother
Fine. But I swear to God, if I hear a single, I told you so, I will go see the Melania movie tonight! You hear me?
- 03:46
Son
Okay. We're serious this time, really.
- 03:50
Mother
Then I will speak. The things that are happening, no one could have seen coming I feel like the way they talk about guns is different for different people They made me feel worried about trans people but now I'm realizing I don't really get what the problem is.
- 04:39
Mother
I'm starting to wonder if drag queens are actually hilarious.
- 04:48
Daughter
Oh, stop that! I see what you're doing! Stop it!
- 04:51
Greg
Enough, enough, leave your mother alone. Her laptop is old. She gets a different internet than you.
- 04:57
Daughter
What?
- 04:58
Son
That is not how that works.
- 05:00
Mother
That is how that works, and this is vulnerable for me, okay? You should understand. What did I say when you came out?
- 05:06
Daughter
You said, is it possible you just like hats? Still waitin' on the answer, babe.
- 05:13
Greg
All right, please stop getting your mother worked up, or she won't dance for me tonight.
- 05:18
Son
Ew!
- 05:18
Mother
It's his birthday! You wouldn't be here without it!
- 05:23
Son
Okay, relax. Mom, we're sorry. You're right. We shouldn't have made this hard for you, and we're happy that you told us.
- 05:31
Daughter
Yeah.
- 05:32
Son
We're sorry.
- 05:32
Daughter
Thanks, Mom.
- 05:34
Greg
All right. Let's get to dinner. Plenty of room in the Cybertruck.
- 05:40
Son
Sell that car, Dad!
- 05:41
Greg
Are you kidding me? Never!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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