ShopTV Christmas

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:02

   I know you. I know you.

2. 00:05
   

   Rhett

   Season's greetings, home shoppers.

3. 00:07
   

   Lindy

   Hey, y'all.

4. 00:08
   

   Rhett

   Ray and Lindy here live.

5. 00:10
   

   Rhett

   Wait, mistletoe check.

6. 00:12
   

   Lindy

   Whoo-hoo!

7. 00:13
   

   Rhett

   There isn't any.

8. 00:14
   

   Lindy

   Oh, you wish.

9. 00:15
   

   Rhett

   She wishes.

10. 00:16
    

    Lindy

    I'm silly today.

11. 00:18
    

    Rhett

    All right, it's 5 o'clock, and that means it's time for some holiday squeal deals.

12. 00:24

    Aah!

13. 00:26
    

    Rhett

    Odell, what is that sound effect?

14. 00:28
    

    Lindy

    We asked for something light and festive, Odell.

15. 00:31
    

    Rhett

    Oh, that's horrible, Odell.

16. 00:33

    Oh, my God.

17. 00:34
    

    Lindy

    Well, we got pa-la-la-la-lots of holiday items for y'all today.

18. 00:37
    

    Rhett

    Now, later on, the crafty Christian himself, Tim Tucker Neebs, selling his patriotic nativity set.

19. 00:46
    

    Lindy

    Wow. Oh, that is gorgeous.

20. 00:49
    

    Tim Tucker Neeb

    Yes, yes, lots of patriotic colors and baby Jesus is swaddled tastefully in the American flag.

21. 00:56
    

    Lindy

    Wow. Oh, that's clever. You know, that sends a sweet message.

22. 01:00
    

    Rhett

    Yes, it does.

23. 01:01
    

    Rhett

    Now, speaking of sweet, our first seller today is the owner of Delaney Chocolates, Mr. Dean Delaney.

24. 01:09
    

    Lindy

    Now, this here is a real-life chocolatier, folks.

25. 01:13
    

    Dean Delaney

    Yes, ma'am. I'm often called the Willy Wonka of Central Indiana.

26. 01:17

    Wow!

27. 01:19
    

    Lindy

    No, I never liked that Willy Wonka movie. We kept all those oomper-loompers locked in there. I did not like it.

28. 01:24
    

    Rhett

    Right? Mean.

29. 01:25
    

    Rhett

    Now, what are you selling today, Dean?

30. 01:27
    

    Dean Delaney

    Okay, well, it's Delaney's Chocolate Holiday Favorite, our deluxe chocolate Santa.

31. 01:34
    

    Lindy

    Ooh, that's all chocolate?

32. 01:35
    

    Lindy

    No. Oh, okay, I'm a chocoholic, and my mouth is watering right now, y'all.

33. 01:40
    

    Rhett

    Yeah. Now, this yummy guy is just $25.99.

34. 01:45
    

    Lindy

    No, that's it.

35. 01:46
    

    Rhett

    Yeah, phone lines are already going nuts. You're a hit, Dean. Caller, you're on shop TV.

36. 01:53

    Speaker 1

    My nephew would love that. What kind of chocolate is it?

37. 01:56
    

    Dean Delaney

    Okay, it's flavored milk chocolate made with 100% cocoa butter. And you can just look at how shiny and beautiful that this chocolate is.

38. 02:06
    

    Lindy

    Ooh, neat. Oh, child.

39. 02:08

    up.

40. 02:10

    Speaker 1

    Oh, hey, what? How whoa why does it look like that

41. 02:16
    

    Dean Delaney

    well does it look like what?

42. 02:18

    Speaker 1

    Like a big peanut.

43. 02:19
    

    Rhett

    Hang up, Modell. Hang up.

44. 02:22
    

    Dean Delaney

    Was he okay? He sounded a little rattled.

45. 02:25
    

    Rhett

    Yeah. You know what it is, Dean? I just think this little ridge and indent here here around the top makes it look a little icky, that's it.

46. 02:34
    

    Dean Delaney

    Oh, well, you need the ridge. The ridge gives dimension to Santa's hat when it's in the foil. That's just chocolatiering 101.

47. 02:42
    

    Lindy

    And you know, I'm sure it is, I'm sure it is. Now, you said it's flavored milk chocolate?

48. 02:47
    

    Dean Delaney

    Oh, yes, ma'am, hazelnut. Would you like to take a sniff?

