Principal Frye: Hell-oween Ball

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Vice Principal

   Good evening Booker T. Washington high and thank you for coming to our first Halloween ball to promote literacy I find it interesting that Halloween is misspelled on our banner Seems like a bad start First here's an announcement from principal Frye.

2. 00:18
   

   Principal Frye

   I'll take the teachers and students This is a special announcement about some of these costumes For the student who came dressed like an African princess on today young lady put a bra on You were dangling all over the place.

3. 00:35
   

   Principal Frye

   Pointed south like two compasses. This is a family event. We do not need any runaway breasticles.

4. 00:43
   

   Principal Frye

   Also, I don't want to alarm anyone, but there's a loose baboon up in here somewhere. Thank you, teachers and students.

5. 00:50
   

   Vice Principal

   Thank you, Mr. Fry. Now here's our librarian, Ms. Schrader.

6. 00:57
   

   Ms. Schrader

   Thank you for coming. Tonight I am dressed up as a ghost from the haunted library. library.

7. 01:06
   

   Ms. Schrader

   Not as many of you have suggested something called the KKK fairy.

8. 01:13
   

   Ms. Schrader

   I don't think that exists. Now, admission tonight is one book donated to our library. Yes, our school still has a library. Now, I know a lot of you would just rather use Google, but come by, please. No one ever comes by.

9. 01:29
   

   Ms. Schrader

   Not even a hunky science teacher whose name is Mr. Mr. Burns. Oh, God, did I just say that? Sorry. Um, here's Mr. Principal Fry.

10. 01:37
    

    Principal Frye

    Ha-ha. Well, t-t-teachers and students, the previously mentioned baboon was actually a student in a very convincing costume.

11. 01:50
    

    Principal Frye

    This jive-time turkey cut out the back of it, stuck his own butt cheeks through, and painted them rosary red. It was so r-r-r-realistic.

12. 02:00
    

    Principal Frye

    Also, I know we want to have fun tonight, but there is no Halloween character known by the name as Crackula. Thank you, teachers and students.

13. 02:09
    

    Ms. Schrader

    Our book donation box here. There's a little bit of a problem. Let's see. We've got a copy of King magazine. Is that a book? Is it? Here also we have an instruction manual for Madden 2006.

14. 02:29
    

    Ms. Schrader

    Now that's just kind of more of a booklet than a book, isn't it? Also, a DVD of Poetic Justice starring starring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur.

15. 02:41
    

    Ms. Schrader

    I'm sorry, that's not a book. Don't, don't, you stop booing. No, you stop, I am not Casper the Friendly Hole. Stop it! Now stop it!

16. 02:51
    

    Steve Kane

    Hey, shut up! Shut the hell up! This white lady, dressed up like a slutty Jedi for you.

17. 03:02
    

    Steve Kane

    For you. Trying to get just one of y'all to read something. instead of playing on your phone and watching videos on the YouTubes.

18. 03:11
    

    Steve Kane

    So this pretty white lady helped set up this nice tent in the parking lot of the Walmarts. Maybe we should have done this in my neighborhood, where folks are high on bath salts.

19. 03:21
    

    Steve Kane

    Everybody's face would have been eaten. Now shut the hell up and have some fun.

20. 03:32
    

    Principal Frye

    Attention, teachers and students. Two students have just been expelled for fornicating inside a Mufasa costume.

21. 03:49
    

    Principal Frye

    So what you saw on the dance floor was two students getting it on. and not a lion having a seizure.

22. 03:58
    

    Principal Frye

    Also, the young woman who came dressed in as a leprechaun, you are not fooling anyone. Son, look, it's a boy. Son, you are 6'5". You look like a pimp in green booty shorts.

23. 04:09
    

    Principal Frye

    Also, somebody put a pet shark in a dunk tank. You better get that pimp.