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Stuart at the Airport

Mad TV1998Season 4Episode 9
Mad TV
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Doreen Larkin anxiously hands Stuart to an airline gate agent for his first solo flight to see his father at Thanksgiving, and the agent soon learns what she has signed up for.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At Gate 35, a cheerful gate agent named Cindy assures a nervous Doreen Larkin that children travel alone all the time, while Stuart, a name card hung around his neck, gets ready for his first flight by himself, to Chicago, where he is spending Thanksgiving with the father who walked out on the family. Stuart comes back from the restroom eating a snack cake he picked up off the floor, recites his mother's rule about such treats only under protest, and refuses even to say hello to Cindy. When Doreen realizes he has lost his jacket, she runs off to fetch it, warning Cindy that he gets no more candy. Left alone with him, Cindy tries to win him over with talk of how tiny the cars look from the sky, but Stuart grabs the gate's public-address handset and has to be wrestled for it, and by the time Doreen returns he is showing off his signature move and demanding sweets. The two women give in and offer Skittles, use the candy to lure him through the door to the boarding area, and, with Stuart pressed against the glass, admit they already miss him.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Devil dogs look like cream-filled poop.

No more candy, Stuart, or your goo-goo balls won't drop!

Oh, I miss him already.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Aired in MADtv's Thanksgiving episode on November 21, 1998, which also features the Larkins sharing their holiday memories with the audience.

ScriptEnglish · 54 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:00

    Cindy

    passengers, passengers traveling with small children, and children traveling alone on flight 267 to Chicago at gate 35.

  2. 00:09

    Cindy

    Like I was saying, Mrs. Larkin, there's nothing for you to worry about.

  3. 00:12

    Doreen Larkin

    Oh, I'm just so nervous about my baby flying on a plane all alone. It's his first time flying by himself, you know.

  4. 00:19

    Cindy

    Oh, I know, but don't worry. We deal with this situation all the time. Where is your little boy?

  5. 00:23

    Doreen Larkin

    Oh, he went to the little boy's room. He had to make brown bubbles.

  6. 00:27

    Doreen Larkin ?

    look Well, there he is.

  7. 00:29

    Stuart Larkin ?

    Shut up!

  8. 00:35

    Doreen Larkin

    Stuart, where did you at that devil dog

  9. 00:38

    Stuart Larkin

    i found it on the floor

  10. 00:41

    Doreen Larkin

    oh you can't eat that what did mama say about the devil dog

  11. 00:44

    Stuart Larkin

    i don't want to say

  12. 00:45

    Doreen Larkin

    what does mama say about the devil dog

  13. 00:48

    Stuart Larkin

    i don't want to say devil dogs look like cream-filled poop

  14. 00:54

    Doreen Larkin

    that's right mama doesn't want you eating poop now stewart no don't you eat that you've had enough sugar today you're gonna get the diet oh he loves snacking now stewart this is the nice lady that's gonna help you on your flight. Go on, come over here.

  15. 01:12

    Let me do it. Come on and go over. Let me do it. Come on.

  16. 01:16

    Cindy

    Hi, Stuart. My name is Cindy.

  17. 01:19

    Stuart Larkin

    No.

  18. 01:21

    Cindy

    That's very sweet, honey. I was just gonna say hello.

  19. 01:25

    Doreen Larkin

    He's going to see his daddy for Thanksgiving. He left us on Tuesday, you know.

  20. 01:32

    Cindy

    Well, we better get Stuart seated. Okay, come on, Stuart. Let's get on the plane.

  21. 01:36

    Stuart Larkin

    I don't wanna go on the plane.

  22. 01:37

    Doreen Larkin ?

    Well, come on. It's time to board. Stuart, let's get on the plane and go! Come on, let's go right now! Now, that ticket was expensive, and if you don't get on, you're done!

  23. 01:47

    Doreen Larkin

    Stuart, where's your jacket?

  24. 01:49

    Stuart Larkin

    Uh, I don't remember.

  25. 01:54

    Doreen Larkin

    Oh, you you know what? You probably left it at the Cinnabon stand, and now I'm gonna have to go and get it! Oh, would you try and get him on the plane, and no matter what he tells you, no more candy, Stuart, or your goo-goo balls won't drop!

  26. 02:09

    Cindy

    Now, Just hurry because we're boarding right now so if you could...

  27. 02:15

    Hurry.

  28. 02:17

    Cindy

    Well, Stuart, do you want to get on the plane? Well, Stuart, you know, we're going to have so much fun. We're going to go way high up in the sky. And when we get up there, if you look out the window, all the cars on the street, all the cars, they look like tiny little ants. You've seen tiny little ants before, haven't you, Stuart? Good. Well, we're going to have so much fun, and I would love if we could just get on the flight now.

  29. 02:49

    Stuart Larkin ?

    Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

  30. 02:54

    Cindy

    Now boarding passengers in rows 25 through 35. Rows 25 through 35 now boarding.

  31. 03:00

    Not boarding

  32. 03:07

    Cindy

    that's not yours. Don't! Stuart, that's not yours to play with. That is the property of the airlines and that is... Stop to ask for that back

  33. 03:18

    Doreen Larkin ?

    stop that right right now and you give that back to the lady. That is not a toy. Don't! Stuart, you give that back. Go and give it back.

  34. 03:27

    Cindy ?

    Can Can you please stop?

  35. 03:34

    Stuart Larkin

    Oh, fine, fine, fine. Hey, Look what I can do.

  36. 03:41

    Thank you. Thank you.

  37. 03:43

    Doreen Larkin

    now, enough dawdling. Let's get you on that plane, Stuart. Come on.

  38. 03:47

    Stuart Larkin

    No, I want some candy.

  39. 03:48

    Doreen Larkin ?

    Oh, no time for candy.

  40. 03:50

    Stuart Larkin

    Candy, candy.

  41. 03:51

    Cindy

    If I give you some candy, will you get on the flight?

  42. 03:54

    Stuart Larkin

    Yes, I want some candy.

  43. 03:54

    Cindy

    I have some Skittles right here. Do you want some Skittles? Here you go.

  44. 03:57

    Stuart Larkin

    I don't know which color.

  45. 03:59

    Cindy

    Well, just pick one. There you go.

  46. 04:03

    Doreen Larkin ?

    No, that's enough.

  47. 04:05

    Cindy ?

    Want some more candy?

  48. 04:05

    Stuart Larkin ?

    No, my sword.

  49. 04:06

    Oh, to get... You want some more, Stuart? You know me, you...

  50. 04:09

    Doreen Larkin ?

    Look at the candy, Stuart! Look at the candy, Stuart!

  51. 04:12

    Stuart Larkin

    Look what I can do!

  52. 04:19

    You're orange!

  53. 04:22

    Doreen Larkin

    Oh, I miss him already.

  54. 04:25

    Cindy

    Me too.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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