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Yankee Swap

Saturday Night Live 2023 Season 49 Episode 8

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

At an office holiday gift swap, a coworker's life-changing present is traded away for a singing Santa toy while the swap rules keep bending.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Brenda runs her office's Christmas Yankee swap as the coworkers trade peanut brittle, hand cream, a neck fan and a dancing saxophone Santa. When Winston's turn comes, she hands him an unusually generous prize, a cure she arranged through her wife's job, and he promptly trades it away for the toy. The cure then keeps changing hands among coworkers who have little use for it, a tortilla blanket enters the rotation, and Brenda invents a Double Swap rule to keep the game going. By the end Winston is happily wrapped up like a burrito, and everyone agrees to let the holiday cheer win.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 7

Kate McKinnonHost

Brenda

Highly quotable.

It's not a treatment. It's a cure.

That's how Yankee Swap works.

I doubt it. My whole family's white.

ScriptEnglish · 42 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
Brenda
Okay, so Gregory got the portable nut pen and Lana got the peanut brittle, which she swapped to Casey for the hand cream.
00:10
Lana
Sorry, that brittle looks so yummy. It's just with my kids. We're a no-nut household.
00:15
Casey
I get it. I'm allergic to bees, so if any of those presents is a box of bees, do not swap with me.
00:22
Brenda
Right, I doubt anyone wrapped up a box of bees, but you never know, that's a funny Yankee swap. Next up is Landon.
00:28
Landon
Oh, me? Cool. Cool, how about this one right here? Oh, whoa, what is this?
00:36
Casey
It's a Boogie Woogie Santa Claus. Check him out.
00:40
Speaker 1
It's a boogie-boogie Santa, and I'm coming down the chimney tonight.
00:46
Landon
Oh, whoa! That was fun. Wow, who knew Santa could be so cool?
00:52
Winston
Not this guy.
00:54
Brenda
So, Landon, you gonna keep the Boogie Woogie Santa or swap it out?
00:58
Landon
Are you kidding me? This thing rocks.
01:01
Brenda
Great, awesome. Okay, next up is Winston.
01:05
Winston
Oh, my turn? Okay then, how about...
01:08
Brenda
Wait, wait, Winston. Maybe, um, maybe open this.
01:15
Winston
This? Oh, wow, okay.
01:20
Brenda
Congratulations. You have been enrolled in Vertex Pharmaceuticals and CRISPR Therapeutics' Exa-cel program for sickle cell anemia.
01:31
Winston
Is this a new treatment?
01:34
Brenda
It's not a treatment. It's a cure. The FDA just approved Exa-cel this week, but there's a two-year waiting list and Winston, we've been working together for eight years and I always hated to see you in such pain so, you know, Merry Christmas.
01:55
Winston
Oh my God, Brenda, how did you do this?
01:59
Brenda
My wife is a big-wig at CRISPR so I had to ask.
02:03
Winston
Amazing. This is, I don't even know what to say. Merry Christmas.
02:10
Winston
Just gonna swap this out for that boogie-woogie sound.
02:14
Winston
Boogie. Look at that thing, man. It's like he's some sort of Boogie Woogie Santa or something.
02:32
Casey
Well, yeah, he says that in the song.
02:35
Gregory
Winston, Brenda went to great lengths to...
02:38
Winston
No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. That's how Yankee Swap works.
02:43
Brenda
So, yeah, now Gregory has a portable neck fan, Lana's got that peanut brittle, Casey has a hand cream, Winston has the Boogie Woogie Santa, and Landon has the brand-new cure for sickle cell anemia.
02:57
Landon
But I don't even have...
02:59
Brenda
It's fine. It's fine. Maybe someone in your family could use it.
03:02
Landon
I doubt it. My whole family's white.
03:04
Brenda
It's fine. Let's just move on to the next gift. Michelle, it's your turn.
03:08
Michelle
Oh, me? Well, all right. What in the world is this?
03:15
Gregory
It's a tortilla blanket. You can wrap yourself up and look like a little burrito.
03:21
Michelle
Well, ain't that something, Gregory? I love it. But I think I'm going to make a trade, because, Brenda, someone in my family does have sickle cell. It's my mom, and it's been terrible. She's in pain all the time. She has kidney problems, and I just always wanted to make things better for her, and now, after all these years, I can, I can make her smile with this boogie-woogie going
03:52
Speaker 1
Ay! Ay! Ah! Ah! Kiss the Boogie Woogie Santa and I'm gonna kill you tonight!
04:02
Michelle
Woo! Look at that thing go, boys! It's a trip! She is going to love it, and Winston, you can get the tortilla blanket.
04:10
Brenda
Oh, come on. Don't do that to Winston. Oh, you know what? I just remembered something. We're actually playing Yankee Double Swap, so anyone who gets swapped out can swap again.
04:20
Brenda
So, Landon, didn't you get swapped?
04:22
Landon
Me? Oh, I did, yeah. That's right. So, Winston, I've still got the sickle cell cure right here. I guess I'll go ahead and swap it for your...
04:33
Winston
Hey, look at me. I'm a little burrito.
04:38
Winston
Hola, I'm so cozy.
04:40
Brenda
You know what? It's fine. He's happy. It's Christmas. Let's all boogie-woogie. Yeah!