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Birthday Gifts
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You guys know how much I love art.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Trish’s friends arrive with bags of decorative signs for her birthday. She welcomes the first cheerful kitchen slogans, but each new plaque makes a more specific and less flattering comment about her drinking. When Trish objects, her friends insist they meant well, only for the remaining gifts to make their reassurances harder to believe.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Speaker 1
presents, presents, presents.
- 00:03
Trish
Oh, my gosh, look at all these GIFT BAGS, YOU GIRLS DID TOO MUCH.
- 00:07
Jane
WELL, IT'S OUR BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY, YOU KNOW WE WERE GOING TO GO ALL OUT.
- 00:12
Heidi Gardner
YEAH, GET IN THERE, TRISH.
- 00:13
Trish
OKAY, OH, MY GOSH. OH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE CUTE LITTLE FUNNY WOODEN SIGNS, LOOK, OKAY, DINNER CHOICES, ONE, TAKE IT, TWO, LEAVE IT.
- 00:24
Sue
THAT'S FOR ME. I DON'T KNOW. YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU COULD HANG IT NEXT TO YOUR LIFE HAPPENS COFFEE HELP SIGN IN THE KITCHEN.
- 00:29
Trish
I LOVE IT. but you guys know how much I love art.
- 00:33
Jane
That is so dang cute, Sue. Where did you find that?
- 00:37
Sue
Homestuff.
- 00:38
Chloe Fineman
Oh, Homestuff rules. Open another one.
- 00:41
Trish
Okay, all right, let's see here.
- 00:43
Heidi Gardner
It's another sign, I'm sorry, I copied.
- 00:45
Trish
Oh, wow, wine gets better with age. I get better with wine. Okay, guilty, you girls know that's true.
- 00:54
Jane
We do.
- 00:56
Heidi Gardner
I thought you'd like that, you know, there's another small one in the bag.
- 00:59
Trish
Oh, okay. Wow. Oh, my... Oh, my gosh. Okay, I had to read this one twice. Can you drunk how tell I am? You girls are so bad.
- 01:12
Jane
That was my favorite.
- 01:14
Heidi Gardner
You know, it was either that or everything happens for a reason.
- 01:17
Sue
Ooh, that's funny, too. That's a tough call.
- 01:20
Jane
Okay, this one's from me. I think we all had the same idea.
- 01:24
Trish
Okay. All right. I like you better when I'm effed up. Okay.
- 01:34
Jane
There's another small one.
- 01:36
Trish
Oh.
- 01:36
Jane
And it's my favorite.
- 01:37
Trish
Okay. Well, oh, hey, barkeep, I want to die tonight. Wow. Thank you.
- 01:45
Sue
You're going to run out of wall space soon.
- 01:48
Trish
Yeah.
- 01:49
Chloe Fineman
Here's one more.
- 01:50
Trish
Oh, gosh. Okay. Um, okay. I drink too much.
- 01:56
Sue
Aww.
- 01:56
Jane
I came this close to buying that one.
- 02:00
Sue
Me, too. Me, too.
- 02:01
Heidi Gardner
Oh, no, that is so funny.
- 02:02
Jane
That was my favorite.
- 02:05
Trish
I don't see the joke in that one, though.
- 02:07
Chloe Fineman
Well, it's like, look at me. I drank too much.
- 02:10
Jane
Yeah, and look, the woman on the sign looks just like you. She's cute.
- 02:17
Trish
I don't see that.
- 02:18
Sue
No, she does. Look closer.
- 02:20
Trish
I did.
- 02:22
Jane
Here's another one. It's my favorite.
- 02:25
Trish
Okay, well, you've said that about all of them, so. Oh, wow. I did dry January. I never took a bath all January because I was always too hammered, and I was worried I would slip under the surface of the water.
- 02:41
Sue
Aw!
- 02:42
Trish
Okay, I think I'm done with this.
- 02:44
Heidi Gardner
No, don't be embarrassed. It's your day. Enjoy the attention. What's this one?
- 02:49
Trish
Okay, let's see. I put wine bottles in other people's recycling bins so the garbage men won't know how much I go through in a week.
- 03:00
Sue
Aww!
- 03:02
Trish
That's not an aww. These are not nice.
- 03:05
Jane
Well, what do you mean? I thought you loved these. I thought these little signs were your favorite.
- 03:10
Trish
I mean, they are, but, like, live, laugh, love, not, I don't know, my sponsor thinks I'm in bed.
- 03:17
Heidi Gardner
I mean, I can exchange it for everything happens for a reason.
- 03:21
Trish
Okay, but these are all about drinking. I mean, are you guys trying to tell me something? We all drank during lockdown. We're all just moms having fun, aren't we?
- 03:30
Sue
We just thought they were cute. Here, Trish, this one's not about drinking.
- 03:34
Trish
Okay. Home, where the hoe and me come together. Well, I guess that one's okay.
- 03:45
Jane
Another small one.
- 03:47
Trish
Okay. Okay, um, I am sexually promiscuous, and my house is dirty. I don't understand these.
- 03:56
Heidi Gardner
That's another small one.
- 03:57
Trish
Um, I'm outdoorsy. I live outside, I drink outside. Great.
- 04:08
Jane
And then this part flips down.
- 04:10
Trish
Oh, okay. Okay, um, I bring a few bottles outside and drink under the trampoline. I'm fine as long as no one gets on the trampoline.
- 04:23
Trish
Basically, I just sit and drink dirt and drink. Okay, I am done with the party. Thank you.
- 04:29
Jane
Oh, no, Trish, no, come on. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I guess we should have talked to each other before we bought all these.
- 04:38
Sue
Huh. We just wanted you to have a fun day. We thought they were cute.
- 04:41
Chloe Fineman
Yeah, we got carried away.
- 04:42
Heidi Gardner
I mean, there is one more, but you don't have to open it.
- 04:45
Trish
Oh, just let me see it. Okay, I love the nights I can't remember with the friends I can't forget. Oh yeah. I guess that one I can drink too.
- 04:59
Speaker 1
Cheers. Cheers. Happy birthday.
- 05:02
Heidi Gardner
And it flips down.
- 05:03
Trish
Okay. Also, I am cross-faded as F. I don't even know what that means.
- 05:08
Jane
I think that's my favorite.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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