British Girlfriend: Sleigh Ride

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:02
   

   Gene's Fiancée

   This is so romantic. What a great idea, Gene, a winter sleigh ride.

2. 00:07
   

   Gene Diradusio

   It would be a great place to propose to somebody.

3. 00:10
   

   Gene's Fiancée

   Huh? You're hilarious. That's why I'm really starting to like you.

4. 00:16
   

   Gene Diradusio

   Well, I love you, and I'm ready.

5. 00:19
   

   Gene Diradusio

   Oh, honey, look. This sled has room. After you, m'lady. Please.

6. 00:24
   

   Gemma's Boyfriend

   Oh, my God, Gene! Oh, my God, he's jerking me right now.

7. 00:28
   

   Gene's Fiancée

   Is that you?

8. 00:28
   

   Gene's Fiancée

   Who is that, Gene?

9. 00:30
   

   Gene Diradusio

   I have no idea.

10. 00:31
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Babe, look, that's Gene. Man, I'm blown seeing you.

11. 00:35
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Come on. Get out of here. Be easy.

12. 00:37

    Passenger

    Excuse me. No, we waited an hour.

13. 00:39

    Passenger

    You're a jerk, sir!

14. 00:41

    Passenger

    Wow. I wish that was the first time that happened. Give me my card.

15. 00:45
    

    Gemma

    Hi. I'm Juma. Nice to meet you. Happy Christmas and all that.

16. 00:50
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Babe, no talking like that while wearing these jeans are too tight for that accent.

17. 00:55
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    You know what I'm saying, Gene? You know what I'm saying?

18. 00:57
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Slay man. Let's go.

19. 00:58
    

    Gemma

    Let's go. Yep. Yep. Yep.

20. 01:00
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    I'm sorry. Who are you?

21. 01:05
    

    Gemma

    I'm Gemma. I'm British. I got a brand-new vagina today.

22. 01:09
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    What? You got a new vagina today?

23. 01:12
    

    Gemma

    Well, we did it in Thailand. Flew in this morning. So whatever the time difference is, I guess I got it tomorrow. Merry Christmas to me, today or tomorrow.

24. 01:22
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    All right, Gene? We're gonna rock!

25. 01:24
    

    Gemma

    Thank you, Thailand.

26. 01:25
    

    Gemma

    Hey, don't make me laugh. It'll come loose.

27. 01:30
    

    Gene Diradusio

    I'm sorry. I'm gonna say it again. How in the world do I know you?

28. 01:34
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Dude, it's your boy, Wild Diggy, George. I carried you down from that zip line after you got too scared to go. You remember that?

29. 01:41
    

    Gene Diradusio

    I wasn't scared.

30. 01:42
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Well, you were crying, and you were hanging on my back like a little koala.

31. 01:47
    

    Gemma

    That sounds cute, Gene. I'd carry you like a koala if you wanted.

32. 01:51
    

    Gene Diradusio

    Uh, that's nice.

33. 01:53
    

    Gemma

    Aw.

34. 01:55
    

    Gemma

    It's nice how much you love your brother.

35. 01:57
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    What? You think he's my brother?

36. 02:00
    

    Gemma

    Isn't that sweet, guys?

37. 02:01
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Oh, my Lord. You see that accent and that little hand on my shoulder? Oh, man. I got to take your blanket, bud, because I'm growing a Christmas tree over here. You know what I'm talking about? Your sister knows what I'm talking about.

38. 02:12
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    I am not his sister. I am his fiancée.

39. 02:16
    

    Gemma

    No.

40. 02:18
    

    Gene Diradusio

    Well, practically speaking... Let's take it day by day.

41. 02:22
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    You better not be wasting my time.

42. 02:25
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    You got to think about yourself first, you know? Your brother don't own you. Just remember that. Girl power.

43. 02:30
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Speaking of girl power, my girl gives me this kind of power. Oh, hey. When the sleighs are rocking, don't you come and knock. Am I right, Gene? Am I right?

44. 02:39
    

    Sleigh Driver

    Sir, please stop rocking the sleigh. It's not safe, and you're spooking the horses, sir.

45. 02:44
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Hey, why don't you look in my eyes? Don't leave a look at my girl. Keep your eyes on Snow Girl.

46. 02:49
    

    Sleigh Driver

    I'm actually asexual. Not that anyone ever cares or asks.

47. 02:53
    

    Gemma

    Thanks, Dave. I love your anger.

48. 02:55
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Oh, my God. I almost forgot the best part. My girl's a singer.

49. 03:00
    

    Gene's Fiancée

    What?

50. 03:01
    

    Gemma

    He said I'm a singer!

51. 03:04
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Gene, you and your sister's ears are about to climax together to her new Christmas album. It is dope. It's all about hope. Do it, baby.

52. 03:12
    

    Gemma

    -♪ Light's flashing, beat's hounding, ass-grabbing, boy's hounding That's when you see him all decked out in red Santa's dancing in the corner Ah, Santa's suckin' in the corner Ah, and now we're snuggin' in the corner Ah, Santa's in my suckin's tonight!

53. 03:32
    

    Gemma

    Sorry, kids, Santa's busy.

54. 03:35
    

    Sleigh Driver

    Sir, you have to stop rocking the sleigh. The horses are being lifted up the ground. The hooves are in mid-air.

55. 03:42
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Aye, just like Santa's real reindeer do, right? They got the hooves up in the air, don't they? It's Christmas magic. I gotcha.

56. 03:48
    

    Gemma

    Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop.

57. 03:52
    

    Gene Diradusio

    All right! I can't take it anymore. Should we jump?

58. 03:55
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Yeah, let's do it, buddy. Gene, come on. Let's get ready. Gene's sister, let's do it. One, two, six. Woo! Hey!

59. 04:02
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    She's such a mug.

60. 04:04
    

    Gemma's Boyfriend

    Buddy, do you smell any songs?

61. 04:06
    

    Gemma

    Oh, yeah, of course. We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas. I know this one. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.