49. 02:50
    

    Lindy

    Oh, um, I don't know.

50. 02:52
    

    Dean Delaney

    Oh, no, go ahead, give it a sniff.

51. 02:54
    

    Lindy

    OK, yeah, I sniffed it. I smelled it, yum. I'll just put it down now.

52. 02:59
    

    Rhett

    Well, Dean, it certainly looks delicious.

53. 03:02
    

    Dean Delaney

    Ah, well, yep. And we hand temper our chocolate, which gives it this smooth shine here.

54. 03:08

    Oh. Oh.

55. 03:09
    

    Rhett

    I don't... I don't... I don't love that close-up, Odell.

56. 03:15
    

    Lindy

    Yeah, maybe widen out, Odell.

57. 03:17
    

    Rhett

    Yeah, let's maybe...

58. 03:19
    

    Lindy

    Don't have to stroke it so much.

59. 03:21
    

    Rhett

    Uh, let's take a call, or hi there, you're on Shop TV.

60. 03:26

    Speaker 2

    Oh, hi, uh, if they... Bye, Bri!

61. 03:28

    Oh, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up.

62. 03:30
    

    Lindy

    Shame on yeah.

63. 03:31
    

    Rhett

    Hang up, hang up.

64. 03:32
    

    Dean Delaney

    well no it definitely doesn't vibrate Santa here is solid chocolate and it's as solid as a rock but it tastes a whole lot better than one sometimes I just want to gobble it down

65. 03:45

    do

66. 03:54
    

    Lindy

    Odell, Odell, Odell I'm wondering we have another one of those Santa's around that's in the foil okay we don't okay okay

67. 04:01
    

    Rhett

    now again $25.99 if you order in the next hour Dean's gonna throw in a couple of bonus goodies for free

68. 04:09
    

    Dean Delaney

    that's right It's a very sweet deal.

69. 04:12
    

    Rhett

    Oh, that little joke there, Dean.

70. 04:14
    

    Dean Delaney

    Oh, I got to chuck a lot of them.

71. 04:17
    

    Rhett

    Oh, he did it again.

72. 04:18
    

    Lindy

    Now tell folks about these bonus goodies.

73. 04:20
    

    Dean Delaney

    Okay, well, I'm throwing in two of our famous Delaney Chocolates Crispy Clusters.

74. 04:26
    

    Rhett

    All right. I'm just gonna oop. Sorry, Dean. Just want to get those out of there.

75. 04:34
    

    Lindy

    Sorry about that, Dean.

76. 04:35
    

    Rhett

    Okay, so what a deal that we got here. Caller, do you agree?

77. 04:39

    Speaker 3

    Oh, most definitely. but I'm just dying to know how they taste.

78. 04:42

    Ooh.

79. 04:42
    

    Dean Delaney

    Oh, well, de-lish. But, uh, I am biased. I'll ask our chocoholic here.

80. 04:47
    

    Lindy

    Oh. Oh, again, um, better not. Um, I'm stuffed from lunch, and I'm a mother, so...

81. 04:54
    

    Dean Delaney

    Okey-dokey. All yours, then, Rhett.

82. 04:57
    

    Rhett

    Okay, fun, fun, fun. All right. Just trying to work out how to come at this without becoming a meme. All right. I'll just, uh, take a little bite here. Well, don't blur it, Odell. Makes you look like I'm doing something naughty.

83. 05:16
    

    Dean Delaney

    Come on, now. All right. Come on. Don't feel guilty. It's the holidays. All right.

84. 05:22
    

    Dean Delaney

    Yeah, you don't have to eat the whole thing. Just the tip.

85. 05:25
    

    Rhett

    Okay, Dean. Okay, little nibble here. All right, there we go. Okay.

86. 05:32
    

    Dean Delaney

    Yeah, that's it.

87. 05:34

    No! No! no, no, no, no, no, no. Shame on you! Shame! Shame! It's a shame.

88. 05:40
    

    Lindy

    Free Now Dean's offering shipping. How soon can folks get their hands on one of these yummy Santas?

89. 05:49
    

    Dean Delaney

    Well, see, I handle all the packages myself, so it should come pretty quick.

90. 05:54
    

    Lindy

    OK. After the no, no, no, stick around because after break, we got more holiday squeal deals.'all.

91. 06:02
    

    Lindy

    Odell! Change the damn sound effect, Odell!

92. 06:06
    

    Rhett

    Change that!

93. 06:08

    Change that!