You're tuned to the good stuff
HR Meeting
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Two HR representatives open a mandatory meeting with a simple rule: employees may ask a coworker out once, and a no ends it. An eager employee spends his ask on Laurel, is turned down, settles for Carly as his backup, then asks whether her yes can be saved for later. The room's questions only get worse: Eric wants to know whether tickling female colleagues is allowed, the same employee outs Clark to everyone and tries to buy Clark's unused ask with a wad of cash from his lunchtime strip-club visits, and a supervisor confesses to a months-long secret fling with her subordinate Robert. As the exasperated HR pair try to wrap up, the employee delivers a heartfelt summary that invents a whole system of rollover, interest-earning asks, capped by a coworker showing off a pair of very short khakis.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 12
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
So can I take that yes and bank it and use it on Laurel?
There's no banking it. It's not a game show.
Are we allowed to ask women if they are ticklish?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Bowen Yang
okay everyone thanks for coming to this mandatory hr meeting
- 00:06
let's make some noise
- 00:08
Bowen Yang
okay let's start with workplace relationships generally we discourage it but of course it happens so we have a few rules
- 00:19
Chloe Fineman
yes like you can ask a co-worker out once but if they say no you cannot ask them again
- 00:24
Shane Gillis
so wait question i can ask anyone out one time
- 00:28
Chloe Fineman
i guess technically yes
- 00:31
Shane Gillis
sweet Tweet, Laurel, will you go out with me?
- 00:34
Laurel, office employee
Uh, no.
- 00:36
Shane Gillis
So that's it, then? Like, that door's closed until it resets at the end of the year?
- 00:42
Chloe Fineman
No, it doesn't reset.
- 00:45
Shane Gillis
Okay, I think I understand. I can't ask Laurel out again, which means I have to move on to my second choice. Carly, will you go out with me?
- 00:54
Carly, office employee
Don't love that you called me your second choice, but sure.
- 00:58
Shane Gillis
See, this is interesting. Because I don't want to go out with Carly, so can i take that yes and bank it and use it on laurel
- 01:06
Bowen Yang
there's no banking it it's not a game show
- 01:10
Eric, office employee
uh excuse me i have a query
- 01:12
Chloe Fineman
okay eric what is it
- 01:15
Eric, office employee
are we allowed to ask women if they are ticklish
- 01:18
no no
- 01:21
Eric, office employee
oh so you're saying i can just go ahead and try Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
- 01:24
Eric, cut your nails!
- 01:26
Bowen Yang
No!
- 01:28
Shane Gillis
Another question. So we all know Clark is gay, right?
- 01:33
Clark, office employee
Nope, only told you.
- 01:36
Shane Gillis
Now that we all know Clark is gay, which I'm personally fine with, but since Clark is never gonna ask a woman out due to his condition, does that mean I can buy Clark's ass?
- 01:48
Clark, office employee
Sure, 20 bucks a pop.
- 01:49
Shane Gillis
Great. Wait, here's, uh, it's like $1,500.
- 01:54
Chloe Fineman
Why do you have so much cash on you?
- 01:57
Shane Gillis
Because I go to the strip club at lunch.
- 02:00
That's where I know you from.
- 02:02
Shane Gillis
Work together. Laurel, I love you. I think you're smoking hot. Will you go out with me?
- 02:11
Laurel, office employee
Still no.
- 02:13
Shane Gillis
Ah, back to silver. Carly.
- 02:16
Carly, office employee
I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes.
- 02:20
Shane Gillis
See that's that's what I don't like about you. You want it too much Okay, I'm just gonna bank Carly's yes, is that cool with everybody?
- 02:29
Chloe Fineman
Yeah, no, no, no banking yeses
- 02:34
Robert, office employee
Yeah, well we have a query
- 02:36
Bowen Yang
Okay, why are you all using the word query?
- 02:40
Robert's supervisor
Well me and Robert have been secretly hooking up for five months. Uh, is it bad that I'm his direct superior?
- 02:49
Chloe Fineman
Yes, that's obviously bad.
- 02:52
Robert, office employee
Uh-huh. Does it help that I'm just doing it to get a raise?
- 02:56
Chloe Fineman
That does not help, no.
- 02:59
Bowen Yang
Okay, uh, we're just gonna go ahead and wrap this up.
- 03:02
Shane Gillis
Wait. Can I say something? I learned something important today. An office is a sacred place, and office relationships are tough. But you can only ask someone out once, and if they say no, that's it.
- 03:16
Bowen Yang
Okay, that's literally the only thing we've covered today.
- 03:20
Shane Gillis
but here's something you didn't cover you can bank yeses and they roll over every year and over time they accrue interest and you can trade in your christmas bonus for 20 new asks
- 03:36
Office employee in tight khaki shorts
and booty khakis are okay
- 03:40
No, they are not. I was never okay. Never.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
