Santa Song

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:03
   

   Leslie D

   Hey Hey, girls, I have a Christmas question for you. Has this ever happened to you?

2. 00:09

   Backup singer

   It sure has, Leslie D.

3. 00:12
   

   Leslie D

   Wait, I haven't asked you yet.

4. 00:14

   Backup singer

   Asked us what, Leslie D.?

5. 00:16
   

   Leslie D

   Just let me ask it, and then you'll know.

6. 00:18

   Backup singer

   Okay, don't get mad.

7. 00:19
   

   Leslie D

   Girls, I'm asking if you've ever dreamed of meeting someone your whole entire life, and then when you finally got the chance, it didn't go quite as planned.

8. 00:30

   Backup singer

   Oh, we know just what you're talking about. but sing about it anyway just in case we don't

9. 00:35
   

   Leslie D

   it was a winter's night a quarter to three I was dozing by my Christmas tree when he appeared with a full white beard the very guy that I revered I'm talking Santa Santa

10. 00:52

    I was in the same

11. 00:56
    

    Ego Nwodim

    You met THE Santa? Like from the Bible?

12. 01:00

    Backup singer

    Were you nervous, Leslie D?

13. 01:02
    

    Leslie D

    Was I ever, but I said to myself, don't be a fool, be smooth as ice and play it cool. So here is what I said. Hey, sexy mama, nice teeth. Yeah, I made it weird with Santa. Santa.

14. 01:22

    Backup singer

    Why don't you go ahead and call him Mama, Leslie D?

15. 01:27
    

    Leslie D

    i don't know i was nervous he's famous and i i thought if i winked he'd know i was kidding um does santa hate me it's anyone's guess he said my name and i said yes he asked if i've been naughty or nice and i said who's asking virgin yeah i made it weird with santa santa

16. 01:54

    Backup singer

    What's that even mean, Leslie D?

17. 01:56
    

    Leslie D

    I don't know. It just came out of my mouth.

18. 01:59

    Backup singer

    Well, what did Santa do?

19. 02:00
    

    Leslie D

    He gave an odd smile and said, okay, sure. Then he sort of started heading towards the door.

20. 02:07

    Backup singer

    Not the chimney?

21. 02:08
    

    Leslie D

    No, I think he just wanted to get out of there. So I said, okay, Santa, you do you. And then I made finger guns and I went zoop zoop.

22. 02:16

    Backup singer

    Yikes. What is wrong with you?

23. 02:18

    Backup singer

    Don't feel bad. It happens to us all. We met him once at a Christmas ball How could we converse? But then we should have rehearsed Cause then he asked if we'd been good in here So what we said You tell me, you're in charge, Daddy

24. 02:33
    

    Leslie D

    Whoa!

25. 02:36
    

    Kate McKinnon

    I thought I was flirting, I don't know But then I remembered, maybe he has a wife

26. 02:39
    

    Kate McKinnon

    So then I said, hey Santa So you and Mrs. Claus never had children Was that a conscious decision or was there like a health issue there? Or are the elves your children and you keep trying to make a tall one?

27. 02:50
    

    Leslie D

    Oh no Oh, then what happened?

28. 02:52
    

    Kate McKinnon

    He asked me what my name was, and I said, Beth. And he said, get away from me, Beth. I don't think I'm on good terms with Santa, Santa.

29. 03:02
    

    Ego Nwodim

    But it gets worse, because then I said, sorry, Santa, we'll leave you alone. But just so you know, your zipper is down.

30. 03:08
    

    Ego Nwodim

    And he said, no, no, that's just the fuzzy seam on my Santa suit. And I said, no, look. And then I touched him down there.

31. 03:15
    

    Leslie D

    Why?

32. 03:16
    

    Ego Nwodim

    I don't know, because my brain doesn't work.

33. 03:19

    We really blew it with Santa Santa He thinks I'm a dodo He thinks I'm a doof My oh my What's that sound on the roof

34. 03:31
    

    Santa Claus

    Ho ho ho Santa said that I should give you one more chance After all it is Christmas

35. 03:41
    

    Leslie D

    It's not our fault Santa We're not good in crowds We never know what we'll say out loud

36. 03:48
    

    Santa Claus

    all is forgiven in fact I bring gifts as a thank you for this jazzy Christmas what.I.P.

37. 04:00

    Wow!

38. 04:01
    

    Santa Claus

    What do you say my wife try again

39. 04:06

    Thank You Santa we're weird but we love you

40. 04:10
    

    Santa Claus

    hey Santa's a little weird too

41. 04:14

    MERRY CHRISTMAS MERRY CHRISTMAS MERRY CHRISTMAS